Stepping out of the hospital in his white trench coat, Lord Endellion quickly shields his sensitive eyes from the sun and winces at the sheer loudness carrying on within his vibrant city. Still he lets out a small smile as children immediately recognize the young leader and run to him in a giant flock, chattering about everyday things and pestering with questions.
“Why is everyone tense?” A young teenager cautiously approaches as mothers curtly snatch the children away, eying the direction of the main capital with apprehensive eyes.
“Good morning, Namon.” Endellion smiles warmly at the black haired teen who nods slightly in acknowledgment.
“War is coming.” Namon states quietly, his entire body holding just a hint of tension while the Lord beckons him to follow as he makes his way through the semi-crowded streets.
'How are the children?” Endellion inquires softly while his slender fingers run through his wavy red hair just as Namon moves in closer, eyes dark with worry.
“I'm worried about one.” Namon finally relents with a long sigh. “She isn't accepted easily by the others and it's beginning to worry me.”
“I'll see what I can do.” Endellion finally ends the conversation as they reach the tallest tower in the city.
“Good luck, Lord Endellion.” Namon smiles briefly as the lord enters the tower with the fate of the prospering village and its citizens weighing down on his shoulders.
~.~.~
“Lady Eirlys, the plans have been put in place.” A young man faithfully kneels in front of the large oak desk where a young woman sits, scratching at a paper with a pen, a worried frown plastered on her angular face.
“The citizens will be evacuated upon our departure next week, Manson?” The man looks up startled at her sudden cold tone.
“Yes, milady.” Manson quickly assures her as he stands to leave upon noticing the distant gaze Lady Eirlys directs toward the village.
Just as he opens the door Manson bows in respect to Lord Endellion as he enters before exiting. The two siblings glance at each other for a short moment before Eirlys murmurs concerned, “How are they, brother?”
Endellion strides toward the window with a calm mask in place despite the gloom hanging like a cloud over them both.
“Hina will not make the night and Roja might last the week. The others are stable.” He reports, voice shaking just slightly when he spoke of Hina and Eirlys comes around the desk to place her slim hand reassuringly on his arm.
“They were protecting their dreams, brother.” She chokes out with a film of tears rapidly filling her red eyes.
“I know. But when we go to battle, who will remember us? How can we make sure our dreams don't fade?”
The murmured words weigh heavily in the air before she suggests carefully, “We could leave our memories in a journal if it keeps the future rebels from him.” The word him is thrown out with such venom Endellion blinks at his sister's sudden out of character harshness.
“We'll have to protect it somehow, but it should work.” He smiles after a few moments of silence before turning to the bookcase filling the large wall to his immediate right. Fingers trail the various books before stopping at a blank black leather bound notebook.
Taking the book from her brother with a small yet warm smile, Eirlys scrambles through the scattered paperwork to find a good pen before settling against the window and opens the notebook, the lives to be written down for their village to take heed and with a quick prayer that it would at least help she flips to the first page and begins to make the first letter with her brother leaning next to her, pen in hand watching for his own two cents to be added when time came.
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Greetings, I'm here, unasked but hopefully wanted, to review! I'll be very short.
Firstly, I'll be eager to read more, the plot seems interesting.
However, I can't really picture where this is set - the characters were described very aptly, but not the places.
More could also be added to the description of the characters, however, what is there has been, once again, done very well.
One nit-picky thing “Hina will not make the night and Roja might last the week. The others are stable.” He reports' should be “Hina will not make the night and Roja might last the week. The others are stable,” he reports.
Remember those commas, they're very annoying.
And one other thing that puzzled me -
“Good morning, Namon.” Endellion smiles warmly at the black haired teen who nods slightly in acknowledgment.
“War is coming.” Namon states quietly, his entire body holding just a hint of tension while the Lord beckons him to follow as he makes his way through the semi-crowded streets.
'How are the children?” Endellion inquires softly while his slender fingers run through his wavy red hair just as Namon moves in closer, eyes dark with worry.
In this block of text, Endellion ignores the pressing issue: namely, war. If he does it deliberately, no sign is shown of it.
Other than that, this was excellent.
Hope this helped, yours truly.
Wow, Very descriptive. This entire thing seems to give off a slight air of tension (as you no doubt intended.) and the emotions of the characters are realistic and natural. The feeling of a soon to be realized trouble is very pervading. I couldn't find any spelling errors, Nor grammar errors. I'm not sure What else to say, other than I look forward very much to reading the rest of it.