Young Writers Society

Hey!

For starters, thanks a lot for bringing a huge smile to my face today. When I saw this post in the Green Room, I started grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat. You made my day <3 <3

I think there's a little glitch in this line, 'cause I didn't really get what you meant by "my thank you":

But I'm glad to accept my thank you, and I am TOTALLY gonna try and scare the life out of you the next chance I get!

Also in this line, I think it should be a comma not a period:

And yeah. you totally love my voice

And this is not wrong I guess, but I feel like it would be better if you phrased it like "But seriously, is there no drama?" instead of:

But there's seriously no drama?

Other than that, I found no errors.

I really like how you add to Amanda personality by using A LOT of capitals. (See what I did there? ) Anyway, I feel like it really shows her girly, easily excitable side, which contrasts itself with the dependable side that can keep her best friend's deadly.

I really enjoyed how she takes on an almost motherly tone at a point, berating him about his relationship status, or rather the lack of it.

I also think that adding the address was a nice touch. It gives a more lettery feel.

I also like this part:

And once again, I do NOT have a witch laugh!!!

When I read this line, I immediately imagined it phrased in the third person, saying that Amanda hotly declined having a witch laugh. That really made me laugh.

On the whole, I loved this story. Can't wait for the next letter.

Keep writing.

Hi WishIHadASword!

Mailice here with a short review!

I'm glad to see the letter series continues and you're also rewarded with two letters right away!

Let's start, I really liked that you continue to portray Amanda's character very well by making it seem like she's talking. The only flaw I noticed is the lack of smileys. They were a bit more present in the last letters, and now they are not here. I would definitely add them somewhere.

But I really like how you highlight some words where you can obviously tell that Amanda is (artificially) upset about some things or is making them bigger. Very convincing was when she lists at the beginning the school subjects where she is worse than Blake, because the list almost doesn't get to his end.

Maybe starting thinking about that.

Maybe starting thinking about that.
Blake, that is so sweet of you to remember my birthday!