Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Okay, so these are a few verses. I really have no idea where I'm going with this. right now it's crap. :P I don't care too much for the first verse, which I'm not sure if I should rap or sing , but the rest will be rapped, most probably. The second verse for sure.
Anyways, tell me what you think. Some advice would be great because I don't want to throw this away, but I don't know how to change it. My inspiration died. :'(
Thanks! :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We're just teens
We make a scene
We don't care we just dream
We're not sorry, no regrets
Yeah full of crap and full of shit
We're stupid and young,
but that's just us...
No!
We've been quiet for too long
We've been looked down upon
We're torn and confused but that's just us
So accept it, accept it because it's the truth!
And the truth hurts and the truth is us
And you were a teen once...
Stop saying that we're ignorant
That we know nothing of the past
Because we know the future
We ARE the future!
And that's made to last!
We are who we are,
And who you are
Isn't gonna change.
No religion, clothes, or money
Can change you,
YOU,
Because you are an individual,
Yeah you are a teen.
We gotta stand UP,
People,
Stand UP!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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The Messenger Knight here to review for KotGR. And guess what: this is going to be my 300th review. Aren't you lucky? Probably not.
*Organizes himself for review.*
I really liked this. It is a good message about how teens really are important and do matter, and are the future. Thankfully I've never felt downed for being a teen, but this is still a beautiful message, and maybe there will be some teens feeling down who will read this and gt excited about it.
You really had energy in this song, and it really got me going. I don't remember if you said this was the full song or not, but I hope it isn't because I'd love to read some more. You punctuation looked pretty good.
Keep it up!
I feel honored. x3
Well, I wanted to write more, but I really wasn't sure how I should add on and stuff. >.< Oh well.
Thank you!
~ Wonder
Hi Wonder,DK here with review on your song lyric.
Since I do not know how to sing it and I think you left a note that is extremely cute, I'm willing to help as much as possible! XD
So, you do not need help here, I'm only able to give kudos and best lyricist award to you.
The lyrics are full of energy and that is indeed the epitome of an active teens and were 'less concerned' with things that do not interest them. More remarkable, though you support the extreme nature of youth, you could insert a passion for teenagers in the last verse.
So overall good job!
Kudos,cheers.
Hi! Just so you know I spent like five minutes watching your profile picture wiggle it's arm. lol
You're awesome!
Aww, thanks!
~ Wonder