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There is a Bullet on my Bedside Table

by Toto25

There is a bullet on my bedside table.

Taunting me,

questioning my sanity.

The dim brass feels too powerful,

beneath my shaking fingers.

It’s presence too large

for life.

Sitting next to discarded earrings

displayed like a jewel.

The chilled metal too warped

for beauty.

There is a bullet on my bedside table.

Searching me,

finding a hidden death wish.

Reflecting all of my fears,

glinting in the low light.

Heavier on my palm than what I

would have thought.

I do not know how it appeared

on my night stand.

But I do know what it feels like to hold,

a choice in your hand.

There is a bullet on my bedside table…

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416 Reviews

Points: 66168
Reviews: 416

Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:17 am
Tuckster says...

Just dropping by to say this is a really well-written poem and I enjoyed reading it. It really captured what it's like to struggle with suicidal ideation quite well, in my opinion, and I hope you keep writing!

I do want to note that if you are struggling with suicidal ideation I'd encourage you to talk to someone about it. I know it can be weird to open up to a stranger, but as someone who's struggled with it too, I'd love to talk with you about it if you're willing. Talking it out, even just with friends, has really helped me work through it.

Hope this helps!

Random avatar

Points: 44
Reviews: 7

Mon Oct 28, 2019 2:56 am
itsmejr wrote a review...

I love how descriptive this poem is and how well the poem is structured l. It flows so well. I particularly liked the line
"The chilled metal too warped for beauty"
My interpretation of it being that the bullet is to distorted to be beautiful in the normal sense but is still enchanting in a way, much like death.

I also love the last stanza

"I do not know how it appeared
on my night stand.
But I do know how it feels like to hold,
A choice in your hand."

The option is there. An easy way out. But the choice is still something that takes alot of thought. And that choice is heavy.

Again, I really liked this, even though it's a little on the dark side. Keep writing!

😊 - j.r

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40 Reviews

Points: 51
Reviews: 40

Sun Oct 27, 2019 3:29 am
Anamel wrote a review...

The descriptions you give paint the picture clearly in my mind. The brass, the chilled metal, the earrings, how it glints in the light. I'm not sure why, but it kind of gives me a vintage old-timey vibe like sometime between the mid-1900s to the late 20th century. I also like your usage of repetition at the end, it shows how the narrator still doesn't know what choice they're gonna make, if any at all. It gives off a sense of being lost and dazed, or jaded maybe. As for critiques, I thought that the third stanza(the one with seven lines) was a bit out of place and kind of disturbed the order of the rest of the poem.

I suppose I feel this way due to it being the longest, however it isn't too ill-placed considering it is in the middle. Also, in the second stanza when you say, 'it's presence too large for life' it would be its instead of it's. Just a simple mistake there. Otherwise, I can't seem to find anything else to critique. I thought this was a nice read despite how it's dark. Keep writing :)

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26 Reviews

Points: 1150
Reviews: 26

Sun Oct 27, 2019 1:41 am
Toto25 says...

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68 Reviews

Points: 1444
Reviews: 68

Sat Oct 26, 2019 11:35 pm
dahlia58 wrote a review...

Please correct me if I'm wrong...But this poem sounds like a description of suicidal tendencies. Either that, or the speaker is planning to murder someone else. Indeed, having to choice between life and death does take a toll on one's sanity...I especially find the line "The chilled metal too warped for beauty" powerful. This is just my interpretation, but I feel it's criticizing how the mainstream tend to "romanticize" suicidal mindsets.

The stanza structure of this poem is also well-organized. I enjoyed reading it.

Toto25 says...

You have it spot on. It's about the struggle with suicidal ideation, and not trusting your own mind in those moments.

dahlia58 says...

This is a powerful work^^
Please do write more.

Do. Or do not. There is no try.
— Yoda