He's busy,
what part of that do you not understand?
He loves you,
just not right now.
Maybe in a few minutes...Yes, that's it!
He will love you in a few minutes.
I promise...
I promise.
Just stop crying. For Christ sake, just stop!
He doesn't know that you're hurting right now. He's busy.
He doesn't know that you need him right now. He's busy.
He doesn't know that you exist right now. He's busy.
But thats okay. Isn't it always?
Just wait a few more minutes. He will love you
in a few more minutes.
I promise...
I promise.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,801 Reviews
Oh my gooooooooood
I can't even. I can't relate to this directly but my best friend is going through this and I swear I'm gonna show her this. This is so perfect <3
One thing I noticed. "But thats okay. Isn't it always?"
*that's
I think that's it though
I will soon be done with your portfolio. xD
With love,
Kamryn
I figured since you reviewed something of mine, I'd give you one as well. The title caught my interest because that is simply how I'm feeling at the moment - neglected. I am a huge fan of poetry that doesn't rhyme, simply because I feel poetry is emotions just thrown on the page. This is no exception to that. I love the way you captured how people who are often neglected, wait for the response, the love and the attention to come back to them but often times it does not. I wouldn't change a thing!
Many thanks, love
Wow, just wow. I may have a difficult time explaining why this magnificent poem brought a tear to my eye. But non the less, I am going to try my best to put words to the many compliments that are rushing through my mind.
This poem was perfectly crafted with such beauty and emotion! I feel as if so many people can relate to this. Whether it be a friend that you hardly talk to anymore, or a child that misses the comfort of knowing their parent is their for them.
I really relate to this, but I believe it would still bring a tear to my eye if I didn't.
I love how it not only describes the actual situation, but also the thoughts and emotions that run through your mind when you're in the situation.
I love how you repeated the "I promise", as if you know that no matter how often the promise is made, it will never be kept. But you still linger on that little false promise because you can only pray it will be true.
I'd love to know your inspiration, and hope all is well with you at this point! I hope to see more of your beautifully simplistic and dramatically realistic works in the future.
You have a true gift, and i hope you will find success in the future!
Good luck to you!
Such a touching review! Oh, I feel so honored to read this. I must say your review made me smile for the first time today; thank you! You understood every single purpose behind writing this poem the way I did!!! Oh, you don't understand the level of happiness I'm experiencing right now >%u2026< I feel so understood, haha!
My inspiration behind this is actually many in counting. There is no specific event; it's an accumulation of frustration and loneliness. From the ignorance of a friend, to the distance of a lover, and the rejection of the only person I consider family. Its quite universal apparently.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for such a compelling review love!!
OH MY GOD!
just whats happening in my life! :p
thanks for writing this!
%u2665
A really moving piece, in such short, precise manner xD.
Loved it. Possibly one of my recent favorites' on YWS.
Hoping to read more from you.
Thank you!!
Wow. THIS deserves the feature you got. Even in the short and simple words, many can relate. There is nothing to change, twist, tweek- nothing. It is perfect. Don't ever stop writing. This is one of the best poems I've ever read. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Even the way the lines are broken up is perfect. Ahhhh! just perfect.
Oh, this just made me smile. Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I really do appreciate it. (And I'm so glad that you noticed the intentional enjambments!!!!).
oh my god my bf is not replying right now I saw this so a short review.
you managed to catch the annoyed, depressed and yet desperate voice inside my head perfectly.
The repeated lines are there to mimic the voice itself and calming yourself down with it I guess, that's a good style of writing I think!
all in all a solid piece!
That's exactly what I was aiming to do. I had so many thoughts rocketing through my mind and driving me crazy that I finally just had to step back and scribble a note to myself to relax. It helped ruin my emotional stability during the situation. I guess that's a win.
Thank you for your review!
Welcome to YWS!
I'm not a big fan of non-rhyming poetry, but this, this I really liked.
The start and end of a poem is always very important. The first few lines set it all up very well.
This was probably my favourite bit.
" He loves you,
just not right now. "
The repetition of " I promise " and " few minutes " was nicely done.
My interpretation of the poem was that it was about a child neglected by his/her father.
( I guess I can relate to it)
The cliched excuse of " He's busy " was used as the focal point in this. Again, I loved it's repetition throughout the poem.
Keep writing!
Thank you for the awesome feedback and I'm happy to see someone else can relate to this as well. This poem actually took a lot of time to write because I had so much to say but not enough words to say it with. I decided to just have a conversation with myself and make myself a stranger to the situation.
Thank you again for your feedback and thank you for welcoming me!