Young Writers Society

The first four lines really stick out to me, especially the "I hate myself, I love my knife". That was very well done. It's extremely dark, but like the others had said, relatable. However, one part that strikes me is the "Problems, I have problems, I have lots and lots, And lots and lots of problems" I think the 'and' part in the beginning of the fourth line is a bit unnecessary. So instead it could be "I have lots and lots, lots and lots of problems". Just a thought

Hmm, the subject is very dark, but I really like it. It's the type of write that most of us can relate to and I like how it has a very realistic feel through it. In the words and in the word choice you used. Well done on this one. I would love to hear some music to this one day. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Keep writing. You have some talent here!

This is actually really cool. The repetition was well done and the rhymes flowed well without feeling forced. I can totally imagine this with some really loud guitar and drumming as a backing track. Are you planning on doing anything with it beyond this?