Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic

18+ Mature Content

one day you will be angry.

by TheMarauderBandit


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for mature content.

One day you will be angry,
my therapist told me when I was fourteen,
and I laughed at her.

The Lord has forgiven you,
so you also must forgive.
I can’t hold a grudge.

Last week, Mr. Brown
who used to teach biology
was arrested for sexual assault.

And, oh, God, I am angry.
I’m not fourteen anymore,
but I am angry.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
49 Reviews


Points: 2201
Reviews: 49

Donate
Sun Feb 23, 2020 2:48 am
PlainandSimple wrote a review...



Hello! Here to review your work!

It is simple, short, but has a huge impact. The impact is sexual assault. The reader (me) doesn't know who was assaulted, the reader doesn't know mostly anything. This makes it a great poem, it leaves the reader wondering, thinking, and acknowledging how awful something like this can be. Assault of any kind is breaking to anyone that it happens too, and anyone surrounding it.

The hook is nice, it leaves you thinking what may happen at the end. Which then you find out it is one of the worst things possible. Angry overwhelms the story right after the first few lines, angry overwhelms the reader as well. I like that most of your poems are short, and untold after the end. I've only read two of your poems so far, but maybe you should write at least a short story to inform the readers who are going crazy about what this means. Maybe it could get you out of your comfort zone. Either way great job.

I will be reading more of your work!

_ from your friend,
@PlainandSimple _




User avatar
79 Reviews


Points: 1923
Reviews: 79

Donate
Sat Oct 26, 2019 6:57 pm
dahlia58 wrote a review...



Indeed, anyone would be furious in this situation. This poem is concise enough to convey the speaker's anger perfectly. Long, artsy phrases aren't necessary to express feelings. Of course, the Lord forgives. But humans aren't divine. Just because we try our darn hardest to forgive atrocities against us or others doesn't mean we'll always succeed.

Sometimes, as you said, it takes a while for the angry emotions to catch up to us. Usually this happens because the brain automatically tries to put away any memories that are particularly stressful. But when the fury finally comes out, it comes out...

This was a great poem. Please do write more^^




User avatar
31 Reviews


Points: 91
Reviews: 31

Donate
Sat Oct 19, 2019 12:06 am
ToxicAnglerFish wrote a review...



Hello! I am here to review your work and to try to help you get out of the green room! So let's get started!


Wow! I must say really enjoyed this poem, I really like your writing style and how you conveyed the subject matter from saying you're religious so you are not allowed to be angry to no longer being young and so forgiving. It was really interesting! But I feel like this poem could use a bit of work so let me help you out here. I feel like that this poem could be more detailed, really let your anger shine through, this is rated 18 right for the sexual assault part? Well cuss! Really show us that well-deserved rating, Really show how you feel inside, describe your emotions and let it all out because, to be honest, this poem doesn't scream angry at me. And assuming your angry because it is sexual assault which is something anyone would be livid over, this poem seems oddly calm? Like im not really getting that pissed off a vibe or that "I have forgiven people for far too long" vibe, which I would imagine you would have after being again, so forgiving for so long. I also feel like this poem could be a little longer? It kinda sticks out at me as written within the moment and not really fleshed out, which again would make sense if you were angry since people don't tend to think clearly with anger. I just really feel the anger and frustration of always being forgiving in this but I just can't.

And im not saying this like your feelings are invalid or that you have no reason to be angry nor you did a bad job at writing. Im just trying to give you criticism, anyway keep writing!






I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work! Unfortunately, I've been struggling with these feelings for a while and haven't found the right words to really express the specifics of what I feel about what I've experienced. It's difficult to put it into language that others would understand- it's more of a happening than anything else. I sat on this poem for 4-5 days and just found that nothing would come out.

I think this is relatively common among trauma survivors. It's difficult to put everything into words, but I definitely understand how it fails to translate through to readers. Either way, I really appreciate your feedback, and thank you so much!




The mind of man is capable of anything - because everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness