The Wedding

Author's note: I'm not great at writing romance, or first person perspectives, I'm not even going to pretend I am, and the ending is kind of... typical, not to give away any spoilers. I'm just not great at endings...I'll admit that right off the bat, so by reading this you are acknowledging that fact.

But, I am here to improve my writing after all.

That said, don't hold back;) *masochistic grin*

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“You look so beautiful in that dress, dear.” Aaron said to me in a soft voice. His brilliant hazel eyes glistened. If I hadn’t known any better, I would have been dead set on the fact that he looked like he might break down and cry. He looked tired, long hours of working finally caught up to him. But he was still his usual, smiling self.

“And you look charming.” I replied, kissing him on the cheek lightly.

“Are you nervous at all?”

“Not at all.”

“Not even a little?”

I shook my head. “Not even a little.” After five marriages before Aaron, I’ve gotten so use to the routine that it really didn’t bother me. My family still got teary-eyed. Especially my sister, who has always viewed me as he younger sibling no matter how old we got, she was the most emotional out of everyone, despite my efforts to keep her calm. I could tell Aaron was restless, and that his own family hadn’t helped him feel at ease any more than mine had. They were an uptight bunch, snobby and high-strung during special events. I often wondered if they even knew how to relax.

Placing my hands on his strong shoulders, I leaned in close to him and kissed him a second time. On the lips. “Everything will be fine, my love.”

“I envy you.” He said.

“Don’t.”

“No, I’m serious. You’re always so calm about everything, and here I am, a fucking mess before my wedding!” Aaron paused and chuckled, “I’m sorry. I know I must sound silly… I’ll do my best to keep calm.” His smile was warm, but there seemed to be something off about him just then. Figuring he truly was feeling restless, I just let it roll off my shoulders.

“Don’t be stupid! It’s perfectly alright to be worried.”

“Maybe… It’s just, well, you see… I don’t want the woman of my life worrying on our special day.”

“I’m not worrying, my love,” My hand reached out to touch his cheek. “Everything will be fine.”

But were things ever ‘fine?’ Wouldn’t there be some sort of fault, a flaw, something overlooked?

A few hours later the wedding commenced. All of our friends and relatives were there, including a few of mine I wish had not shown up. We all have those people in our lives, the ones we wish we could get rid of and would so almost anything in order to achieve that. Most of those people were in my family. I don’t get along with a lot of my family and didn’t like the thought of being nice to them. This was supposed to be mine and Aaron’s special day, leave it to a few uninvited cousins to screw it up, I really did not want to spend the day babysitting them to make sure they were on their best behavior Or, more importantly, made sure they kept their distance from me. I had allowed them to congratulate me, but nothing further.

Aaron stayed close to his family. I have to admit I was a little upset about this. This was our special day; the least he could do was stick by me. Maybe he really was that nervous in spite of my reassurance. But even then, why would he spend more time with his family, people who made him uncomfortable, rather than stand by my side? I had expected him to just stick by me. I will be the first to admit I was jealous, and it was not easy to make a woman like me jealous, I was always more carefree, and I didn’t get huffy over little things. But there was something about the way he was acting during our special day that was getting to me. That was what it was coming down to.

I didn’t like it. There was something nagging in the back of my mind. I don’t know what it was, but something almost felt… wrong.

I was even more positive of it when we were standing before the altar. While we said our vows, my heart was pounding. Something about the way Aaron was looking at me while the pastor was speaking. His smile seemed a little off, but that might have been my imagination, or, he might have been trying a little too hard. By this point, the fact he was nervous might just be me blowing it off. I wanted this day to be perfect, there was no room for mistakes. When it came time for us to kiss each other, all I could think of was asking Aaron what might be up.

So once everything was over and done with, I had decided to confront him.

“I need to speak to you.” I approached him casually, even though he was with his parents. “Alone.”

He smiled, “Sure.”

We drove to our favorite place, a river close to where I worked. There was not anyone around, only the sounds of nature were our company. We had picked it out because of the overall sense of peace that seemed to radiate around the area. I could feel relaxed here, and he as well. But there was not a relaxing atmosphere in the air while we stood there facing each other. I felt rather restless, perhaps even nervous.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.

“I had a good time,” he began, though there was something in his tone that was oddly distant.

“You did? I’m glad. I had a good time, too.” I said in reply, smiling.

“That wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be.”

“I told you everything would be fine, didn’t I? Did you have reason to doubt me?”

“Well, no.”

I laughed, “Oh, Aaron, you don’t sound too convincing.”

“Really? Then, my dear, what can I do to convince you?”

“Maybe a kiss?”

There was a hesitant look in his eye, and then he laid the question on me,“Is there a reason you wanted to speak to me all the way out here?”

“I…” I had expected it to come, but now that I actually had to open up I wasn’t sure I wanted to admit everything that was currently on my mind, that I had been suspicious, maybe even nervous, and could not place my finger on it.

There was a long pause. The shift in the atmosphere did nothing to assuage my unease, knots twisting in my stomach. I felt like running away for a moment, to just say never mind. But it had to be said.

I took in a deep breath, “I felt like you were distancing yourself from me the entire time. I just… I wanted to spend some time with you,a nd talk about our future.”

“I see…” Aaron said softly, “I’m sorry if I worried you in any way.” I didn’t like the way he was speaking to me… but I said nothing about it.

“It’s fine.” It was a lie. Why did I lie? “Let’s just enjoy ourselves, alright? You said you had fun, shouldn’t that be all that matters?”

“I suppose your right.” He chuckled. “Now, about that kiss. Shall we?” He held out his hand and winked.

I took his hand in mine and we walked over to the edge. As I peered over, I was mesmerized by the sheer steepness of the drop. It was amazing that there were no warnings about it, nothing preventing someone from falling over. I could feel a smile creeping onto my lips. Aaron didn’t seem to notice… something seemed off about him again. He was just staring out at the water.

By this point it really was beginning to bug me. How could I live out my life with someone who was uncomfortable around his wife? It was simply unacceptable in my eyes. Every single man I had slept with was the same way. They were unsure, and it tore us apart, it tore me apart, and that was why I knew I would never find the man of my dreams. It was a shame. Aaron was so wonderful and showed so much promise in the beginning. Why did they all have to be the same? It was heartbreaking, it truly was, all I wanted was someone I could trust…. Was that too much to ask?

I was overcome by rage. I should have known this was going to be a repeat! Why did I decide to try again? After all of these years, I guess I really will die a lonely, heartbroken old woman who was never able to find love.

So, without warning, I had pushed Aaron over the edge of the cliff. I watched him fall to his death. He stared up at me with a shocked expression. I grinned as his body impacted the water, knowing that I would never have to worry about any man aver again. I had even spit, though I was sure it would not reach him.

From that day forward, I decided to live as a lonely, heartbroken woman until the day I died. It seems that whatever higher power was out there decided from the start that life was just far more suitable for me in the end.

Said higher power had also decided that my actions were not going to be without consequence this time. Police had caught up with me a few months later. On the other hand, I had not expected to get away with murder yet again. There was a hearing, in which I had submissively pleaded guilty. I had nothing to lose anyway, so what did I care? To me, rotting in a cell meant I would no longer have to deal with the pain of falling in love.