Another Anthology of poems! This time in the theme of the color blue. Feel free to review one, two, or all five of them! Or just read, it’s up to you.
Gentle Azure
Ah, a breeze, a zephyr,
A cool sensation; can you feel it near?
Kids playing in the sand,
Adults bathing in the sun; truly, a Caucasian sight.
Who would’ve thought,
That a scorching sunny day,
Would make people say: Wow, let’s go outside!
Even still, under this parasol,
I’ll take a sip and cheer,
To this gentle breeze near.
Even still, under this parasol,
I’ll laugh and play,
With you, my friend, ‘til the sun sets away.
Blooming Forget-me-nots
Time to depart.
I must say, I never really got “Goodbyes.”
“Why are they so sad?” I thought.
“It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.” I thought.
Then again, now that I’m here,
As nothing more than a spirit without veneer,
I realized.
I realized that,
“Goodbyes” aren’t sad.
No, what makes them sad,
Is that I won’t ever get a chance,
To say “Hello” again.
So, as I depart,
Let me pick some of these blooms,
Give them to you,
And even if you remember me not,
You must forget me not.
Iridescent Turquoise
Like a lilac in bloom,
Like a lily in water,
All things have orders,
They cycle this wheel.
Yet we measly humans,
Try to change that very appeal.
Life is valuable because it’s short,
Life is worth protecting because it ends,
From dust to life to dust again,
We are nothing more than twinkling stars,
Scintillating in the sky just to fade again.
We are nothing more than blue rocks on the ground,
Longing for hope and protection in this finite world.
Tenebrous Navy
Deep, vast, dark.
Hollow, cold, lovecraftian.
Yet, it’s the place we came from.
The vast navy we were concealed in,
It still provides; long after its habitation.
Though ridiculed into nothing more than summertime playgrounds,
There's much left to explore.
Yes, deep, vast, dark.
But also,
Serene, calm, motherly.
Wise, mesmerizing, boundless.
Vast Cerulean
Oh how I’ve seen,
Things change; in ways that’ve never been.
I cried and tried: desperate,
Fell, binded, confined; Desolate.
Flew too close to the sun,
Now over the realms I went.
Guarding the most important thing to me,
I shall greet you when time comes to be.
Look upon the vast expanding horizon,
Let’s watch together, make memories to write on paper.
Look upon the vermillion sunset,
Iridescent, ever glowing shall we be the day we met.
Look upon the cerulean skies,
Remember that, we’re all stars in the sky up high.
Oh how you’ll see,
The times change; yet they’ll remain the same.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,268 Literary Works • 673,077 Reviews
Hey, it's Serrurie, here to leave a review! Let's dive in:
The Good Stuff
For Gentle Azure
- This poem has a lighthearted feel (which is appreciated since most poems on here are filled with grief/sadness)
- You have some unique vocabulary ('zephyr', 'caucasian')
- This poem was overall just nice and sweet
For Blooming Forget Me-Nots
- This one brings in a common element of grief, but it still feels lighthearted and feels 'sunny' because of the flower element.
-This one explores the character more (i.e their feelings about goodbye)
-It feels like a continuation of the first poem due to the fact that 'Gentle Azure' was about staying with each other and this one is about leaving
For Iridescent Turquoise
- This feels like a continuation of the last two because it's reflecting on how precious life is
- I like when poems have a dull sort of grief or just no strong emotion in particular. It's like you can tell it's negative but there isn't anything horrible specifically happening. That's how this poem felt, and I liked it.
For Tenebrous Navy
- This one feels really nostalgic. It feels like we've visited the happy atmosphere of the first poem but it's suddenly become darker.
- This also feels a bit fantasy. It gives off a lot of worldbuilding (which I enjoyed a lot)
For Vast Cerulean
- This one feels like the character is looking back on all the other poems, tying everything together.
- You've layered the emotions in this, and I can read grief, bittersweet love, and a tinge of happiness in it.
- I like all of the different color descriptions.
- This was a great group of poems and I loved the story behind it all! I'll definitely be reading anything else that you come up with.
-I also really liked the cover (you have a great art style!)
Happy writing!
Serrurie
Omg thank you so much for your kind words!!! I really appreciate it all, and what a beautiful job analyzing each one.
Hi Toastk!
I love this anthology of poems! The blue theme fits so well for each of them. It's so hard choosing a favorite out of these. They're all so good! Honestly, though, I think my favorite poem is "Vast Cerulean." But they are all beautiful! I especially love the rhyming in each of them. I also like how each poem conveys a different emotion. It shows how someone can interpret the color in different ways.
I have one small critique. There are certain words/phrases that could be cut out from these poems to make it flow better. I will strike them out below to give you a visual aid.
Gentle Azure
Not a strikeout, but the first word should be capitalized to match the other lines.
Tenebrous Navy
I think the words I striked out are filler words, so removing them makes the poems feel sharper and flow better. But you don't have to follow them if you liked them the way they are!
Overall, I enjoyed reading these poems immensely. You are very clever with the rhyming and the way you shape the poetry around a single, simple, theme. Well done!
Thank you so much for your review! I%u2019m glad you enjoyed it! After reading your review, I realized that there certainly are some filler words that could do with being be removed.
AHHH! The poem "Blooming Forget-me-nots" was beauttttifullllll. The ending, the goodbyes and hellos? Ah! Too beautiful! Too good! And goodness, your way of rhyming is awesome you do it very well honestly you do everything so well these are all beautiful!!