“What an odd way to tailor a hat!” Elizabeth examined, her light brown eyes nearly falling to the floor as the young man wisped a needle through and within the hates stitches building a smaller, bunched up look to fit the young ladies head better. The brown felt synched in and the man re-assembled the black velvet to rim. He handed her the hat without speaking and merely looked up till she got the hint and passed him three shillings. Elizabeth nodded gaily and gracefully left the store placing the hat on her head satisfied with the results.
The London streets were bustling with grimy factory workers to high class aristocrats. Beth was more than happy to open her parasol and watch as people step out of her way. Her ruffled blue dress swung lightly and her heeled shoes clicked along the cobbled streets. Maggie her ladies maid walked a few steps behind as Beth chatted on about who was courting who, and who had rose scandal last London season and who would probably raise it this year.
“Lady Elizabeth Jayson!” Edward Smith shouted, he caught up with her along the street, tipping his hat to her and she reluctantly curtsied. She linked his arm with her and Maggie took a few more steps back.
“Must you disturb me wherever I am Eddy?” Beth teased; she battered her eyes and flipped the curl that hung loosely from the rest of the brown curls that rested a top her head.
“You know me only too well Lizzy, only I must ravage you wherever you are” His words were lightly held and Beth put on a shocked look.
“Do not talk to me in such a way Eddy! I am a lady. Not a…” She looked around eyeing a young laundry worker. They locked eyes and Elizabeth had her bate. “ I am not a laundry girl like that. She must have been with a dozen men by now!” She pointed at the girl who looked disgusted by her word but only rushed off knowing she couldn’t do anything about it. Was that a tear in the side of the girls eye? Good. Just the satisfaction she had been looking for.
“Lizzy dear! That was absolutely vulgar.” Edward gasped.
“And so easy.” Beth smiled, unlinking her arm from Edwards looking back to him as he stood in the middle of the street senselessly. She snapped her fingers and Maggie rushed up beside her. She turned about to walk away but stopped short turning back to him still standing there.
“Shall I expect you for dinner tonight Eddy?” She asked. He smiled joyfully tipping his hat to her. She curtsied.
“Of course my love. I’ll be there.”
"Bring me flowers.” And she and Maggie vanished in the crowds.
End of chapter
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137,592 Literary Works • 672,050 Reviews
Hey!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
Well, this was certainly a very interesting start here. It felt more like a short story to me because I honestly cannot see these characters assuming the role of protagonist. Or maybe that is the purpose of the story, introducing semi decent character and making them undertake a journey of self improvement? I am not very sure at this point in the story.
Beth at the most seems like a questionable character. She is rude and her behavior towards the laundry girl was not acceptable. However, she seems to derive satisfaction from the innocent girl's tears which really makes me wonder about the kind of person she is. She has this air of certainty about her and carries herself in a way that seems to suggest she is bigger than everybody out in the world. The way she interacted with Edward also seems to suggest that she has him wrapped around her little finger. On one side, I do not really like her. And on the other, I can't help but think that we have a mildly complex character here.
Edward seems to be all talk and no action. He is flirty and impressionable. I feel like he was surprised by Beth's behavior towards the girl, but he did not have it in himself to question neither her nor his own character. He seems to be enamored with her as he breaks out of his thoughts the moment the moments she asks him about dinner and moves on with his life as if nothing had happened.
I am really curios about the title of this story - submission. Whose submission? At this point, it could mean anything.
Overall, this was a good start. You have introduced your characters well and given us a glimpse of who they are. I am curios about where you will take this.
Keep writing and have a great day!
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Okay...well, this is a very interesting start to a chapter here...I'm really wondering exactly who these characters are meant to be, cause they don't seem very likeable in the first impression, but still appear to be the main characters. The chapter does do a fairly effective job of introducing their personalities and the setting though.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...that's a very interesting scene there to start with, certainly makes you take notice, cause it isn't everyday that you see a story starting with a scene of someone tailoring a hat or I suppose in this case, this person is just adjusting the fit of the hat. I do wonder exactly what this is meant to convey though, cause it is fairly random here. At any rate, its an interesting start here.
Okay...well, it looks like this whole first part is simply meant to be a sort of introduction to the world and it all appears to just be a regular ol' day in this world. That's always a fairly solid starting point, so this opening is going fairly well here.
Well...that's an interesting conversation opener there, although it does establish the sort of relationship that these two potentially share here...so that's a plus. Aaand well, that's a fun little way to cement the sort of setting we've got going on here too.
Okayy...well I hope these two aren't going to be the main characters cause I know I already hate this lady person...that was definitely a terrible thing for someone to do there...and well her personality is made crystal clear from that interaction..and its not a very nice one from the looks of things.
Well, yeah...so this Edward either is simply trying to impress this lady or...is also much the same, it is hard to judge his character quite this early but...well at any rate...these two are an interesting couple here to get this story started.
Well that was a rather short conversation that barely went anywhere useful...it looks like Edward had no real thing to talk about...at all..it was Elizabeth's idea for the whole dinner thing too...soo..well while it makes sense that Edward would talk just cause he saw her, I feel like there was barely anything of substance in this conversation. It did still bring across their personalities and the relationship they share though, so it is still a decent start here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall this is definitely a pretty interesting start to a story here...it manages to do a pretty good job in that department, and I am interested enough that I'd potentially continue reading.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry