z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Notorious RBG

by Riverlight


Notorious RBG:

You are remembered.

We can never forget,

we can never live up to

your memory,

-

Eighty-seven years

is more than we deserve,

and yet it is not long enough--

your work is unfinished,

we are not worthy

to take it up.

-

You protected our rights,

preserved them,

held them with honor.

Frontiero v. Richardson
came first, but was not the last.
-
You lost one battle but won the war.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg,
we will miss you forever.


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125 Reviews


Points: 10344
Reviews: 125

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Mon Sep 28, 2020 11:14 am
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ChrisCalaid wrote a review...



Hey, Vil! Just saw this and thought to give it a review. I don't know much about RBG and I'm just learned about him a few seconds ago, but I would like to give you a few suggestions before we go off to the next chapter of our lives.

I feel like you should add a few stanzas for this poem. I usually don't like to talk about those things, but I would just love it if you explained more about him! It is quite a beautiful poem and I thought maybe you could add off a bit more just for the flavor of reading this wonderful piece of poem. And of explaining more about RBG for those who don't know him or haven't even hear of him, as I.

I just love how you write this, it is well written and no one could deny the respect inside this poem. And the title simple but a way to start a poem! With a few words title of so much meaning to those who know and respect RBG! It is truly a poem I wish I could write about my favorite poets and authors.

Thought it is well written, we all have suggestions, alright? So don't you feel bad about the days you get a critique including Chris' amazing review! Never mind, just joking.

You protected our rights,
preserved them,
held them with honor.
Frontiero v. Richardson
came first, but was not the last.


You don't necessarily need a comma after "first". It might be better without it since it doesn't have any specific rhyme and it doesn't have anything to do with the beat of a song or so.

Yup, that's all for today.

Have a splendid day!
Happy RevMo!

Keep up the beautiful writings!

Yours,
Chris




Riverlight says...


her*

Thanks for your review!



ChrisCalaid says...


You're foremost welcome!



Soccer23 says...


One thing I laughed at, Chris: "Hey, Vil! Just saw this and thought to give it a review. I don't know much about RBG and I'm just learned about him a few seconds ago,"

One: RBG is a girl, not a boy. XD
Two: I'm a little surprised you haven't heard of her, but cool you know now. That's all.



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84 Reviews


Points: 5221
Reviews: 84

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Wed Sep 23, 2020 12:27 am
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Icon wrote a review...



Howdy, Vil!

As a large fan of RBG's work, and as someone who lives in an all-ladies household, this poem is pretty much hitting home. However, I am going to do my best to put my many, many feelings aside and objectively review your work.

First and foremost, I liked this poem! It is straightforward, and doesn't hide its message behind any metaphors or flowery language, not unlike The Notorious RBG herself. The flow is a little clunky, though. The work doesn't have a rhyme scheme, so having a meter isn't really expected, but something about the reading experience still felt... off. It's hard to explain, but it's definitely prevalent. There isn't a lot I can really critique, but I hope this was helpful nonetheless.

Have a great day and a wonderful #RevMo !

-Connie




Riverlight says...


Thanks for the review.

Yeah-- thought I'd take a swing at freelance writing instead of my usual stuff. :P



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Points: 0
Reviews: 112

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Wed Sep 23, 2020 12:18 am
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SpunkyMonkey wrote a review...



Hey Vil!

This is a heart-wrenching poem, and it almost makes me want to cry. From how you write, its as if you knew Ruth Ginsburg. I especially like the line,

"your work is unfinished, we are not worthy to take it up"

Although, personally, I don't like Ruth Ginsburg this poem was very well written. Keep it up!

Spunkyspacekitty out!

P.S. congrats on the three stars!




Riverlight says...


Thanks for the review, and thank you for your congratulations!




"Come quickly, I am drinking the stars!"
— Dom PĂ©rignon