z
  • Home

Young Writers Society

The Gift Giving Day Begins In...

[ Click here for more info ]



Blooming Crimson

by ToastK


Blooming Crimson Collection

This is an anthology of poetry from ‘Blooming Crimson’, a story that I haven’t finished writing, but wrote these poems to better structure the story.

Blooming Rose

A petal a bloom, fluttering

A thorn a garden, a showing.

Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m ridiculous,

But when I see the wind create drifts and stirs in between,

Carrying petals and leaves along,

It reminds me.

It reminds me of you.

A sharp vine, crawling.

A sneak inside a garden.

The grass accentuate, no they illuminate,

Your bright hue, violent like blood, yet romantic as love,

Burning with unwavering spikes.

You can rest now, though.

You can rest knowing I remember, and won’t forget.


Blooming Vermilion 

As I look up, up above the vermilion sky,

I see a sea.

Then feel.

Then realize.

I realize a thing that aches my heart.

A memory I buried deep inside, to abyss.

It comes out.

It taunts.

It squeezes.

Though my emotions have been squeezed dry,

Though my heart can no longer cry,

I’ll still remember.

Maybe even reminisce.

I’ll look back, not with sorrow, but with longing.

A smile that fades into the sky, tainted,

By the color of sunset.


Blooming Amaranth

When time comes,

We’ll meet again.

When the wind blows,

We’ll see each other.

Not eye to eye, as we’re split apart by the styx and thames,

But shadow to shadow,

As I cherish the knicks that remain,

As I cherish the knacks you’ve made.

I’ll remember you,

Holding the ironic amaranth you gave.

I’ll remember you,

Holding a one way ticket, to your side.


Blooming Scarlet

The sky, engulfed in ebony black,

The ground, searing with flare,

People still seem to think

That overcoming is of choice.

It isn’t in fact.

The mere one in a hundred

Those seven-and-sixties repeat

That they think and deem easy,

Yet they barely know,

That fate has been sealed in destiny.

That fate was a bridge long burned down.

That fate has already long gone.

Sealed with a scarlet stamp.


Blooming Crimson

Cats chase and chase,

Creating chaos creatively.

I watch these felines.

Caught up, catering to the scene.

I concur, I concede.

The crimson flower that fell,

From a vase, could cause,

A heartache long forgotten.

Can I even call,

Out casting my voice,

Even though I’ve long

Ceased to remember how you look.

I look upon the cats constantly,

Seizing to forget, ceasing to think.

Distractions, confine.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
48 Reviews

Points: 958
Reviews: 48

Donate
Mon Jan 13, 2025 6:42 am
View Likes
Avian says...



you know i think we may have had similar connotations for crimson and amaranth. :eyes: also these poems are beautiful, toast!! i've always loved poems about color and their associations. also, i haven't read many emily dickinson poems, but from what i have read, your poetry reminded me of hers while i was reading.




User avatar
685 Reviews

Points: 67730
Reviews: 685

Donate
Fri Jul 05, 2024 12:36 am
View Likes
EllieMae wrote a review...



Hi there, friend! Ellie here to review this fantastic collection of poems :D Let's get right into it!

Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m ridiculous,

But when I see the wind create drifts and stirs in between,

Carrying petals and leaves along,

It reminds me.

It reminds me of you.


Oh wow, this is incredibly beautiful! The repetition of the last line was a perfect touch. To me it feels like little rocks skipping on a pond, the repetition dies out, but still feels magical. The narrative feel you give us, stating that maybe it is you being ridiculous, allows me to relate very hard and fast too.

Though my emotions have been squeezed dry,

Though my heart can no longer cry,

I’ll still remember.

Maybe even reminisce.

I’ll look back, not with sorrow, but with longing.

A smile that fades into the sky, tainted,

By the color of sunset.


You just took everything I have been feeling the last few weeks and put it in to words. Finally. Your words are beautiful and direct, but also not too specific, that we can still interpret this and make it relevant to our own lives. You touch so well (in my opinion) on what it feels to reflect on trauma and loneliness and loss. Those last lines about the sunset were beautiful and brought me a strong sense of closure in the moment.

Cats chase and chase,

Creating chaos creatively.


and here:

Caught up, catering to the scene.

I concur, I concede.

The crimson flower that fell,


Wow, the alliteration is fantastic! That whole last poem was incredible and your choice of words was outstanding. *standing ovation*

Overall, beautiful beyond words, but somehow you found the words. I cant wait to read more soon. I loved this <33

Your friend,
Ellie

Image




ToastK says...


Thank you so much for your wonderful review Ellie! I really appreciated that you noticed and enjoyed the alliterations in the last part! I tried to add as much variation into each poems to give them each a breathe of fresh air despite them all being somewhat related. Keep on reviewing and happy poetry! (idk what this means, its just cool to say i guess lol)



User avatar
26 Reviews

Points: 2737
Reviews: 26

Donate
Fri Jun 07, 2024 3:45 pm
View Likes
NoOneInParticular wrote a review...



Hello! I’m NoOneInParticular, but that’s too long, so you can just call me Horizon (or just about any name really). Just thought I’d drop by and leave a quick review! Please bear with me for just this moment, alright?

I like how all your poems are titled after shades of red, it connects them really nicely and gives it a sense of love and longing, how red can be both beautiful and terrifying, if that even makes sense.

Blooming Rose

And we start off with the speaker already missing the one they lost. You vividly show the idea of seeing an object that you can’t help but associate with your loved one, which in this case is the red hues of a rose. The comparison to a rose, a flower that is the symbol of love yet is covered in thorns, describes the theme so well.

Your bright hue, violent like blood, yet romantic as love,

Burning with unwavering spikes.


This is my favourite part, as it shows the all passion and energy that’s the colour red has. “Burning with unwavering spikes” is just beautifully illustrated.

Blooming Vermillion

And now we’re getting to the heartbreak and grief from that loss. The speaker is struck with memories that they buried and tried to forget. The personification fo the memories, how “It taunts”, “It squeezes”, really conveys the how uncontrollable and suffocating it feels, the way your mind just a constantly reminds you what’s been lost.

Though my emotions have been squeezed dry,

Though my heart can no longer cry,

I’ll still remember.

Maybe even reminisce.


I quite like this part. The speaker has already cried until they had no tears left to give, but they’re still trying not to let it affect the happy memory they have of their loved one.

Blooming Amaranth

The speaker just waiting to join their loved on on the other side. It feels very calm and resigned, like there’s nothing they can do but wait. The line “Not eye to eye, as we’re split apart by the styx and thames” feels particularly hopeless. The styx is a river leading to the underworld, while the thames is a normal, existing river (as far as I can tell), which implies that they can’t truly see each other, that they’re as separated as a river in myth and a river in real life.

(Does that make sense? I should stop treating this like my literature assignment)

I’ll remember you,

Holding the ironic amaranth you gave.

I’ll remember you,

Holding a one way ticket, to your side


I did go online and search the meaning of an amaranth, and ooh. The irony of giving a flower that symbolises immortality and undying, only to die soon after…just wow. I never really thought is it that way, but presenting death as a “one way ticket” just makes sense and adds to that feeling of resignation.

Blooming Scarlet

That moment when you think the world is against you, the moment you realise that there was nothing you could do to bring the one you lost back. I loved the imagery in this part, it kind of feels like the world is exploding (?).

That fate has been sealed in destiny.

That fate was a bridge long burned down.

That fate has already long gone.

Sealed with a scarlet stamp.


I enjoyed reading this part a lot. The progression is very natural, and the conclusion feels satisfying. The various analogies gives the impression of what’s gone is gone, and the “sealed with a scarlet stamp” feels especially mocking, like fate has personally sealed away the speaker’s loved one.

I do have a question though.

The mere one in a hundred

Those seven-and-sixties repeat

That they think and deem easy,


I don’t really get this part. Is it somehow related to your story? I felt very confused and it kind of affected the reading of the poem for me.

Blooming Crimson

And now the speaker is stuck trying to distract themself from the grief. The idea of watching cats, energetic and lively, to distract yourself from the loss of a life, feels very ironic.

Even though I’ve long

Ceased to remember how you look.

I look upon the cats constantly,

Seizing to forget, ceasing to think.


This just feels so sad. It seems like so much time has passed that the speaker has forgotten their loved one, and is only left with hazy memories. It feels like the speaker no longer wants to remember the pain, and chooses to simply not think about it.

Overall Thoughts

All in all, beautifully written poems that showcase the heartbreak and loss you feel when losing someone you love. I know this doesn’t really go that in depth, but honestly my tired brain just doesn’t feel like it (I hope you don’t mind??). Keep writing, and remember to take breaks when needed! Have a nice day/night/somehow you don’t know because it’s sunrise or sunset?

I’ll stop now.

Cheers,
Horizon

Edit: OH SHOOT I realised I somehow skipped over two whole poems, so I added them in.




ToastK says...


omg thank you for such an amazing review horizon!
As for the blooming scarlet, the imagery was of a building burning down (I have not really written anything for the actual story yet, but your analysis was on point!)
Also, the line
mere one in a hundred
those seven and sixties repeat
that they think and deem easy
could be quite confusing as it is a pretty old way of saying age.
seven and sixties basically means sixty seven year olds(boomers) and the part you were confused on is basically same something like:
Those boomers say that luck is all you need these days, saying that overcoming is doable by yourself and it is easy

However, the poem heavily disagrees with this saying that overcoming isnt a matter of luck or skill, but something that fate chooses and allows instead, hence the letter being sealed with a scarlet stamp by fate.
Hopefully this cleared things up a bit. And also, have a wonderful rest of your day (night? Its like 1am here lmao)



NoOneInParticular says...


Thanks for the clarification! I should probably be asleep as over here it%u2019s also like 12am lol. I did edit the review as my tried brain somehow skipped two whole poems, so go and read it I guess? Have a wonderful night as well! (I should reallg be asleep)



NoOneInParticular says...


edit number two I somehow spelt %u201Ctired%u201D as %u201Ctried%u201D I think I really should sleep

(edit number three also %u201Creallg%u201D should be %u201Creally%u201D I%u2019ll go sleep now)



User avatar


Points: 251
Reviews: 1

Donate
Wed May 15, 2024 8:56 am
View Likes
DramaChicken wrote a review...



Wonderful poems really enjoyed reading them all, the rhymes where well written to which is not always an easy thing to do, it's nice that you use this as a type of insporation for your story. I love the poem called Blooming Scarlet the most it was kind of scary in some ways and super dramatic which is cool.
Simply From
DramaChicken





Pain is filtered in a poem so that it becomes finally, in the end, pleasure.
— Mark Strand