adagio

hi adore!

this is out of the green room, but i really love it. like, really. i think it is quite simple, but that works with the surreal imagery you've got going on. i just had to review it, even though i already commented!

looking up at a plane and pretending it’s a star.

starting off with saying that i LOVE this!

there is something innocent about mistaking a plane for a star. that misperception is the basis of the whole poem, and it introduces this parallel of projection and desire. the narrator is past observing the world, and they are now actively reshaping it through their imagination. it feels childlike to me, but in a way that works well rather than dulls the main ideas. these distant points of light turn into symbols of something more personal. maybe, unattainable.

each image leads to another. i mean, yes, that is what poetry does BUT it can be hard to develop each image in such a short poem. no issue of that here though! the development is not even through logic, but more through association. it is as if the narrator is working through feelings too large for language by channeling them into transformation. they want to see stars. they want to crush the sun. they want these things, and wanting shows to be enough here.

wishing the glass would bend for my hand like water,
wishing I could crush the sun in my palm and swallow it

these are truly gorgeous images!

though, the ideas (the glass will bend like water/crushing the sun) feel kinda generic for the other concepts you've written. reaching through the window? that is an idea that feels alive to me; though, water feels very minuscule for the scope of everything that is going on within the poem. the narrator exists on this celestial level, so i would imagine their narrative being more vast and cosmic-scaled. the sun image is leaning towards that, but "swallowing the sun" definitely leans into cliches.

looking out at the mirror and wondering who is,
looking up at me imagining i’m a plane

i agree with mint that the first line here sounds somewhat odd. "wondering who is" could mean anything, to be honest. but what does it actually mean?

it is a beautiful ending! it has a looping, almost recursive logic. i think the syntax becomes muddled though since there is no line drawn between what is real and what isn't. it’s not entirely clear who is imagining whom, or how these other figures referenced (mirror = people? maybe), so i got a little lost. vagueness in poetry is something i love, but confusion isn't.

this is rich though! i like that it isn't afraid to be ambigous while still getting many points across subtextually. that's always a blast!

best,
floodlights

Okay I was planning to review older Green Room works, but I couldn't help but stop by and express my admiration at the sheer beauty and whimsicality of this. The repetition of "looking up" adds to the sense of wonder; to me it called to mind humans gazing up at the night sky, inventing myths to explain the wanderings of the celestial objects. The way it's "looking" instead of "looked" or "look" makes this work feel present and fluid in a lovely way as well. Alright, on to some specific lines!

looking up at a plane and pretending it’s a star.

I noticed that this is the only period in the poem, and I couldn't really figure out its purpose. To me, periods represent stops while commas are more fluid and join phrases together, and I think punctuation is a really intentional part of poetry. So I read "looking up at a plane and pretending it's a star" as being somehow slightly separate from the rest of the poem, which I didn't see a purpose for. Of course, I could be missing something, or overanalyzing this! I just think putting thought into even the small punctuation marks makes a poem something even more exciting to decipher. :]

expansiveness,

This is something totally optional (even more so than the rest of my comments in this review xD), but something I enjoy is playing around with spacing and formatting in poems. For example, "e x p a n s i v e n e s s ," could convey the meaning of that word visually (especially since it's the only word on its line!).

wishing the glass would bend for my hand like water,
wishing I could crush the sun in my palm and swallow it and

GORGEOUS. Simply gorgeous. I could visualize the glass turning into water and ripples expanding around the narrator's hand as they grasped the sun and crushed it, streaks of plasma rushing out of the gaps between their fingers. And beyond the beautiful imagery, these lines embody the all-too-human longing for the impossible so well.

looking out at the mirror and wondering who is,

While mirrors are very poetic, I wasn't so sure how this mirror connected to the celestial/airplane imagery. I know windows can be somewhat reflective, so maybe it's referring to the airplane window?
Also, was the "who is" intended to connect with the last line to mean "who is looking up at me imagining i'm a plane", or was it intended to stand on its own as a simple question of "who is?", or was it supposed to be "who it is" (like, who it is in the mirror)? This could just be me being silly, and poetry definitely doesn't have to be super clear xD but I feel like this poem would benefit from clarifying the meaning. For example, if I simply wanted "who is" (as in "who exists"), I might italicize those words and end the line with a period.

looking up at me imagining i’m a plane

I liked this ending a lot. For one, it connected beautifully to the beginning, and for another, it added to the theme of impossible desires. It's also so funky (in the best way) to imagine the narrator looking up/out, but someone else also looking up at them. AND I got the implication that the narrator is being compared to a star?? Like maybe someone's looking up at them, imagining stars are planes. Or, maybe that person is looking at the imagined plane of the narrator, then imagining that as a star, which starts the cycle of the poem all over again...

Overall, simply stellar work (heh). I hope you keep writing, and have a wonderful day/night! =D

Hey @adore, great work there! I just wanna pop in for some review. Don't mind me, I'm new here too ^^
I love the imagery here, It's so vivid! I feel the poem is about idolization and wanting to feel superior. The narrator starts with

looking up at a plane and pretending it’s a star.

I feel like the plane, expresses the fleeting moment- the fleeting imagination

looking out at the mirror and wondering who is,
looking up at me imagining i’m a plane

I love this line right here. The want to be idolized/adored, it is I think.

looking up at the star and imagining its

expansiveness,

I don't know if it was deliberate or a technical mistake. But I think, the gap line without finishing the whole sentence is a bit confusing. It can more clear like this,

looking up at the star and imagining its
expansiveness,

Except that, everything is very beautiful. I loved your work. And I look forward to see more of your work >.<