Young Writers Society

Hello, Steggy here for a short review!

I would first like to say, welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy it here and if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask. ^^

I like this poem because you don't spell out what the craft you hold for the reader but instead give little hints to what it may be. There are some poems like this one but you seem to write about your own experience and often times poems lack that. When I read the first stanza, I was intrigued as to what you were talking about because you seem to say that the craft you make is your life. Another thing I like about your poem is the rhyming scheme. To me, the rhyming scheme is like description, it gives a beat for the reader to have when they read a poem. Although you have a faint rhyming scheme, it would be nice to have it throughout the entire poem or else it will feel jolted.

There are those who express themselves with paint,

but I must confess I don't possess that trait.

to tell a story using images, without a single blemish

is proof of truth and diligence, from beginning to the finish.

I wreite about my feelings or I talk about my agony.

Hello Ulysses! A warm welcome to YWS.

I like the idea of writing a poem about poetry, but to do so I feel like you have to carry it out precisely, especially in the format you have it in. Rhyme schemes are always hard to deal with if you want it to be tight and neat- you always end up with either slant rhymes or lines that aren't exactly what you mean them to be. For me, writing poems with set rhymes takes a lot of tinkering, and I often just repeat the word over and over again, adding a different letter to the beginning until I find one that fits. You have a pretty good start, but I think you could take it further with a bit of work.

First of all, you compare the writing to something Shakespearian. It does remind me of a sonnet, with your television lines and rhymes, but if you were going for that, you might want to note that the rhyme scheme of sonnets is a bit different, and there is often a set meter to the lines (usually 10 syllables) so you might want to add that as well (that is, of course, if you were going for a Shakespearoan style. If not, then it's more a matter of how you want things to come across personally).

For me, your rhymes seem a bit weak after the first set. They're all really close, but they're just a bit off. This is where the tinkering comes in! For example:

There are those who express themselves with paint,
but I must confess I don't possess that trait.

But everything I've tried, I've felt quite faint

There are those who can paint, but I confess
That those are traits I do not posess.

There are those who paint to express,
But I must confess, those are traits I don't posess

Hi Ulysses--Princess Ink is here with a review

What I liked best about your poem was the method you expressed your feelings about writing: especially why this is your craft. I also liked the fact that it rhymed--I have had always enjoyed rhyming poems.

In the first two lines,
[quote]
My form of art, my craft, is all I have in life.

It gives me the opportunity to document my strife.
[\quote]

I felt that the "strife" in the second line was rather awkward, as if it was forced.

Your fourth line used nice alliteration.

But the fifth and sixth line were kind of unnecessary for the poem. I think the poem would still be good without those lines.
[quote]
My gift is forming letters, words, and paragraphs expertly

into comprehensive poems I created logically.
[\quote]

The logically...well... it feels a bit strange in the poem.

Other than that, I enjoyed your poem very much, especially with many of your choice of words like "my gift" or "tell a story using images, without a single blemish", so keep writing more verses! I hope I wasn't too harsh.

Sincerely,

Princess Ink.