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A Winter Stroll

by ThatOneGuy2002


Theres something i've forgotten
something from long ago
something that fluttered in the wind from my grasp
lay buried in the snow

Something very needed
for a function I dont know
something very wanted
without it, further I cannot go

Who am I? 
I ask myself, though distant my voice seems
Where am I?
I ask the clouds, through which the sunlight gleams

How far now?
I ask the path, from which i've never strayed, 
How much longer?
I ask the cabin ahead, of which i've never stayed

"You are here"
the clouds seem to say, filled with a sense of belonging
"Not much further"
The path shines at me, and quenches my anxiousness with longing

"Patience, friend"
the cabin speaks, and provides me much content
surely this is the path ive chosen, 
I will not envy those I never went.

Still a voice lingers in my mind
a quiet whisper still beckons
"Who am I?"

Theres something i've forgotten
something from long ago
perhaps one day something will tell me
where I buried it in the snow.


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8 Reviews


Points: 24
Reviews: 8

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Sat Oct 27, 2018 8:24 pm
DefianceDagger wrote a review...



Wow, this poem is so pretty! Structurally, I loved it, my favorite lines being,

"something from long ago
something that fluttered in the wind from my grasp
lay buried in the snow"

But grammar wise this could use some work

"Theres something ive forgotten"
(There's something I've forgotten)

"I ask the path, from which ive never strayed, "
(I ask the path, from which I've never strayed, )

"I ask the cabin ahead, of which ive never stayed"
(I ask the cabin ahead, of which I've never stayed)

"I ask the cabin ahead, of which ive never stayed"
(I ask the cabin ahead, of which I've never stayed)


"Theres something ive forgotten"
(There's something I've forgotten)

Also, you may want to capitalize your I's. Hope this helps!




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Fri Oct 26, 2018 9:41 pm
TwistedMind says...



Hello, I'm Ari and I am new at this but I will try my best. So first off I wanted to write my first review on a poem that caught my attention and that is yours!:) This piece is just absolutely amazing. I love the word choices because that made the flow of it come nicely together, keep up the wonderful work!






Thx! Im pretty knew as well, only came a few days ago on the recomendation of my sis. Thx for the review!



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64 Reviews


Points: 733
Reviews: 64

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Fri Oct 26, 2018 9:02 pm
Aliceinhorrorland wrote a review...



Hello! Honestly I can say this poem is one of my favorites I've read on this site so far! And i'm not just saying that for this review. The words you wrote flowed so naturally in the poem, that's a difficult thing to do and you NAILED it! You earned a follow from me! This poem is amazing and easy to relate to, it also has a lot of depth, and the meaning is very profound. Great work! I look forward to seeing your other writings :)






Thanks for the review and follow! Ill definitely be posting some more works, great to meet you.



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113 Reviews


Points: 381
Reviews: 113

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Fri Oct 26, 2018 2:34 pm
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Bellarke wrote a review...



Hai!! I am B, I will try to make this into a review!!


First off, I am going to state the good things...

I love your poem, and the way that it is set up, and worded.


I have no idea why, but I love this part...

""You are here"
the clouds seem to say, filled with a sense of belonging
"Not much further"
The path shines at me, and quenches my anxiousness with longing

"Patience, friend"
the cabin speaks, and provides me much content
surely this is the path ive chosen,
I will not envy those I never went"


And secondly, I dont understand whyt everything is in quotation makes, and there are there are some capitalizations....

For example... ""who am I"?"

And the question mark should be in the quotes as well...


but overall, I loved this, it was amazing!!!

Keep up the great work....

~B






Thx. I have know idea why everything is quoted. I couldnt figure out how to use fonts and styles xD silly me




Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
— Homer Simpson