“While it’s alright to hold on tight, please don’t try to hold on."
- First Sight, These United States
There is the living.
He who loves me, he who makes me ashamed,
And those who wear their hearts on their sleeves, but never do laundry.
I see skeletons of people I used to know, and I admire them.
Their glossy, fleshless, features sparkle like wine.
Thinking about those bones often, and I find myself envious.
I’m desirous of all their good times, gone.
Jealous of their good times, come.
I am young, but I cannot wait to be younger.
I am ashamed,
But because of the frame work of the body,
We will embrace it all.
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
--> know what you make a good *creep-me* poem though I cannot exactly connect the title "I Blush" to the content of the poem.. I like how she felt envious with the bones ..
WOW! Girl this rocked! I really like how it was very simple, but at the same time it left the poem open for interpretation.
Overall, this was a very good poem! Keep it up girl!That was quite a complex poem but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Its honest and frank yet the choice in words are so vague. Its an interesting style of writing.
There are some great lines in this poem. I'm speaking specifically of "And those who wear their hearts on their sleeves, but never do laundry." as well as "am young, but I cannot wait to be younger." I loved those lines and the meanings I got from them.
However, the format wasn't clear. The line lengths jumped around. Another thing I notice was the use of "I", like Kwantack noticed as well, at the beginning of a lot of the lines. Some variety would greatly help you advance the sound and overall image one gains from your poem.
Interesting, but I'm not sure if the format of the poem is supposed to have so many I's when beginning the line. Perhaps you could make that a little clearer.