Looking Down

This is amazing! Firstly, 6 likes and still in the green room is abnormal, and secondly, you have only been on since the 22nd!
The rhyme scheme works extremely well, and I can't find any forced rhymes at all. You do have a couple of half rhymes, but that's fine.
The rhythm is uniform and perfect, impossible to fault. Really good work here.
My favorite bit was
"And so the man walked along,
Still looking only down.
And he couldn't see the sunrise
For staring at the ground."
This line was perfect, and it does exactly what a last line should do, it sums up the poem, and adds a brilliant twist!
The only way I could suggest improvement is to separate it into into verses. (other people call them stanzas.) This would make sure the reader doesn't get "lost" in the poem, and would highlight the rhyming and rhythm.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Hey, really good poem! don't know much about poetry, but that was really pretty. Makes me think about my life.

I love the concept of this poem as well as the style. It's well worded and gives a good lesson. Very well done, I loved it.

This is vaguely reminiscent of "The Road Less Traveled By," which you may or may not have heard of, but it is one of the most quoted poems out there.

You have a good combination of words and rhymes that keep the poem interesting and descriptive, painting some vivid pictures of what is happening. It's easy to follow, and flows well, and you also have a lot of really good points in here.

"But he was staring at the ground,

Consumed with lonely woe,

Thinking he must have gotten lost

As he wondered to and fro."

This was the first point where I was waiting for him to look up.

"Believing that the many birds

Chirping in the trees

Were surely laughing at his sorrow,

Not singing in the breeze."

I like this alliteration of the birds laughing at him. It really exemplifies and expounds upon what must be going through his head, without you having to explain it all bluntly. A few short sentences tell an entire story, and this is what makes poetry, and poetic writing so great.

"And so the man walked along,

Still looking only down.

And he couldn’t see the sunrise

For staring at the ground."

And, of course, the "ba-dum-bum" at the end to tie it all together and give the moral. This applies to reality a lot, and not just in a figurative sense. I see a lot of people always looking at the ground, consumed with their own selfish woes, convinced that the world is a terrible place, when all they have to do is look up and see that somebody is waving. To easy, I guess.

You've really created a solid piece of work which is a great representation not only of classic free verse poetry, but also classic poetry in the whole. Very good job!

Thank you WallFlower!