​Bruises

Hey there, being in that position before I really relate to this poem. I really like the first stanza and the last two lines of that stanza. It would be interesting and help build that dramatic feeling if you would maybe add some examples. They don't have to be all that detailed just enough to really bleed with the person. To help that I am rooting for you feeling when she finally says good-bye and means it. But over all I loved it. It flows really nicely and the words build together really well.
Good job!

Hey there, being in that position before I really relate to this poem. I really like the first stanza and the last two lines of that stanza. It would be interesting and help build that dramatic feeling if you would maybe add some examples. They don't have to be all that detailed just enough to really bleed with the person. To help that I am rooting for you feeling when she finally says good-bye and means it. But over all I loved it. It flows really nicely and the words build together really well.
Good job!

Hello, hello, gxldencrxwns dropping in for a review. My words will have a ^ next to it.



You speak words with vain

but my love for you stood the same.

Though I slowly fell apart,

from my bruised and beaten heart.

- ^ The first stanza was an excellent starter for the poem. It introduced what is happening and the antagonist, who is verbally, maybe even physically, abusing the main character. The rhyming was smooth and went along good, not forced.

I began to walk away

as you begged me to stay.

I turned to you and said,

"I don't want to be loved only when laying in your bed."

- ^ I see that a lot in abusive relationships (I should know, my mom and dad are the same way), they're only appreciated for sexual activity. You pointed that out and handled the topic very well if that was you were trying to point out.

I deserve more,

a love down to the core.

I need to feel

raw emotions that are real.

- ^ Not much to say about this one. Wouldn't change it.

But before I go, know my words are true

when I say, "Honey, I loved you."

^ The poem was ended excellently with this last stanza. The main character loved the antagonist but now, after he started to abuse her, she possibly regretted it and wants to leave. I really like the meaning behind the poem, I personally like poems that can be related to with many people, and this one is no exception. Excellent work, can't wait to see more of your works.

~gxldencrxwns

I like the rhyming in this poem! The rhythm felt a little awkward, and it changed at the end, but the simplicity gets the point across. The emotions contained in this poem could have made the stanzas endless, because heartbreak is an experience that has a special hold over souls, but you only needed a few to express your hurt, and your longing, and your sadness and even anger. The resolution felt by the author and the appreciation from the reader is the most important thing, in my opinion.

Good work!