"i...don't know. my head led me here, so here I am. I just forgot that you were here..."
The forest became dark and smoky from all the carbon dioxide. the Brown bear found its way out from all the tree carcasses and into the depths of his own mind. I never imagined ever running into him for real. it was always just a fake scenario created in my mind after thinking and crying about him for hours.
Bumping into him on a corner in a little street market just outside of Spokane, Washington flared all my dreams and memories and fantasies back to real life and into real-time. I almost collapsed when he talked to me. the color drained from my face and the emotion from his.
"Lahmia..? why are you here? we agreed to-"
"This was accidental, I never meant to interrupt your life. it just happened."
the brown bear had a ray of hope and it got him to his mother, but as the world seems to want to set everyone's happiness ablaze they were trapped. Metaphors upon metaphors in both of their minds, he was the brown bear, that was their connection. A little stuffed bear she sent him on his 16th birthday because he lived 2000 miles away. the plush bear was now in charred pieces in a sad little shoebox under his bed in an apartment with his girlfriend.
I felt so lost yet I wanted to kiss him so badly, yet I knew that he would never love me again. he was my first love, my everything and that was all thrown away those 5 or ten years ago. he hadn't aged a day since the passing of the relationship he was frozen in time like petrified sap.
- I saw her standing there but I had no feelings everything was grey and smokey just like the air after a Forrest had burned to ashes. I tried to feel something but nothing came, I saw her there I could see how broken she was; she was just as gorgeous probably even more than those few years ago when we were weary teenagers. the memories flashed into my head all of the "I love yous" and the time she made me so mad I cried, all I felt now was anger. nothing either of us did lead to this. I broke up with her, why am I mad at her all we did was talk and love each other from 2000 miles away she was my first love my desire.
"we agreed not to talk or to see each other ever again... remember?"
"all too much."
his eyes shifted to the flowers, which he quickly shoved behind his back to try to prevent another conversation ending in tears. I didn't say anything I just stood there and watched. I died a little more that day. I didn't even know that was possible. his brown eyes pierced through my chest; he always had an obsession with my breasts, even though at the time we were just horny teenagers. except he was staring at them. he was staring at my heart at a spiritual level scanning to find some reason why I was there and tormenting him.
momma bear and little brown bear stuck in a forest all alone, but little brown bear had no momma. it was all a figment of his imagination since she died long before he could know her. Brown bear was raised among older cubs who treated him like a toy. beaten and gashed he grew up with no real love.