Perspective- Chapter 5

James's Perspective

I got the bus into Thame late that morning, I wanted to surprise Lucy, really make her smile for once, so that she’d know for sure I’d forgiven her about the Sean thing. I know I hadn’t stayed angry at her for long over this latest betrayal but the truth is, no matter how much she hurt me, I know that it would hurt more to lose her. So I forgive her every time, hoping that it will be the last time I will have to make that sacrifice. On Thursday I spoke to Annabel and Holly about it. Both of them thought I should’ve waited a little longer to forgive and move on, but neither of them ever really understood us. Lucy is vulnerable. It’s something most people don’t see. Something I myself rarely see, but it’s true. Occasionally the ice queen melts, just a little, just enough to remind me that she’s human and that I love her.

I wondered towards the recreational grounds, commonly named The Rec by local kids. It basically consists of a run down play area of rusty swings and a squeaky see-saw, and a large field surrounded by trees. I was relieved that the weather wasn’t too bad today. Although it was cold and the bite of frost remained in the air, there was no wind rain or snow headed our way. I walked to the far corner of the field and carefully laid out a picnic blanket- a cliché read an white chequered one which had resided at the bottom of a cupboard in the kitchen ever since my brother and I out grew family picnic’s at Wendover woods or White-leaf cross. I then carefully opened the picnic ‘basket’ which, in reality, was my over-the-shoulder scruffy school bag with a faded union jack printed across the front. I’d gone all out, scarlet strawberries, indigo blueberries, pink ham sandwiches (minus the crust as per Lucy’s preference), posh dark brown chocolate, and a single blushing rose. I’d even attempted to bring along a bottle of champagne, but when I got asked for ID at the counter of the local Sainsbury’s I had to sheepishly admit that I was just sixteen, and instead had bought lemonade. I now poured afore mentioned lemonade into two champagne glasses.

Once I was happy with how the picnic looked it was time to call Lucy. This was the part I was most worried about; what if she’d changed her plans last minute or was in the midst of one of her infamous mood swings? I hesitantly presses on my number one speed- dial and listened apprehensively as I counted each ring,

“Yup?” Lucy finally asked on the sixth ring,

“Good afternoon to you too, Babe!” I replied, glancing down at my watch, which told me it was quarter past twelve, Lucy sighed audibly on the other end of the line,

“Yeah, yeah, good afternoon and all that… now what do you want?” I was relieved to hear the humour in her voice and, slightly encouraged, demanded flirtatiously,

“Get your beautiful arse down to The Rec in the next ten minutes.” She laughed at my silly accent,

“Why does The Rec deserve to be graced with the presence of my arse?” she joked,

“You’ll have to wait and see…” I teased,

“Alright, Mystery Man, I’ll be there twenty.”

“Twenty?! You live five minutes away!” I complained, but it was no use, she’d hung up. I bitterly thought that she was purposely making me wait because, as with everything, Lucy likes control. Even now, when I was doing something nice for her, she’d endeavoured to control some aspect of it by making me wait for her.

I pushed the negative thoughts away, she was coming and was (for once) in a good mood. We were going to have a nice day together, like back when we first got together. I smiled at the memories of a more innocent fourteen year old Lucy, shyly kissing me on the cheek good luck before a football match, her lips leaving a glossy imprint on my cheek which I showed off like a trophy to the guys in the changing room. Then, a little later the same year, the moonlight bouncing off her rose tinted cheeks as she smiled at the ground outside Odeon cinema with cherry-red lips after our first proper kiss. Not long after that we sat on The Rec, not far from where I sat now, in the shade of an oak just holding hand and making jokes, feeling like the luckiest boy in the world. I couldn’t remember the exact point at which she’d stopped smiling like that. I couldn’t pinpoint when her turquoise eyes had emptied of naivety and innocence, subtly changing to reflect deceit and mistrust. I couldn’t remember when my beautiful girl had become so cynical, or who was to blame. I just hoped it wasn’t me.

 Lucy’s arrival interrupted my thoughts. She wore a cream woollen jumper that floated down to the top of her slender thighs. Thick black leggings covered her legs, and a pair of knee-high gray socks peeped out over her brown Ugg boots. I myself had never fully understood the female obsession with Ugg boots; to my mind they were slippers that are socially acceptable to wear outside. Despite her questionable taste in shoes, Lucy looked good. Her eyes sparkled with rare surprise, and her lips were curved into a smile reminiscent of the younger Lucy I fell in love with,

“James! This is so romantic” she squealed delightedly, accepting a glass of ‘champagne’ from my hand,

“You look amazing Babe” I told her, grinning up into her eyes, “come sit down.” She did as I said and took a seat opposite me on the rug, “Here, have a sandwich. I even cut the crusts for you.”

“Thanks, really thank you, but I’d rather just eat the fruit.” She said regretfully, taking a tentative bite of a strawberry as though to prove her point,

“Oh for Gods sake Luc, I hardly think one sandwich is going to make you fat!” I snapped, a little annoyed by her refusal to eat. Lucy shook her head, taking another bite from the strawberry,

“Mmmm” she enthused, I rolled my eyes,

“There’s probably not even many carbs or calories or whatever in this” I tried to persuade her, temptingly waving it in front of her face. She gave me evils. “Come on Babe, I put a lot of effort in, the least you can do is try it.”

“One bite.” She bartered, I nodded enthusiastically.

She hesitantly took a bite, but it turned out to be fatal. Pretty soon she’d munched her way through both her sandwiches, most of the fruit, and had demolished half the chocolate. Then we both lay on the blanket, our tummy’s stuffed, our smiles honest, and our hands entwined.

I couldn’t remember how Lucy had lost her childhood, but I was determined to give it back to her smile by smile and kiss by kiss if necessary. That’s what you do when you really, truly love someone.