The Tree

Hi Trelose, I'm Nymeria. I'd like to give a review for this lovely work.

I love the rhyming. I know poems don't have to rhyme, but I always love it when they do. The rhyming is nice and consistent and flows well. As an outdoors-y person, I love the setting of this poem. I like how the tree is just a tree, but also a character that is stubborn and strong.

I'm not sure if this poem would be better with stanzas or without. They might make it a little easier to read, and separates ideas.

"And leaves were verdent as could be" ~ You could take out AND, also it's spelled verdant

"A mountain nearby, steep and sound" ~ Seems kind of irrelevant? You already said the tree was in the mountains. Also steep and sound kind of contradict. You might say 'steep yet sound' or something.

"Tragedy encompassed the breadth" ~ Rhyming breath with breadth sounds a little weird.

"Being blown about and tossed around" ~ Maybe shorten this to make it smoother.

"And never made a weakened sound" ~ Taking out weakened would read better.

"Bringing about unprovoked wrath" ~ You might take out about.

"Soon, the storm gave way to mercy" ~ No comma needed. Also you could just say 'soon the storm gave mercy'.

"though we see without clarity" ~ An awkward length compared to the rest of the poem. You might lengthen it and add the word often or something.

The last line also doesn't need a comma.

Overall awesome poem! Feel free to take my suggestions or leave them. Keep up the good work!

~ Nymeria

Hello, Trelose! I'm gxldencrxwns, here for a review. My words will have a ^ next to it.






In the mountains there was a tree

Its roots planted deep in the ground

^ Okay since there's no separation in this poem, I'll review it every two lines. To begin, I'd suggest using stanzas or separating Avery couple line as it goes on. But it was introduced well.


And leaves were verdent as could be

A mountain nearby, steep and sound

^ I can see that this poem is going to be about nature, which I really enjoy. You written the theme of it very easily for the reader, which is good.


Down the path, clouds of Satan's breath

Invaded the peaceful, small plain

^ So now I'm guessing a storm is coming. I like how you described the storm clouds as "Satan's breath." I thought that was pretty funny.


Tragedy encompassed the breadth

And the sadness poured its old taint

^ These two line confused me a bit. You're describing a storm going on, right? It sounds like a War just ended, you described it too depressing to be just a storm. Did someone, or something die? That would be understandable, then.


The tree held its ground in the wind

Being blown about and tossed around

^ Oh, so a tornado is happening! Okay, I'm cleared up about everything now.


Though challenged, the tree did not bend

And never made a weakened sound

^ I like that you're describing the tree as very strong in the storm. I like that.


The storm raged and thunder growled fierce

Bringing about unprovoked wrath

^ Not much to say about this.


The tree's resolve was never pierced

As the storm climbed the winding path

^ Again, not much to say

.
Soon, the storm gave way to mercy

And the rain brought about new life

though we see without clarity

Sometimes, we grow through our own strife


I'm gonna end the review here because I'm starting to repeat myself. Overall, I like the plot of the poem, which was handled and worded well. You didn't use fancy words and sentences, yet it sounded very professional. Although, I would suggest separating every two or three lines to make separate stanzas, it makes the poem easier to follow.

Keep writing!
~gxldencrxwns