Every now and then I find myself standing half-naked in front of a mirror.
Whether it is my nether or upper regions that are completely uncovered, I always feel the same way.
I look myself up and down over and over again, each time slower than the last, to truly grasp what I am seeing.
After some time, I start to grab myself, my breasts, my (in my own opinion giant) thighs, my butt, and especially my waist. It all feels so big.
As I do this, I think of all the people I know, who I find prettier than myself, and realize that they are all thinner than me.
For a brief moment, I wish I could be thinner, 'like a supermodel', I think. But then I remember the truth about them. That their bodies are sick because they won't eat, or they are fakes, only beautiful because of some snazzy computer program. Both of which I strongly dislike.
Then I move my hand up, between my waist and breast, and feel. My ribs are only about a centimeter beneath my skin. Merely a thin layer.
I feel my legs, they too have bones straight under my skin. Same goes for my arms, and most of my upper back.
I look at myself in the mirror once more, and realize, that I look beautiful. Some of my body parts may seem fat, but all they do is add on curves to my feminine body.
I wrap my arms around me, hugging myself, and whisper to myself 'more to hug, more to love'.
I smile, put on my jammies, lie in bed, and giggle a bit. I don't care what some women look like, whether it's real life or Photoshopped, because the only thing that truly counts is that I'm healthy and happy.
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Hello! I am Candrew. There is a reason I clicked on this poem. The way your description of the poem was what caught my eye. I will be honest, I, my self am fat. People are thinner than me, better looking than me, but you know what. They're also jerks, bullies, and people tell me I'm ugly, a fat a**, a f*****. Sometimes I believe them. I want to sometimes end it all. But when those thoughts and temptations pop into my head, I remember my friends telling me I'm the best looking thing ever. I know they're just saying that to make me happy, but they also tell me I'm beautiful on the inside. They tell me they love me. I'm a loving person. I can never stay mad at anyone. I love the world, but at the same time I hate it.
I have a lot of medical issues and take medicine that makes me gain weight. Every day I try my hardest to be the best person I can and nothing less. Every day I become more of a man and loos more weight. you may think I'm writing all of this just for points but this has a lesson in it. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside. It matters what's on the inside. you may be fat, ugly, gay, black, white, or anything else. as long as your beautiful on the inside. You will always be my friend. Thank you for reading my review! Keep writing and have a wonderful day!!!!
Hi I'm Giselle on to the review
I have to say a few tears came from my eyes when I was reading this. I have this friend that's finding it hard to believe she's beautiful. I'm going to recommend this poem to her, in hopes it would boost her spirits. Which I know it will. This was beautifully written and I'm glad you found that no matter what you are beautiful.
Keep up the good work
Hi there!
Many models are just naturally thin. They don't have to starve themselves. And most models are against photoshop. Models do not choose to have their own beautiful appearances altered to fit society's image of what is perfect. I don't think that the narrator should say this because it puts down other people, and makes the narrator unlikable.I'm glad that the narrator found that she was beautiful.
What I think needs some work in this piece is how the narrator figures out that she is beautiful, and the overall format of the piece.
As it is, this would fit under "Other" better than it would poetry. I'm not talking about the length of the lines. Prose poetry is a thing. However, this isn't really a poem. There are images, but poetry is about finding connections between things, and there aren't really any connections made in this piece. This piece is telling a story, while poetry would show us a story. While this piece is in first person, and is about the narrator's perception of herself, look at how many times you use I in the piece. 21 times. And most of those are the subject of the sentence. I challenge you to see how many I's you can take out of this, making other things the subjects of the sentence. Believe it or not, this can really help you to show and not tell in your piece. Instead of falling into the pattern of "I do this," you can feel free to say something like, "My thighs feel too heavy in my hands" instead of "I start to grab myself".
Also, I really disagree with the paragraph about the models. The narrator kind of puts them down to make herself feel better. That isn't healthy.
This is super out of place. Take it out. You don't have to tell that the narrator doesn't like these things. Let the reader infer. It would sound as if it was out of an essay instead of a poem, if it was a full sentence. There are a lot of other phrases like that in this piece, too. "In my own opinion" "I do this" "may seem"... the list goes on.
If you don't want to edit this too much, I suggest changing the genre to "other." But I think that you can turn it into a really lovely poem about finding beauty. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Keep writing!
First off, the whole model thing is written like that because there are so many girls, young or old, comparing themselves to models. Some of them might be naturally thin, but even so, Photoshop is frequently used to enhance their figure to make it 'more appealing' or some sh*t like that, and sometimes tese models themselves starve thenselves because they find that they aren't good (thin) enough. I wrote it like that because some people don't know about it, and think they should look like that or whatever. (Might seem like I'm generalizing to just those two things, but simply because those things are usually the case)
As for the second thing, I get that it aounds weird but I couldn't put into words, at leastin few words, how I don't want to starve myself or Photoshop myself to feel pretty.
Thanks for the review!
I understand that they are comparing themselves to models. I think that you can get that point across without making it seem as if the narrator is putting down others to make herself feel better. It comes off as rude.
yes, i do understand that it seems that way, but whenever i do this to myself, its what i think of. it makes me feel as if my body is beautiful and even though it comes off as rude, i find that it adds to the entire piece.
thanks for the critisism, really helps out my self-esteem.
I feel like literally every girl has done that at some point, and I 'm not going to lie, I do that too. I wish that I was prettier and thinner, even though I can't get much thinner, I always am fuller than anyone else that I see. I always want to be prettier, I hate looking at my face in the mirror and I hate how my hair falls. I always want to change my name, Who would name a kid Luna? I always want to change my weight or my eye color or my skin color or my hair color or my face. But sometimes, when I think about it, what if what I wanted came true? Would I look in the mirror and see a random girl that I never thought I'd see. I'm used to seeing a tall brunette with blue eyes and creamy skin. And I don't think given the choice, that I would change anything about myself.