You are not who you say you are. You call yourself my mother. I can see you now. Passed out on the sofa. The one Nana gave us. This is not my mother. Mommy doesn't drink from bottles. Mommy doesn't swallow pills. Mommy smiles and hugs me. You are not my mother.
They ask me why I'm always crying. They ask me why my eyes are red. I told you to stop. Why didn't you stop? I thought I was your baby. You are not my mother.
Brother's always leaving home. He's sleeping in his truck. Sister's always off with friends. She spends the night at their house, too. The only sleepover we have is with That Man. Who is he? Is he the reason Daddy left? Or is he Daddy's replacement? I miss Daddy. You are not my mother.
When you scream at me, it hurts. When you hit me, it hurts. Do you know that you're the reason I want to fall asleep and never wake? Did you know that Sister cuts? That Brother cries himself to sleep? I still have bumps, bruises, and red marks from your last rage. That's when you emptied all the bottles. Some of the marks are from That Man. He hurts me. I told the nurse that I was clumsy. I told the counselor, too. I lied for you. Why can't you sober up for me? You are not my mother.
Do you know I tried loving you? You made it impossible. I gave up. I can't love a monster, especially one who can't touch me without making my skin bruise or my mouth open and scream. Time after time I forgave you. And now I quit. You are not my mother.
I don't know if you ever will be.
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125,028 Literary Works • 672,898 Reviews
Hello. Kanome here.
To be honest, this is very saddening. I can really connect with this because this has happened to me in the past. Thinking about it makes the pain come back but I know I must strive on and live my life to the fullest, no matter what happens in this world we live in.
I didn't really see any errors in this piece, so great job on that.
I would love to read more of your work.
PM me if you ever need any reviews on any of your work.
Keep it up.
Keep writing!
Kanome
Wow... You show the emotions of going through this very well, and trust me, I've been there before. I had to deal with the abuse of my biological figure and stepfather. I hated her so much, and it was so messed up being in that situation. God, I know that there are so many people living through this right now, and its very saddening. The way one bottle changes it all. If you are going through this right now, you are in my prayers. Thankfully, the woman who gave birth to me is no longer in my life, and not a day goes by that I'm not grateful for it.
Just know, it gets better. Don't let bad habits control your life
Down to the critiquing, I think this was well written. Though I do think that some more description could be used. Don't just tell them that she hurt you, describe the things that she does. Be descriptive, and use more interesting vocabulary
Overall, excellent job! I've read every work that you've done so far, and I absolutely love your writing, so please keep it up!