True Heir, Chapter 3(Second Draft)

Okay, so, thanks to the people who commented on my first draft I really appreciated it! This is my second draft and, personally, I think it's must better than the first. I italicized and bold-faced some of my sentences, i hope it works. Sorry if it doesn't and just makes everything confusing.

Comment and critique! Enjoy my story!

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[size=150][b]Chapter 3[/b][/size]

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[i]You can call me Angie?[/i] I thought, [i]who says that to someone they don’t even know?[/i] I didn’t know why someone would say that but I did know that the window in Cam’s room had just been broken and this woman had shown up almost exactly after that, doesn’t that sound kind of fishy?

“Um, hi, what brings you here?” I know it sounded totally lame but I really wanted to know what she wanted and why she was here or if she was responsible for the broken window.

Angelique smiled, “I’m looking for Julie Rayne, is she here?”

[i]Julie Rayne. How does Mom know her? I’ve never seen her before and I’ve met all of Mom and Dad’s friends since they’re always here.[/i] I looked at Angelique a little closer, she didn’t seem like the type of person to break a window, she just looked like any other sopping wet person standing on a doorstep, a strangely familiar sopping wet person.

“Uh,” why was this woman so familiar! “Yes, she is. I’ll just go get her I guess…” I opened the door; Angelique stepped in and looked around and when I asked her how she knew my mom all she said was “When you were born there were problems that I took care of for your family”, that didn’t explain much though.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back.” I turned around and left Angelique, soaking wet, in the hallway.

I found my mom in the living room, right where she’d been when I came home, dusting the bookshelves, the whole room reeked of Pledge, “Mom, there’s someone here to see you,” when she didn’t say anything I walked over to her and pulled out her headphone/ear bud thing and yelled right into her ear, “Mom! There’s a lady in the hall waiting to talk to you!”

Mom flinched when I yelled, apologized for not hearing me and left the room. I followed her and almost ran into her back when she suddenly stopped, “Mom, why’d-“

“You.” My mom cut me off; she looked shocked to see Angelique in our hallway, but who wouldn’t be? She’s a complete stranger, or is she?

Apparently, considering Mom’s next words, she wasn’t.

“You promised you’d never come back,” my mom didn’t sound shocked anymore she sounded angry, but the more I listened the more I thought I could detect some fear in her voice, too.

Angelique smiled at my mom, but her voice was emotionless, “Some promises have to be broken in order to keep more important ones, Julie.”

“What could be more important than my daughter’s protection?” Mom asked Angelique angrily. In her anger she’d obviously forgotten that I was standing right behind her.

“That’s why I’m here, Julie, your daughter is no longer safe, I had to break my promise to you in order to ensure her safety.”

[i]What’s going on here? What does this have to do with me?[/i] “Uh, Mom, what’s going on?”

Mom looked at me as if noticing me for the first time, “Heather, go to your room right now. This has nothing to do with you.”

[i]This has nothing to do with me? Yeah, right.[/i] “Obviously it does!” I shouted, “You were just talking about me! I’m not deaf! And who is she?” I gestured to Angelique.

Mom looked at me pleadingly, “Heather, please just-,” she said but she was cut off by Angelique who looked surprised.

“You haven’t told her?” Angelique asked my mom.

Mom was back to being angry, “There was no reason to tell her, she’s perfectly fine here. Without you.”

Angelique smirked, “Not for long. Heather give me the cloth you found.”

I froze and terror filled my veins, [i]Is Angelique a stalker? Is she stalking me?[/i] I thought, [i]How else could she possibly know about that? I haven’t told anyone! Not even Mom, much less a stranger![/i] Unfortunately I didn’t have time to contemplate that. Mom was yelling something at me that sounded something like “why didn’t you tell me?” and “I’m your mother you’re not supposed to keep things from me!”

Anger burned inside of me and I yelled, “Why should I tell you anything? You’re obviously keeping something from me! Even though it’s [i]about[/i] me!”

“I’m your mother,” she said sternly, “I need to do what’s best for you whether you like it or not.”

Angelique laughed, “Her mother? You’re as much her mother as I am.”

Mom looked horrified, I was confused, “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“It means,” Angelique, explained, “That Julie is not your real mother.”

I felt all the color drain out of my face and my body went completely numb, but before I could respond three men with guns burst through the door.

I screamed and started to back away quickly, but in my panic; I tripped over a pair of Cam’s sneakers. [i]Oh, God,[/i] I thought as one of the men aimed his gun at me, [i]this can’t be happening![/i] I screamed again and tried to crab-walk into the living room. I didn’t get far, I ran into the wall instead of through the door. I began to hyperventilate and it only got worse when the other two men aimed their guns at Mom and Angelique who had already been backed into the wall.

Tears were running down Mom’s face and she looked as terrified and vulnerable as I felt, but Angelique didn’t. She glared at the men while muttering strange words under her breath.

I tried to hide behind a big plant in the hall but the lead man was watching me too carefully not to notice.

The man whose gun was pointed at Angelique finally spoke up, “Dude, we got ‘em. Can’t we just shoot ‘em and be done with it?” He moved closer to Angelique and poked her, she sent him a look that could’ve melted glass and he wavered slightly.

“No!” The lead man barked, he was very intimidating with his tall, muscular build and I flinched when he spoke, “We only need this one,” He nodded in my direction and aimed the gun straight at my heart.

I was frozen in place as the bullet came at me. It was almost like everything was moving in slow motion, Mom let out an agonized scream that pierced through my terrified haze and everything snapped back into focus just as Angelique leaped in front of me. I screamed as Angelique fell to the ground, her blood pooling around her at an alarming rate.

I scrambled to my feet and the only thing I could see was Angelique falling to the floor right in front of me again and again. I tried to run away but something hard and cold hit me in the back of my head.

My knees buckled, I caught a glimpse of Mom running to me and heard more shots being fired before I collapsed into a heap on top of Angelique’s motionless body and blacked out.

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