Published June 26, 2020
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139,347 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Such creative formatting! I love the variety of formatting tools / images you're using in this. The edges of the paper also give it an older feeling - which goes well with that final line "Never lost, just forgotten". Well done!
Oh, this is beautiful!
This poem is just amazingly beautiful! I love it times a million! I love your use of juxtapositions and the pictures you used in the background just fit in so well! The aesthetic is just so perfect, and it matches the poem. This poem tells a much larger story, one of youth and and how time goes one without even really putting emphasis on that, and how amazing finding something forgotten can be.
Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!
I wasn't expecting a review after this long. But I'm really glad you like it.
Hey zenith, Lee's here to review your poem!
Wow. It's amazing. i could go on and on about how the lines and illustrations are beautiful, but I'll begin with a couple of things I think you can improve.
I think there should be a "that" at the ending of the last line.
See, what you did here contradicts what follows. The whole image is that nothing is lost, and I can see why you chose to use the word "oblivion", but at the same you could have worded this line a little better. Maybe like this:
"As they seemed to drift into oblivion,
Lie hidden in my head."
For the next line, you could say, "Sleeping beneath the surface".
That way, two alliterations are made, as well as an assonance. However, this is completely up to you.
But you forgot about it, didn't you? How could you hope it would be there? It sounds just a little flimsy.
Okay, that's it. Otherwise it was a splendid poem. I loved reading it, it was short and very sweet. I actually liked literally every line other than the ones I pointed out!
Well, I hope you keep writing. Good luck!
- Lee
Thank you for the review.
1) Actually what I wanted to say in the clouds para is that even though the clouds drifted away and vanished gradually, the shapes are still there in my memory. But the way you said it is nice too.
2)Sleeping beneath the surface creates a better effect, totally agree.
3) In the last para, I wanted to portray that even though I didn't remember where I kept it, I still believed it was with me and in my possession. I should have worded it in a better manner though.
I'll keep the suggestions in my mind and glad that you liked it.
Oh, that makes sense. I was just expressing my thoughts, you don't need to take me seriously.
That is just such a stunningly beautiful poem. I loooovvee it!
Thank you soooo much!
Hello, hello! I'm here to review!
I do like the pictures you've used! They fit well, that's for sure. The third line of the poem is among my favorite, mostly because of the use of no man's land. Very nice! I like how each picture just about goes with each stanza, that each stanza has some unique way to its flow yet blends together.
Overall, I don't really have a critique. Others may though, but from what I can tell it seems fine!
- Cow
Thank you for appreciating my poem.
P.S. - I like your username. Cows are adorable and such nice creatures.
Aw! thank you! And i was glad to read your poem! And yes, those are one of the many reasons i decided on this username.
Hello there,
Poetry is not my strongest point, but I will try to make a decent review.
Okay, language is stunning. It is almost nostalgic. I can see all of this inside of my head because this is so well done. The images included are a little odd, but odd can be good and that's what i'm trying to push on.
It radiates youth in a way. The added aspect of future makes it dreamy, so that is sort of aged. It's strange, yet so normal. I think the way you wrote it made it so brilliant. I normally don't review poetry, but this made me rethink that.
The bold words draw eyes, but I think it would be a good idea to look over them again. I just think they might be used too much, but that is my idea because my poetry style is totally bland.
The closing line really was amazing too. The layout probably made this all it is. It's drifting, and I think that shows through the meaning.
Have a good day,
Haley.
Thank you for the review. As for the bold lines, I wanted to experiment a bit with the formatting and then decided to use it to focus on specific ideas. I'm glad that you liked the poem overall.