some let the stain wash away with the rain
while some are still living the pain
but for me
i love every patter of this rain
sweet coldness soft coziness
but now when the sky shower
i wish it to not hit that number of the clocktower
light that died once again i can't see u at evening night
now at that time i dont want it to rain
for then i just want to be coloured in your shade
but still i love every patter of this rain
being wet with little drops of happiness on my every pain
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140,068 Literary Works • 672,978 Reviews
Hello again! I decided to stop by and leave a review for your other lovely poem! So, to begin, this poem seems to be even more relaxed in style compared to the first one that I read. For example, instead of writing you, you use the letter. You don't use capitalization in this poem, either or any periods or commas. I like how you open the poem by asking us a question:
This poem seems to be a reflection. I love these opening lines where you tell us about how some people are washed away, well, others still live with the pain. Personally, I am a person who loves the rain, so I connected really deeply to that metaphor. I also did like the line where you said "sweet coldness soft coziness", you did a great job with alliteration here. I feel like this poem could really benefit from some more line breaks, or commas or periods. Some of the lines are just hard to follow, because you can't really tell when one thought leads into another. At the same time, you did a great job crafting some really beautiful poetic statements, here! I would love to see more imagery, or descriptions of this rain, or these feelings that you were describing. You mentioned how you want to be colored in your shade, maybe you could even include details of what these colors look like or how they would make you feel. I like that repetition of the word pattern. He did a great job throughout this poem keeping my attention!
Overall, great poem! It was a little bit hard for me to follow along, but I still loved it a lot. You have a nice poetic voice. Something about it feels really dramatic, but simple at the same time. Keep writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
Such a beautifully written poem. It conveys a lot of emotions through other mediums, which I guess is most poetry. The rain is beautiful, and there is beauty in the, as you call it, "sweet coldness soft coziness." Such a beautiful thing, the rain, and it is the medium for many an emotion and thought. Love your poem, write more like it. The title is "separation in rain", so perhaps this is a breakup type thing. In the line., "light that died once again i can't see u at evening night" implies not seeing one another again? Not sure, but anyways a great poem.
oh sorry it's not a breakup type poem , I need to explain it cuz yea it's on a specific thing that not happens w everyone like I met my crush at a basketball court and i could not go to practice and see him at the day it rained so by the line "light that died once again I can't see u at evening night" meant hope that died and now I can't go for seeing you cuz it is raining and at last I tell how I
still love rain but not at that time.
and yes thank you so much