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138,055 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
I thought it was a nice poem at first I didn't get the rhythm of the poem but i just think that's cause I haven't read poems in along time.
HI!!!!!
i like it very much, because it reflects something with is there embedded in human and also in common human life. We all have dreams, we make dreams, intentions, plan and prepare, but one day, it is all gone - It reminds me of the song - In the end by linkin park. We all have great aims, for sure, but most of us end up without completing them, and life goes on just like that. It is very nice song, though short. i can't give much helpful critique, sorry, but it's all I can do, sorry. But again, a nice piece!! keep writing!! good luck!! but again, way too small
bye!! good lucK!!
Another brilliant poem by Aj!
I love how both the beginning and end contains a word of dreams! It's a true statement.. dreams are just so sneaky xD
)
I enjoy reading these, short but powerful poems and I love that you use punctuation! When I read this it flowed so well and the rythm was so great that I thought I heard rhymes even though when I looked it over again i couldn't find any ^^
Very nice job anyways, I like the content too, you say some very true things
(Purple's right... you need an extra O on the TO.. so that it makes TOO! Too can be a synonym to "Also" but it's also a word to express when something is extreme... Often used in front of an adjective like... the car didn't just went fast... it went too fast, and I didn't just eat much.. I ate too much. Get it?
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
You posted on my wall:
I disagree, and fortunately there's an official definition of the term to settle the dispute! Yes, it does mean "also" but it also means... to a higher degree than is desirable. As in... "Too much" or "too tight". Google it if you like.
The other one "to" is just... expressing motion, mostly. Like "I'm going to the store," plus a few other random grammar things. Like... "I use this word to express this emotion."
In this instance, since you're saying time is going by at a faster rate than is desirable, it would be "too fast."
Thanks for making me think about it! It's always good to back up what we think is certain knowledge with a little research.
~PurpleShade~
Well hi there;
I'm thinking... this will be a short review, for a short but sweet poem.
Nitpicks first!
Intentions, right? I think yes. Maybe it's one of those words with alternate spellings.
Missing apostrophe... 'Cause time went by. You're saying the word "because" but omitting the "be" so... yes.
Also, should be too fast, not to fast.
Overall it's an interesting concept... I enjoyed reading it, and it made me think.
Anyhoo, thanks for the read! Well done.
~PurpleShade~
Hmm..
Well, it seems I may be at a short loss of words, as this is a pretty short poem. But I will say this, it was very nicely said. You didn't wander off with your main point, you stuck relevantly to the message for the entire poem through, and I can appreciate that! Sometimes I'll read something rather short, and the point of the poem isn't very clearly read. But you seemed to pack in a small punch with this here. It was short and sweet, but just long enough to view and understand the message.
Your opening two lines seemed to be quite impactful, despite how mellow and simple a statement. It's true, dreams do come and go. The part about intentions being set aside was the part I really liked though, for it complemented your first statement rather well. We can have the intentions to make our dreams come true right next to having our dreams. The next step in that whole dynamic can be the trickiest part. Which is allowing ourselves to have what we want.
Anyway though, I just wanted to say really great job. I think that this could have probably been a lot nicer to have been longer, but short and sweet seemed to do just fine here. Keep up the nice work.
-Smylin'