Published August 9, 2009
I'm not sure what to call this... It's based on a true story of me and my fried, but all names [Apart from Ed. Cullen] have been changes around. I'ts not fact, yet not fiction! Enjoy!
“Edward. Cullen. Is. Ugly.” I pronounce it nice and slow as if to drill it into her head. I look to my side, and poke my tongue out at Tina, who is walking beside me.
“No, he is not! Use your ‘I’ statements, Gemma,” she protests. And so, the age old battle begins. You see, Tina has some kind of thought that, if you put ‘I think’ in front of anything that you say, then the world will agree to disagree and everything will be peaceful in the land of make-believe. “I think Edward Cullen is ugly,” just to emphasize her point. As if I wasn’t tired of hearing this junk already.
“No, Tina. I will not use my ‘I statements’ because it is a fact. Edward Cullen, Robert Pattinson, is ugly. And you can’t make me change my mind,” I sigh, knowing that she won’t give in. She never does. “What do you think, Emma? Is Robert Pattinson ugly, or not?” I twist to my other side, smiling at her; surely she can see some sense. There have to be some people in the world who aren’t brainwashed by the Twilight phenomenon. Except me of course, but (as I am ever-so-readily reminded) I don’t count.
“Hell yeah! He is like… the ugliest thing on the planet! He’s the ugliest thing in the universe! He is even uglier than my mum in skinny jeans!” We all shared a laugh, but Tina was back onto her ‘I statement’ idea soon enough.
“I think he is the ugliest thing on the planet; I think he is the ugliest thing in the universe… and I think we can all just leave that last one alone.”
I was quick to pounce on the opportunity, even though it wouldn’t change her mind. “See! You just admitted it! You do think he’s ugly!”
“No… I was merely using an example,” she shied away. If we weren’t walking I could envisage her flexing her foot, or twiddling her thumbs on the desk. “Come on Gemma, this whole thing is stupid.”
“No, it is not! He is ugly, and I can prove it,” I looked around us for inspiration, but all I could see were the teachers’ cars parked by the drive, and the ‘cool’ kids playing with basketballs on the main quad. “Look; you see that car over there?” I pointed to the nearest car. “What colour is it?”
She was unsure of herself, as if I was asking a trick question. I was. “White?”
“And you see the car, your eyes pick up the light patterns and chemical impulses tell your brain that the car is white?”
“Yes… but what has this got to do with Edward?”
“He’s ugly, of course. But this is me proving it. So the car’s white, and I see the car as white, and you see it as white. And we can both safely say that there is a white car over there, by which we draw our attention to?” all three of us look back at the white car, which is now behind us. Emma takes the opportunity to wave goodbye and disappear into the canteen.
“And that means that, because you can see the car, and say that it is white, we call that a fact. Based on what waves of light your eyes pick up, what the chemical impulses say and what your brain interprets them as, you call the car white. That is a fact; the car is white!”
“And…?” She pushes the door, walks through and holds it open for me. There is a very disapproving look on her face. I follow Tina inside with a smile on my face.
“I see a picture of Edward Cullen. Waves of light;” I curled my arm up and down again a few times to represent the waves, “eyes; chemicals; to brain,” this again was accompanied with me dragging my index finger from my eyes to behind my ear “and I see him as ugly. I see Edward Cullen as ugly. It is a fact, and therefore it is true. The car is white, Robert Pattinson is ugly. No ‘I statements’ needed.”
I bask in the glory of proving her right, practically skipping through the hallway to the wooden benches where we hang out. I drop my bag on the ground, waiting for some kind of acknowledgment.
Tina digs into her bag and fishes out her lunchbox. She’s smiling. Somehow the sight wipes mine off my face, and I just have to ask. “What?”
“You know I stopped listening, right?”
I sighed, just like any other time. “You know I don’t care, right?” Before I could re-instate my win, I hear the booming voices of my other friends. They bounded around the corner with smiles on their faces, which immediately disappeared when they saw the sour mood Tina was in.
“What’s up?” Sarah asks, plunking her bag down on the bench.
“Gemma is trying to prove me wrong… again,” she sighs. It was quickly followed by a groan from the others. So what if it’s the fifth time I’ve brought up a scientific argument this week? So what if it’s only Wednesday? I always win, right?
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141,399 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
Hey, man, don't be hating on Robert Pattinson. He hates Twilight more than anyone else, and we shouldn't project the roles of characters onto the actor. Daniel Radcliffe is not Harry Potter. Kristin Stewart is not Bella. In fact, all of these actors are quite good. It is the character roles specifically in Twilight that portrayed the characters that way.
Anyway, I'm rambling. And no one's ugly. Everyone is beautiful. <3
I just want to say one thing- the title of this was very attention seeking- I was confused before I read this, and I kinda sounded like a mean bad thing! It may just be me- but I think that it may be a good idea not to use a name not quit like that next time! Do not mean to sound bad- just trying to help! This was a good work though! Congrats on being in the spotlight!
I just want to say one thing- the title of this was very attention seeking- I was confused before I read this, and I kinda sounded like a mean bad thing! It may just be me- but I think that it may be a good idea not to use a name not quit like that next time! Do not mean to sound bad- just trying to help! This was a good work though! Congrats on being in the spotlight!
Hey
I liked this story a lot! I loved the scientific side of the argument (for I am obsessed with science). Also, I liked the teasing relationship in the story, it made it really fun!
I didn't really see any typos, except in the very beginning when you spelled "friend" as "fried". I don't really have that much of a job to do I guess....
But anyway, overall great job on the story, I really liked it! The others may have their opinions, but ignore them, it really is great, they just take it way to seriously.
Keep writing,
Fire
Um... Heyo ^o^ I liked the story!
It was pretty fun to read and interesting. This reminds me of my own experience at school... The teacher made us put the "in my opinion" everywhere until that made up half the essay...
People might squabble but in the end it's generally fun! It was slightly confusing at the end about who came and what was going on and things, but otherwise it was great! 
Some people seem annoyed that the story mentioned Edward was ugly, but that's just part of the story .^. Have a nice day! (^o^)/
The imagery was pretty good, and the dialogue fun! I think this brings across the nature of friendship very well
Haha! Tina can so easily prove Gemma wrong, if she wanted to,but she doesn't! This amuses me. Tina must be a patient person!
She could use politely, "White is a matter of wavelengths, but ugly is a matter of taste. I can't help it if your taste is bad."
OR. If she wanted to go for the burn...
"No offense, but I think you're ugly, and yet I wouldn't call it a conclusive fact..."
Or, she could go for the scientific dig and say, "You want to be scientific? Let's be scientific. The perception of white can be easily perceived using chromatography, which is a study of quantum mechanics. If you can prove to me that Edward Cullen is ugly using quantum mechanics, I will agree."
And on and on the burns can continue!
Still, it's a cute sketch of a cute moment of a tiny battle between friends. I would probably switch up the ending to give more of a boom... it kind of fizzles out. Also, I think your description of her being in a sour mood is a bit much... would Gemma really push her that much to irritation? A little teasing, sure, but so much to leave her sour? I don't really see that here.
But, it's still cute.
Also, Robert Pattison was also Cedric Diggory. Observe:
So, I submit to you that he is not constantly ugly. But, I still find it weird and strange that he doesn't wash his hair. You can throw this in your argument, if you would like.
I'm not even gonna tell you hi
And I must say this is the worst story I've ever read...
First of all...one's feelings can surely be different from others but that doesn't mean that the one should hurt others' feelings like this...and I wonder how you dared to submit this work of yours...you know what...now while writing my hands are shaking with fury...causing spelling and grammatical problems but who cares?...Usually not fluent while reviewing but now my thoughts are really getting mad...my minds getting mad...usually i don't review bad about others' works...but now...my thoughts are making me do it...
I'm gonna red-mark 1000000000...unlimited things about this story
1 in the first line fried should be friends
2 indeed it's not a fact...it was not necessary to mention
3 this story completely hurts people's feelings...my one as an example
4 about the white car...it seems white so this is a fact...and edward seems ugly so this is a fact...but who said he looks ugly?
5 wow that was the fifth time???...I don't know what to tell...and i don't know how on earth i can forgive you...
6 yes you always win...but every time do you win by showing this kind of logic...or should it be called logic?????????????
7 The most important thing on the planet and in the universe...Edward Cullen is not ugly...he is the most beautiful person...thing...in the world...in the planet...in the universe...
8 Edward is not ugly
9 Edward is not ugly
10 Edward is not ugly
11 Edward is not ugly
12 Edward is not ugly
13 Edward is not ugly
14 Edward is not ugly
15 Edward is not ugly
16-1000000000...unlimted Edward is not ugly at all
The one's who think like you...hurt people like you...are the ugliest persons in the world...in the plant and in the universe...
Do not write such things again...it will be good for you
Urba...
Ommmggg you are so right, you tell her baby, man I will NEVER forgive the writer of this story either!!!I got so mad. Edvard is way hot. He's like an Einstein look-alike.
Good day...
O ya...seems like another Rob fan...wow...*dances*
I like him toooooooooooooooo much.........<3
I'm just happy to be here.
Wow das mean... I liked it ^o^
No offense, people, but why bother reading something you know you'll hate from the sight of the title? Then why go hating on the author? It's a waste of time and obviously you have better things to do than read things you hate. Go watch Twilight for God's sakes. But stop being mean for no reason.
I'm personally not of any particular opinion the Twilight series, but being obnoxious HATE-MONSTERS and leaving CARP REVIEWS is not okay. I appreciate you gave a few good grammar pointers, but really? This wasn't a Twilight-hate essay. This was a funny short story about a friendly squabble. IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT MUCH.
Also, all of you need to get it through your thick skulls that people will ALWAYS have differences of opinion. They may be things you agree with or things you don't. You're going to have to put up with that for your entire lives. So suck it up, stop being rude jerks, and leave things you know you don't like alone.
(P.S.: Anima, thanks for being a voice of reason here. :3)
Hey, @Urba. I just read this story, scrolled down, and saw your review.
And I hope that I'm not going to sound really mean.
But if you didn't like this, you shouldn't have reviewed it in such a manner at all. I get that you like this actor, a lot. And that's not a bad thing. Everyone's allowed to have their favorite people in this world. Yet it so happens that life isn't fair. Not everyone's going to like what you like. Not everyone's going to hate what you hate. So if you see something that bothers you... Well... Just, I mean, back away. Nobody said that you had to review this.
Just think. What if you write down this fantastic story and post it on this website, expecting some great reviews? And you see a notification pop up? Excited, you go in, but the only thing you see is someone insulting your words that you took great time to come up with.
CuriosityCat is quite right. Don't be mean for no reason. This was a funny short story. I'm pretty sure that the author didn't write this to offend anyone. Not you. Not me. Not anybody else.
And, God. I have to say this. Urba, you were saying these things throughout your review.
'Do not write such things again...it will be good for you'
'And I must say this is the worst story I've ever read...'
'and I wonder how you dared to submit this work of yours...'
Ehhhh. The author submitted this because he/she wanted to. Please understand that. People are on this website because they want to express their thoughts and let other people see it -emphasis on this- if they want to. And I really don't know about your experience, but no, this is not the worst story I've ever read. It's pretty good, actually.
And oh God. Please. People. You have common sense. Don't respond to a review like this in the exactly same manner. Please. This website isn't for hating and haters. Every single literary work, no matter what they're about, should be respected.
One last thing, Urba. 'usually i don't review bad about others' works...' please don't.
With hope, Mephis
Wow, I can't believe this story was even read after over 5 years of dust settling silently over it. I am bewildered that you all care so much. As for Edward Cullen, as I stated in the intro: Just recapping a conversation I had with a friend of mine. It didn't go anywhere further than that. It was mpre of a writing exercise trying to capture moods and personalities than anything. Wasn't trying to catch attention, and I am sorry if it seemed that way.