Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
Damien came to stand next her. Staring out into the cliffs he said, "You have no choice but to renegotiate. Or else Jem will learn the truth."
He turned his head to look at her. When Liz continued to stare at her reflection, he grabbed her chin and forcefully turned her head so that she could meet his gaze.
There were tears in her eyes. Jem could never know about that. She had buried it in the past, it had to stay there.
"What do you want?" She barely kept the tremble from her voice.
The glint in his eyes deepened. He knew he had won. "I want more. More nights with you in my bed."
"I already risk so much by coming to you, why do you need more? There are plenty young girls here that would willingly go to your bed." It was true, Damien was very handsome. With his dark hair the color of a raven, and his eyes the color of a stormy sky, he could have any woman he wanted.
"Ah yes, that may be true, but they are not you," he tightened his grip on her chin and pulled her face to his. The kiss was surprisingly gentle.
"No!" Liz pulled away. "I will not be seduced by you."
Damien grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to the wall. He pressed himself against her, making sure she could not move. "Oh, but I will take you. There is no escaping that."
He ran his hands down her arms to take hold of her hands. Taking both wrists in one hand he raised them above her head, with his other hand, he started gathering her skirt. Liz tried to get free, pulling on her wrists only made him grip her harder.
The next kiss he gave was not as gentle as the first. He was angry, and he bit her lip to force his way into her mouth. With her skirt successfully around her waist, he forced his leg between her own. Pulling back from his assault on her he said, "I can have you whenever and wherever I'd like. Be happy that I only require you in my bed at night."
Releasing her wrists from his tight grip, he strode towards the door. Turning to her before he exited, he sneered, "You will come tonight. Or I will come find you."
Liz collapsed against the wall. She covered her mouth, trying to forget what had just happened. How could he? His threat was very real, and she did not want to anger him further. She knew what she had to do.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hello, Teddybear22! I'm here to review. I haven't read the other chapters so I'll just look for nitpicks.
"Ah yes, that may be true, but they are not you," he tightened his grip on her chin and pulled her face to his. The kiss was surprisingly gentle.
You just need a full stop instead of a comma at the end of the speech. Also you need a capital H for 'he'.
Liz tried to get free, pulling on her wrists only made him grip her harder.
The way you've structured this isn't quite right. I can't explain why, but you need to put but after 'free'.
Those are the only two nitpicks I have, so good job! Keep writing.
Hello Teddy, Flite back for a review. I read chapter two but decided to skip to chapter three since it was in the Green Room.
Well, things escalated rather quickly from chapter one, maturity-wise anyways or maybe it was just me. I won't say too much, let's get down to it. Noticed quite a few problems that I've mentioned in early chapters as well, not enough character development and the chapters are too short to get a real sense of what's happening. This is starting to sound like an abusive relationship between Liz and Damien because Liz wants to hide it from Jem. Except there are too many unanswered questions here, what exactly is Liz trying to hide from Jem and why? From what I'm seeing, Liz has been forced into a relationship with Damien, Jem seems like an understanding man so far so what exactly is Liz trying to hide. I get that you might be holding back information to create suspense, but this is holding back too much.
All I'm getting so far is basically unwanted sexual contact between Damien and Liz, apart from Liz being unhappy and sad there are no further insights into them. I want to see more of an interaction between Liz and Jem, who are they, what exactly do they, where exactly are they? It's three chapters in and I still have no clear clue as to where they are and why they're here. There isn't much of a plot going on here at all, all you're currently relying on is that sense of suspense of us not knowing what is happening. On top of that, Damien's action are extremely contradictory, and exactly because of that, it's great material to gain some insight into him. It's obvious he wants Liz more than anyone else, he wants to conquer her, why? Show us why, don't just give us the effects we want to know the reason as well.
That's all I have for now, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
-Flite