Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
CHAPTER 1
Eleven years later…
Myka crouched lower in the thorn bush only a few yards from her prey, a small herd of wild deer. For several days she had been tracking the small herd of eleven or twelve, waiting for the right time to strike.
The sound of hooves walking on the dirt, calmed Myka as she nocked an arrow into her bowstring. Her target was a medium sized buck with a slight limp in his back leg. Taking a deep breath she lined the tip of her arrow to the buck’s lower shoulder. Without the meat the deer would provide she and her uncle would be hungry throughout the winter.
Pulling the string back she counted, one two three, as he uncle had taught her before releasing.A few deer stopped eating grass and lifted their heads slightly as the arrow sailed silently through the afternoon’s sky. It landed in the buck’s right shoulder with a thump. Startled by the sound, the herd started running away from Myka, with the buck lagging behind the rest of them. Repeating what she had done before, she watched as the arrow landed with another thump this time landing an inch above the thigh causing the buck to fall.
Quickly she made her way to the deer and pulled her small but efficient hunting knife from her belt. As she knelt down a flicker of fear flashed through the buck’s strangely blue eyes. Myka bent over the deer and pressed the knife to the deer’s throat. As she did a bright green light flashed, blinding Myka temporarily.
Blinking her eyes a few seconds later she found the piercing light had subsided leaving a faint glow around her. Familiar with the after effects of using magic she knew what the greenish glow meant…shape shifting.Shape shifters often traveled in packs of the animal they change into to keep themselves hidden. It’s a risk they understand for human eyes cannot tell the difference between a shape shifter and a regular animal, but it’s a risk they take for it keeps them hidden from the world.
Myka quickly glanced down at the buck she was holding to the ground, but instead of coming face to face with a deer she came face to face with a man. His face was deathly pale, maybe because it was freezing outside and he was only wearing a light tunic and no shoes, or maybe because of the arrows sticking out of his shoulder and thigh.
Taken by surprise Myka jumped back a few inches. She had seen shape shifters before, they always came to talk with her uncle when they needed help with one thing or another, but she had never seen one actually change right in front of her.
The man groaned reminding Myka that he was injured. Feeling his forehead, she took a deep breath…he was burning hot. She needed to get him to her uncle fast but she knew he couldn’t travel that far with his injury. Nervously she began rethinking of all the small hunting posts she had passed along the way. Hunting posts were small little buildings where you could trade your things or get new supplies. There were usually spaced a two day’s riding apart, and the last one she had past was a day’s riding away.
“Damn it!” she cursed out loud, “You- you idiot! Why would you travel as a deer in hunting territory?” She yelled at him. Then she realized she probably shouldn’t yell at him because he was injured.
“Just- just pull them out…” the man said. It was the first time he had spoken.
Myka nodded, understanding what he was thinking. Shape shifters had super human healing, so all she needed to do was pull the arrows out and he could heal himself. Slinging her pack off her shoulder she grabbed the supply of rags she kept in her pack for emergencies and took a few out. Wrapping a couple strips around the arrow coming from his shoulder, she glided her shaky hand over the arrow coming from his shoulder.She gave it a hard tug sliding the arrow from his flesh, blood spurted over his tunic and her hand. He winced and grabbed the clump of grass he was holding tighter. Myka took a deep breath and gave another hard tug and the arrow came completely free of his body, leaving a bloody gouge in his shoulder.
“It’s just a bit of blood,” Myka calmed herself “Just a little bit of blood.”
Animal blood she was fine with but human’s blood was another story. A heavy dizziness washed over her like river by her cabin, in the spring, as she saw him press a couple of her rags to the blood pooling from his shoulder. A few seconds later blackness took over her world.
***
“Damn females!” a dark husky voice said harshly. Even though the shape shifter had barely spoken to her before she blacked out but Myka still could recognize his voice.
“Neil you really should stop using that language” a female voice said impatiently.
Who is that? Myka asked herself. Curious about whom that person was and what she was doing there, Myka kept her eyes closed and pretended to be still passed out.
“I’ll use any kind of language I want!” Neil said grumpily. There was the sound of wood being thrown on the fire and Myka, being close enough, could feel the heat. “You’re not my mother you can’t tell me what to do!” he added, his voice filled with amusement.
The woman laughed as if they were two old friends sharing a personal joke, “Oh Neil! Not even your mother could make you do something if you didn’t want to do it,” she laughed “You are as stubborn as a-“she stopped abruptly.
“What is it?” Neil asked.
“She is stirring…” the woman said “Goodbye, Neil.” Her voice was becoming more distant with every word.
“Please Senadra…stay, stay with me” Neil’s voice deepened with sorrow “Please” he begged with one last attempt to make her stay.
“Goodbye, my love. I will see you again soon….soon” her voice was a soft whisper, then in a few seconds it was gone completely. Myka could feel the tingling sensation of magic, and wondered. Why did the woman leave when she knew I was awake? How did that woman know I was awake? Who was she? Unanswered questions came flooding into her.
After the woman had left the silence started killing Myka, she could actually hear every single cricket that surrounded them! And rather loudly! As she was about to blow her cover and personally every cricket alive,
Neil interrupted her thoughts, “You can open your eyes now, I know you are awake” he said.
Myka opened her eyes a sliver and saw Neil on the other side of the small camp, and a fire blazed nearby. His wounds were healed, of course, from his super healing but when he shifted a little on the ground she could tell he was still stiff.
Guiltily she sat up and immediately started thinking of her apology. She was used to making good apologies; she had a lot of practice with her uncle. As a kid and even now, trouble always seemed to find her. There wasn’t a day gone by that she didn’t have to apologize for getting into trouble.
Myka shifted and then started with what she always started with, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to shoot you I thought…well you were outside the shape shifters safe zone so I…I “she stuttered “I didn’t even think you would be one…” she finished lamely.
The shape shifters zone was a piece of land that no one could hunt on, it was specifically for the shape shifters so that they had a way of passing from place to place without the risk of getting killed by hunters. Some hunters refused to obey the king’s command and still hunted in the zone, for they thought shape shifters should be killed. But those few hunters were given a fine or put in jail if they were caught.
“I am also sorry for eavesdropping” Myka added. She knew, he knew, that she had eavesdropped so there was no use in pretending.
Neil looked down at his feet, his cheeks showed a hint of red, “it wasn’t all your fault you shot me, as you said, I was out of the safe zone….but it still hurt” he laughed, shrugging off the eavesdropping part for which Myka was thankful for.
Myka now laughed also then she stood up, “ I must go” she said. She needed to get back to her uncle, with a deer, and it was at least half a day’s traveling time to get back. Hopefully she would get some kind of meat on her way home, this was her last chance to hunt for she knew in two or three days the snow would be here.
She had already killed a young deer and a buck that summer and that should last her and her uncle the winter. But she wanted to give some meat to her neighbors for their father had an accident that summer and he couldn’t hunt for them, and the children where all too young to handle the work load.
Myka wanted to be sure Neil was alright before she left because she knew he was in more pain that he was letting on, but she didn’t have much time and she didn’t think he would appreciate that.
“Yes, I must move on too” Neil spoke, startling Myka “I was on my way back to a small village near Rivermouth for a council meeting when you…uh…interrupted me” he said standing up.
Myka glanced at him, he was at least a good half a foot taller than herself, he had light brown hair and his light brown eyes faintly glowed green in the dark, like all shape shifters eyes did. Myka had always found that disturbing for some reason.
“Again I am sorry about that” she apologized shamefully. Crossing the encampment she picked up her bow and pack that was sitting by a log.
All of a sudden she felt the tingling sensation of magic, turning back to Neil she found in place of him a breathtaking silver timber wolf.
“I must be off” the wolf/Neil said in a voice that sounded like Neil’s only more quiet and raspier, like he was having trouble breathing.
Myka nodded, not trusting her voice to speak. She bit back a comment on how he was missing half of his left ear.In one swift moment the wolf turned and loped into the trees, the darkness slowly consuming him.
After putting out the fire, Myka slung her pack over her shoulder and started for home.
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Hi, steampowered here for a review!

I really enjoyed reading this, and I couldn’t really see anything wrong with the actual plot. I think the only real improvements could be made in the more minor detail, so yes… that’s right. Nitpick time!
You’ve mentioned the fact it’s a small herd twice. Perhaps you could re-word it so it’s more like this: “Myka crouched lower in the thorn bush only a few yards from her prey, a small herd of eleven or twelve wild dear. For several days she had been tracking them, waiting for the right time to strike.” Or you could just get rid of the second “small.”
Woah, tense change! You started off in the past tense, and then suddenly changed to the present tense. For consistency you might want to keep the tense the same all the way through. So, “It’s a risk they understand” should be “It’s a risk they understood.”
Do you really need to say “a dark husky voice said harshly”? It feels like a bit of an overload of description. Why not simply, “a voice said harshly” and then, if you want to mention the fact it’s husky, you could say something along the lines of, “but Myka still could recognize his husky voice.” Also, I kind of assumed from this that he was really angry, but he seems to forgive Myka pretty quickly.
I didn’t quite understand this paragraph; how can she blow a cricket? Also, it might just be me, but I didn’t think the exclamation marks were really appropriate.
Other than that, this is really good! As ThereseCricket said, the rating was a little high, which might put some readers off. Really, it would be better as a 12+. I really enjoyed your world building, the idea of the shape shifters zone and the mysterious woman Neil was talking to. You’ve obviously thought a lot about this world, which is definitely to be commended. I think I’ve picked up on everything, so don’t be discouraged by my feedback. Keep up the awesome writing!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW @steampowered !! Again I am amazed at the nice people who take the time to review my work.
You have reviewed a lot of my work and for that I am really grateful. Sorry it took me so long to reply... but THANKS SOOO SOOO MUCH! 
Hi, there! Lefty here to review chapter 1!
Yes! I was super happy that the chapter started 11 years later. I love it when stories start out with showing someone young then jumping to several years later. *happy dance* That's awesome. Now, onto some nitpicks:
her not he
This is really nitpicky but generally when something lands it lands on something. Like a fly landing on his right shoulder so it didn't sound quite right in this context. Perhaps "plunged" or "dug"?
Did you mean to take one of these sentences out? It sort of sounds like your wrote it one way, then reworded it but left the original.
like the river by her cabin?
You mentioned earlier that his eyes were strangely blue. Is that only when he's in deer form?
Ok, so that was about it for the nitpicks. I've got a pretty good feel for the story now and what Myka is like now that she's seventeen. I'm liking your story and I found Neil to be very intriguing. I can picture everything pretty clearly and you describe things quite well. I also noticed there was a lot less repetition in this chapter. So nice job.
You make shapeshifters sound really cool and the fact that they exist makes me really interested in this world they live in. Also, I assume that her uncle hasn't told her that her families farm was burned down because of her so I'm really looking forward to how she finds out or what happens with that. I will head over to chapter 2 now and I will try to keep up with reading each new chapter you post. I'm enjoying reading it. Have a nice day and keep writing!
-Lefty
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH for the review! I was so discouraged with my story until I began reading people's reviews and now I want to get my hands back writing it! I haven't written it in what seems like forever! Thank you again, for the criticism and the praise
Heyo Celtic, Flite here.
I spied chapter two in the Green Room and decided to start from chapter one. (Yes, I read the prologue too.) Anyways, let's get to it.
I noticed that a lot of periods are missing from the end of your dialogue. This was a consistent presence throughout the entire chapter. Maybe it's your word processor or the uploading, but if you aren't aware of it. There is a dialogue here that shows you how to punctuate dialogue properly.
I had a quick scan over your previous reviewers and they've focused mainly on the technical aspects of your chapter. I'm going to focus more on the context and characters. As a general overview, I don't think you established Myka's character very well here. It's not bad, but it could be better. It seems to me in a way, you're deliberately holding back information regarding Myka, which is a big no no for a first chapter. You need to establish a strong character straight away to grab the readers in. I'm extremely curious as to who Myka is, some of her background would be nice. And some more internal emotions here would be good too. A lot of the qualities you've expressed here are qualities we can find off a character profile, Myka is scared of human blood (why is she scared of human blood?), Myka is kind and apologizes when she had caused an injury (well, most people do that.) I want something here that shows me what makes Myka Myka and not Jane, or Mary next door.
The dialogue between Myka and Neil seems a bit wasted to me, you could have developed their characters a lot more if they talked about something of more importance because the whole time was them awkwardly apologizing to each other. You could use this chance to shed some insight into Myka and Neil's background, who Neil is, what he was doin there, where was he going. Myka's reaction to this, Myka has been incredibly meek and that puts me off somehow. Not much omph to her character.
And she wasn't eavesdropping, eavesdropping is an intentional act to listen in to other people's private conversation. She was unconscious and couldn't move, and they were talking. It's inevitable that she could hear them. Which brings me to the question of why Sendara was there. She just came randomly to talk to Neil at that moment? And avoided Myka when she woke? The whole scene seems somewhat pointless in the context of this chapter.
What fire? I didn't see a fire anywhere in the chapter, and all of a sudden there was a fire? By the way another note, I notices that you tend to use a lot of conjuncations in your sentences. Words such as 'also' 'then', you only need one in a lot of cases. Not two.
Well, the idea seems promising. So we will see where this goes.
Hope I wasn't too harsh, if you have any questions please feel free to ask me. Alternatively, I offer you the choice of throwing some dead fish and rotten mushrooms. :3
All the best.
-Flite
Thanks for the review Flite!
Hi! Cricket here for a review!

Sorry, that I took so long to get to this. I haven't been feeling very motivated when it comes to reviewing lately. Hopefully, I'll be more punctual next time!
The first thing that I would like to talk about is your rating. I read through, and all I could find was damn. Typically, I don't review works that have 16+ for language, but since it was you... I figured I would make an exception. The thing, this doesn't need to be 16+. You still need the rating for language on here, but it should really be 12+. Also, you get more comments and reviews when the rating is lower. That has been my personal experience at least. xD If you look here, you'll see how to properly rate your works on YWS. Hope that link helps. ^^
Next, would be just a quick reminder on your grammar.
This is just a quick reminder to make sure that you remember in the future to put a comma before going into dialogue tags. This is something that you need to remember, as if you don't then your work will take on the appearance of being sloppily written. So commas after dialogue, when you're going into a dialogue tag.
Here, we have a small case of redundancy. Notice that you have two herd's in this sentence? Generally we call it redundancy if you have the same word within the spacing of two or three paragraphs. Within reason, of course. The and of aren't the words that you should be looking out for. Verbs, adjectives, and nouns are what you need to keep an eye out for. A herd is a noun, obviously, so keep an eye out for instances like this. The best way to get all redundancy out of your work, is to read it aloud to yourself. The redundant parts will stick out, and you'll be able to pick them out and fix them with greater ease. Hope that makes sense. ^^
Exactly how bad is this limp? I know you said slight limp, but if it's bad enough then he technically shouldn't be able to keep up with the rest of the herd. Not for long distances at least, and if she has been chasing them for several days... Well, I hope you get what I mean.
No, no. She should yell at him! She is frustrated so she needs to show her anger. And she needs to take it out on something, and if he's the only thing or person that is available, then use him. Also, one small thing that I thought I should mention. Normally, I don't but I figured that just this once, I would.
If you're using the language in her dialogue to show her anger, then you need to rethink how you are showing your characters emotions. If that is the reason (IF) then go through her character. If you think that she would be the type to swear when upset, then go ahead. If it fits the character then that's awesome. But if she isn't... then you need to find a different way for her to show her emotion. Some people show their emotion through language, while others show their emotion through their physical aspect. It's up to you what your character is, of course, but make sure that every word that your character says is what they are. Hope that helps.
This isn't a big deal, but just something to remember for the future. After an ellipsis (...) you always have a space when going into another word. So right before the second soon there would be a space. If you don't have a space then technically the two words that are being separated by the ellipsis are together as one word.
There seems to be a lot of wants in here. Why not show this to us? Through dialogue and example would be the best way. The way it is right now, just seems like it's thrown out there, like it's a piece of information that needed to be given to us. It needs to be given to use subtly, so try and slip it in in some different way.
Other than the grammatical mistakes that are an easy fix, there isn't much else to critique. Remember that when dealing with nature related things, you have to have every detail right or else somebody might spy it and it won't rub off too well. xD
I think I'm done here. Keep writing! This is awesome.
Spoiler
~Cricket
THANK YOU so much @ThereseCricket !! I am so grateful for the people who take time to review my work. I am so sorry that I haven't replyed to all these reviews earlier. My head hasn't been in the game of anything lately :/ Sorry. Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I am going to begin with saying that I really liked this. I could feel the adventure as if I was right there in the story. I got a sense of Myka's personality so she was well developed and thought out.
I think if you go through it again, maybe after not reading it a few days, so the text is somewhat fresh to you again, you will spot the minor punctuation and grammar mistakes.
Do not forget to start a new paragraph for dialogue. This could be because of the formatting issue when you copy/paste, but have a look at that.
I am interested to discover what happens next in regards to the plot. So yes, keep writing and uploading. Best of luck!
Thank you so much JM!
Have you read my prologue?
Hello there!
Firstly, I'd like to note that the characters are for the most part pretty 3-dimensional. You also did well with the pace of the beginning, as it drew me in and got interesting pretty quickly.
One thing that I've found helpful during proofreading is reading it out loud, which helps you notice awkward phrasing and things like missing commas, which I noticed several of in the piece. An example is here:
The man groaned reminding Myka that he was injured.
Where the comma would go between "groaned" and "reminding." I also feel like you use ellipses (...) a bit too much. That's another flow issue that seems kind of similar to overuse of adverbs to me, where if a sense of nervousness is implied by the context, putting in a distracting word/form of punctuation is unnecessary and ends up being distracting. Personally, it seems to me that a lot of the places where you use them would flow more smoothly with a comma in their place.
I've also noticed that there are a few little information dumps that kind of break immersion in the story, an example being the explanation of the shape shifters zone. Having a paragraph of information like that breaks the rhythm of the story.
I would advise cutting out parts that aren't necessary. For example, you could just say that it's a safe area for shapeshifters, without going into how some people don't obey the laws. Or, even better, integrate it into the story more. It would makes sense for her, in her initial panic over having shot a shapeshifter with an arrow, to wonder why he wasn't in the zone where he would be safe.
Most of the problems I have with this are mechanical problems. The characters seem pretty well-rounded, and from what I see it looks like they will continue to be developed as the story continues. Opening with a bit of an emergency like this helps the reader get a quick grasp of the characters' personalities, which I find is also pretty god at helping the writer get a better idea of the characters as well.
The plot certainly seems like it's going to get interesting- I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
-Lexi
Thank you so much Lexi! Any help I can get to make this crappy story better is much appreciated!

Iwill try get the next chapter going as soon as possible