It's 4 am I'm wide awake.
listening to this music
and you be sleeping now, but in me
This melody keeps you awake;
as it starts to pour in my ears
I see a universe,
My eyes are closed,
but I see a world
I have got no sense,
no fear
You and me, are we,
in this world
by the time music reaches my heart
I can feel you,
my soul devoured in you
nothing can draw me apart from you
It's endless and so far from where it is drawn,
death might asunder us at most physically
but with my soul I'll love you, my dear, till Eternity,
like the people get lost in music
something travels inside - lyrics
and lose, of all senses, is occurring
I'm in this state every time,
In front of me you are standing,
Tell me, my love, how can
you be so cruel
to someone who is only yours -
something I'll always be questioning.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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This poem captures a feeling almost every music lover has felt at some point in their life. It reflects the powerful effects music can have on the soul. The grammar in the work is noticeably brilliant. I particularly love the capitalization of the word, eternity. It truly pulls on the emotions of the readers, highlighting a need that is stressed across time. I don't know if that was an intentional choice, but it does advance the poem and illuminates your creative ability. Another thing I noticed while reading is the repeated mention of the soul, and I love the reference it makes on the souls connection to music and the want of love. Even in the beginning, when you write of a world you see, the pacing is almost melodic, flowing like a song in itself. Overall, the emotions you were able to capture in this piece could make even the most experienced writers jealous. Keep writing! I look forward to hearing from you again!!
thank u so much for your review
This poem has a lovely emotional depth and a sense of vulnerability. It captures a feeling of longing and connection, especially through the imagery of music, love, and the self. The themes of soul connection and the transcendence of physicality are powerful, and there's a unique flow in the structure, suggesting a stream of consciousness, I really enjoyed reading this! -ZK
thank you