Hey, amelie! VegasLights here to give you a review!
I totally see where you are coming from when you put this in the Satire category. This poem is short and sweet and gets straight to the point. Which I like because most people (me), put in a lot of detail just to get to the point of the poem but you get there quick. I feel like your point of view is from a little sister telling the sister "Hey, get out of here!" or giving the sister a range check. I don't know but either way, this poem is funny.
There was a mistake with the syllables in line 3 because there is 6 syllables instead of 5. Based off of the counting I did, it was a Haiku but I could be wrong. If that is the case, excuse me from my mistake.
Overall, I think your poem is different from the others you have written and I like that you are trying something different. That is definitely something I don't have the courage to do, so I admire you for that. Like I said before, it is short and sweet and gets to the point which is good. There is a very clear image in your poem and I think it was the clearest image I have ever seen. Because of the shortness in your poem, we saw that really clear image. I don't know if that made any sense but if you have a question feel free to ask! Sadly, all reviews must come to an end and here is the end of this one. I thank you for your time and I hope you have a great day!
xo. Miranda
(Previously Steam1244)
Points: 4
Reviews: 80
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