Chapter 1: Gaia Village (all parts)

Hey there, Taithoes! I was looking for an unconventional piece to review for the Checklist Challenge, when I came across this. For a person who reviews just about anything that he understands, picking something out of my genre was an immense challenge- that's when I knew I had to get creative. And voila, your graphic novel lifted me from the tricky place I was stuck in. I haven't ever really read such stories and certainly never reviewed them. Now this was a little difficult to review... normally, so I thought to do what I never do. It's time for a review template!



Hello fellow writer! Today I'll be reviewing using the Foliage Review Template!

Budding Flower
first impressions

I instantly fell in love with the art style. I can guess that the protagonist has been travelling tirelessly for some while now, but it has a direction. I like how subtly you can make all of that obvious through the drawing, without so much as saying a word. An impressive skill to have.
She's going towards a certain house with a purpose- only to reunite with an old friend. There seems to be a contrast of power between them? I like the sudden anxiety on his face as he bows, and how that makes her uncomfortable. We learn that he encountered him accidentally, when she was just looking for a blacksmith to make him a sword. Her silence when he questions why she didn't get one from the castle really peaks my curiosity as to what's actually going on. Perhaps she is on a secret mission to expose the corrupt forces in her kingdom, and can't afford them finding out? I also find their dynamic quite fascinating- there was an immense scope for romance, but you chose to make the guy married. Certainly a bold choice, and I wonder if there's any reason he could be lying.. It's believable and best that they stick together on their journey moving forwards, so I really hope the protagonist lets him. With a literal spy behind them, they're gonna have to be careful!

Luscious Leaves
favorite parts

I love the expressions on the character's faces, really tells half of the story by itself. You certainly have a gift! It's nice to see that the narrative never gets to childish despite being presented in the form of a comic. I must also shower compliments on the way you established mystery so effortlessly- the protagonist hiding what her mission is about and even a spy sneaking around to everyone's surprise.

Broken Stem
Critiques

One only real critic I can offer is that there wasn't much plot to entertain in this chapter. Majority of the initial part just portrays the protagonist walking, which seems a little boring. Then she just talks with a friend she came across randomly and heads out. You build up a lot of premise for the future but don't do much as of now. But considering it's the first chapter, a slow pace is perfectly natural. I'm sure it'll improve as we move further down the plot.

Blooming Flower
Closing Thoughts

There's a lot of potential in this! The duo hints at future romance, if a breakup is first upcoming. The secrecy is most compelling and the person spying in secret is really raising the anticipation. I wonder if this is going to have any consequence real soon. The artstyle is really captivating, and definitely the highlight. Thank you for, and keep writing. This was a pleasure to review, until next time~

Love, Alex

Credit to @yuuki for this awesome template, thank you!

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the mutated S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Athena visits Jack to make a sword. They are friends, but it’s been a while since they have seen each other, time has passed since then. Jack has married since that time. No matter the years, he decides to accompany Athena on her adventure.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow- I like this so far. I would like to see more of Athena’s family, but I’m sure that stuff is in the other chapters.

Chocolate Bar - I love how the pictures are drawn! They’re very fun, like watching a cartoon! I also like how Jack and Athena seem to be very close friends after being apart. The pacing is good too. It’s not too fast, not too slow. It feels natural for the progress of the story.

Closing Graham Cracker - Athena and Jack venture far off, Athena with her new sword. There is magic and mayhem awaiting, and much more unwinding of the tale, but that is to be determined later on…

I wish you a fantastic day/night! ^v^

Hi Taithoes! I’m toast, and I’m here to dissect this amazing piece of art: Skin Deep!.

Before I say anything tho, oh wow, I’ve rarely seen this much pictures on this site so far, let alone a full on webtoon! So, I might be a bit excited right now. Also, side tangent but I read like the first 10 panels from right to left bc I was too used to japanese Manga format lol… (no im not a weeb wdym, i barely know what BMHA is)

For the art,
I really liked the idea and execution of it all: The way you drew every single one of those houses, The coloring, they were all very nice and you have a nice grasp on panelling! (smt I struggle with tbh). Although, there are two(? non of them are that big of a deal tho) things that’d I’d like to critique.
First, although I really enjoyed reading the story as well as the art, I feel that drawing your characters more consistently is really important. For example, Athena’s arm length changes quite alot depending on the scenes especially when Athena and Jack and Jack gets down on his knees to greet her, the length of Athena’s arms get shortened quite a bit.
The other thing is, onomatopoeias. Although the overdoing of them can cause chaos and frankly annoying storytelling, underdoing them can cause misconceptions and miscommunications. For example, I didn’t realize Athena was knocking on the door when Jack got surprised and touched the scolding hot iron on his body accidentally. A simple *knock* *knock* would have made the scen a whole lot more clearer without obstructing the story too much. However, this second point is more of a stylistic recommendation than an actual critique, so don’t take it too seriously.

For the story,
I feel that there’s something bigger brewing behind the scenes. I really loved the forshadowing of a mysterious assassin(?)-type girl overhearing the two’s conversation. I’m also curious as to who Athena is, as she seems to be some sort of noble. I will definitely check out your webtoons to see if more of your art tho! (and maybe story if you uploaded any more of skin deep ahead)

All in All,
Although I haven’t been on this site for so long I’ve seen so many passion and creative people here, experimenting on all kinds of writing styles! This’s definitely unique to the YWS format, but it’s a welcome one (for me atleast) and hope to see more really soon! (though burnout is important so remember to take breaks!)

Have a nice day! (or night..)

(Also, this must’ve taken so long to make! I personally tried drawing comics/manga as well but i give up after like the fourth panel lol)

Castles, swords and a mission! You've got quite an intriguing beginning to a novel here :] As Avian said, I haven't really seen this form of noveling around here, but it's pretty awesome ^^

And the graphics are just neat! I love how they portray the character's their expressions so well, the dialogues also add their magic touch Jack is such an awesome character, though XD But. i saw a person lurking around... Excited to see what comes next Good luck with this project :]

Woah! I don't think I've seen a graphic novel posted on here before, so this was really cool to see!

Your art is amazing! I can't imagine how long this would take. I hope you keep posting here!