A tiny soul, with fur of gray,
Lost in the rain, a helpless stray.
Three siblings huddled, cold and small,
Fate brought them to us, a loving
sprawl.
You chose me, Gray, a bond so deep,
A mother's touch, a promise to keep.
My protector fierce, from shadows'
fright,
We chased the sunbeams, bathed in
light.
The call of freedom, the wild unknown,
Lured you outside, a world of your own.
Though less you stayed, love never
waned,
At the park's gate, your vigil
remained.
A fleeting chase, a forbidden flame,
We brought you home, whispered your
name.
Studies held us, days turned to weeks,
Your visits constant, gentle cheeks.
One hurried dash, a final plea,
Unknowing then, it'd be the last we'd
see.
The park, once joyful, held an empty
space,
No guardian there, with watchful gaze.
We searched and called, with hope so
frail,
But silence echoed, on the salty gale.
Gray, my friend, my loyal one,
You're forever cherished, the race is
run.
Though unseen now, in spirit you roam,
A watchful guardian, far from home.
In memories held, your love remains,
A purring ghost, whispering my name.
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138,733 Literary Works • 672,262 Reviews
Awww this is a sad poem. :'(
Anyway, here's some thoughts... I loved the lines that just embodied catdom. So like...
I just loved that because cats definitely make the darkness less scary, since you know they're out and about and prowling and so the sounds of the house creaking and everything could be a terrifying monster, BUT. Also, it could be a cute cuddly cat.
Also, the sunbeams and bathing in light are also so catlike too, so I really love that. I like to tell my old cat a sunCATcher when he does this, since he loves catching the light.
I also really liked this line...
Honestly, it's a great visual... three children around a tiny little gray fluffball, trying to save a cute little kitty. It's fantastic.
And oooooh no. That ending... :'(
So, some stuff you could improve! There are some lines in here that aren't necessarily clear to your average human, which probably make sense to you, but I'm not sure what you mean. I *think* in some of the middle stanzas that you're talking about how your cat would escape and then you would have to bring the cat back. But I feel like you could probably clarify this?
Also, you mention several times that Gray is a guardian of sorts... I would really like an image of how Gray was like a guardian and such, especially if you were to put it in a particular catlike way.
ANYWAY. I hope that helps! It truly was a lovely poem and I quite like how you did the rhyming scheme.
Hi! It's CATS here to leave a review! This really sparked interest since I'm so cat obsessed, let's splash in!
The start really is tragic. Seeing animals on the road like that? It's so heartwarming they got taken in.
The whole poem just radiates energy and love, like the sun warm on your face, so refreshing to read a poem like this. I also did one of my cat, and it feels so happy
This is my favorite part, the details are stunning, and its so gorgeous.
Aww, the end is so tragic, yet peaceful. I love how you wrote a poem to honor your cat Gray's life, you can feel the gratefulness from the narrator. The rhyming took effort, I can tell, and in the end, it makes the whole poem so smooth and easy to read.
I have nothing really else to say about it, but keep writing, your poems bring joy to my life and many others.
Happy EVERYTHING!
Love,
CATS
Thank you so much for the review! Glad you also like those cute lil' fluffy globs too!
Of COURSE I do!