Thoughts are a rainbow, feelings are a spectrum.
Blue for wideness and calmness:
The sea and the sky.
Beautiful, never ending, spacious.
Red for danger and warning:
Poppies swaying in a graveyard.
Memories awakened, thoughts disturbed.
Yellow for warmth and happiness:
Sunshine and marigolds.
Content, well-being, security.
Black for mystery and possibilty:
Night and dark corners.
Could be, would be, maybe.
White for newness and beginning:
A blank page unmarked by pen or ink.
Waiting for life to leave its calling card.
Green for all things living and breathing:
Buds on branches and crocus shoots.
Awakening, quickening, becoming.
- - - -
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Canary word: Present
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125,010 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
I, for one, enjoyed it very much.
I don't wish to discredit anyone's opinion, merely to state my own. It was nice and easy to read, without awkward stumbles. The rainbow of color and emotion was fresh and interesting, and I'm sure no seven-year-old could come up with it, particularly the white stanza. I liked that one especially. Good job!
All the best,
Goldie
Thank you very much. Where else was I to put it? Its not meant to be un-cliched, its my own colour-code that links certain colours with certain emotions. Maybe I wasn't clear enough.
-ShadowTwit
ShadowTwit,
Is this an English class assignment? It reads like a homework project that is supposed to delve into poetry but fails on more than one account.
It features include cliched descriptions and pairings that seven year olds could make. "Red for danger and warning"? Come on--I think I saw that in a Driver's Education handbook.
Your understanding of what makes an effective line is non-existent as well: enjambment, imagery and metaphor seem to be lacking on the whole.
The title is the only thing that could survive an edit.
Best,
Brad