A/N: I had to write a poem for my Spanish class. He wanted two stanzas with six lines each. Each line had to be a different metaphor or simile and we somehow had to make at least one line about each season. My last line was my choice to make about seasons in general. XD. Hope you like :)
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Fall is colorful like my personality.
Spring is dependable like a friend that is always there.
Winter and Summer are total opposites like my brother and me.
Winter is like a harsh pinprick to my brain.
Summer is like the laugh of a child.
Spring is full of budding life like how my mind is full of budding creativity.
***
Spring is relieving like a wave of nostalgia.
Winter is like a mean and cold hearted dragon.
Fall is orange like the pumpkins used in Halloween.
Winter is ghastly and menacing like a haunted soul.
Spring has sprung like how my horizons have grown.
Seasons withhold beauty and inspiration like a serene ballet.
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140,206 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
SEASONS CHANGE
AND I TRIED HARD TO SOFTEN YOU
Hi,
Just a little note:
Using other things, but the names of the seasons may do well in this poem.
Probably because I think all of these spring, winter, fall, summer and seasons seemed monochrome.
Perhaps, perhaps.
~Memo
i like it it has all the seasons
i like it it has all the seasons
i like it it has all the seasons
Hey TiffanyToy! I was hoping that I could give you a review on your poem.
Honestly, I really like the feeling of your poem and everything really seems to flow all together! Fall happens to be my favorite season so, I may be a little prejudiced, hahaha!
I feel like the beauty about poetry is letting the readers paint their own pictures from your descriptive words. Keeping that in mind, you might want to put more detail into the lines of your poem. It's a good start, though! But, maybe if you dig a little deeper, you could find words that appeal to multiple senses. Just a suggestion...
Anyway, happy Halloween!!
Thanks! And Happy Halloween to you too!!
Hi Felistia here with a short review.
Over all it is a very colourful poem and describes the seasons well. In the verse (Spring is full of blooming life like how my mind is full of blooming creativity.) I think it would be better if you used budding. (Spring is full of budding life like how my mind is full of budding creativity.) I think it sounds better and flowers bud in spring, just an idea. You don't have to us it.
In the verse(Winter is like a mean and cold hearted dragon) I don't think this description works, because when I think of a dragon I think of fire. You could say(Winter is like a mean and cold hearted ice dragon.) if you can't use another description. On the whole this poem is beautiful and works really well. Well done and I hope to see more of you work. Have a good day\night.
Thanks! I used both of your suggestions! Thank you!
Hey there, Nightlygaming here offering a few suggestions to an already great piece of material. I hope my opinion here helps
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This is so beautifully written, and I just have a few minor changes/suggestions. First off, you don't have to make each line a sentence. They can drag on and blend, and it's perfect because with four seasons and 6 lines, you can elaborate so much. Additionally, you don't have to just use similes. You have the opportunity to use metaphors, too.
I understand this is a personal essay, but when publishing it, it's important to explain things to your reader. Why do you feel like your brother is your complete opposite? In what ways is your personality colorful, what exactly makes you unique. Like most writers here, just change up a few words to make it more literarily advanced, and you're set!
Ok! Thanks! I'll try to change up some things!