z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

hyperion.

by TheMarauderBandit


        hyperion.

vast miles of magnificent grip
paint the universe into existence;
her divine body flecked with freckles
of celestial life-- lips as mysterious in
beauty as the moon he has shaped
after her divine face; and the sun,
peeking ‘neath fingertips and words,
the bright dawn awaiting to shine.
more than a god, she stands with
the creators of the titans-- an
entity beyond capacity of mortal thought.
much less mine.

        for annika.
        the girl i worship.


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1081 Reviews


Points: 220
Reviews: 1081

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Mon Feb 06, 2017 12:50 pm
Virgil wrote a review...



This is Nikayla here for a review!

Hey there Marauder. I've reviewed a bit of your poetry before, but let's jump right into the review nonetheless. I see that you based this work off of some of the Greek mythology with the titan Hyperion showing up in the title of the poem. I thought the structure that you decided to use was a little odd, with a couple of words before and after the large stanza that you have which is what the poem is mainly composed of.

At the end of the poem, you say 'for annika', and I was wondering if it was a part of Greek mythology that I didn't know about, but that doesn't seem to be the case since I couldn't find anything on the name. Instead, my interpretation of the ending is that it's an actual name that you decided to use, though the reader doesn't quite know who it belongs to or what it means. I'm thinking it may be the speaker's significant other, but I'm not quite sure why this is a poem that would go out to another person or be dedicated to them.

The last line is something cryptic that I was also wondering about and it makes me think that the speaker thinks that this 'annika' person happens to be better than themselves. Something that confused me in the poem is that you use the pronouns of 'she/her' but then continue to have a line where she is 'more than a god'. I suppose it makes sense, but I just thought that you might have meant 'goddess' instead. I like the imagery of the piece which is a strength of it, but who is being written about is rather vague and the reader doesn't really know how to interpret it. I would like to see more clarity in the piece in terms of knowing who the speaker is in relations to 'annika'.

You introduce this divine type figure though you don't really flesh out or even give context as to who she really is. The part about Hyperion in the piece didn't really make too much sense in my head for it to be in there but I suppose it shows that she's divine and everything of that sort, but in that it suggests she's apart of some sort of Greek mythology. Maybe I'm thinking too much into it. The imagery is also something I wanted to touch on. While strong, there are places in the piece where I wanted more from it because it is the main thing you really decide to focus on it seems, or at least it's what made the piece for me.

I hope I helped and have a great day!




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16 Reviews


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Sun Feb 05, 2017 7:35 am
AngelBunnyroll wrote a review...



hi, Angel to review this. This is beautiful, this is truly a beautiful piece, I love how you used Hyperion especially; one of my favorite gods. Annika must be a very special person and must be very beautiful, this poem is a wonderful thing for her. I love how you use the universe to describe her beauty as well.





Powerful men have a way of avoiding consequences.
— Dr. Harrison Wells, The Flash