Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Lyrics » Realistic


Oldies all I got

by SirTobes




 Verse 1
To the maximum temperature we turn it up
Just like taking drugs I don't give a fuck
But all o' them stoners down the back street
They don't know how to get back on their feet
And all 'em boys passing through at the high school
Electric hair and swear swear swear
Like little monsters, think they're the top o' the chain-
Until they get out to the real world
 
Chorus
(Hey!)
The real world 
(hey hey)
The real world
(hey hey)
Cause in the real world
(hey!)
The drugs 
(hey hey)
The drunk
(hey hey)
The hit and runs-
This all happens in the real world!
 
Verse 2
People say I'm talking the crap
Do they know what it's all about?
No! 
The teens, the 'dults, all I have is the old-
Telling me life stories and play'n bowls. 
All the rest, they just play, they go a-
Playing with the money, playing ain't that funny,
Cause they all blindsided and they just don't know-
What it's like in the real world!
 
Chorus
(Hey!)
The real world 
(hey hey)
The real world
(hey hey)
Cause in the real world
(hey!)
The drugs 
(hey hey)
The drunk
(hey hey)
The hit and runs-
This all happens in the real world!
 
Verse 3
They all turn to Ef Bee
Like they boys an' the hair
Telling each other about life-
And the folks and the jokes and the homeless pokes,
They all lost and spinning around.
While the youngs sit and they watch and they realize!
As the folks and the jokes and the homeless pokes,
They a spinning like a top on the wood.
Had  to much, just a bit too much, exposing the kids to this drunkness!
 
Bridge
So now what we all do?
(what we all do?)
When we don't know what to do,
(when we don't what to do)
We go a spin spin spin spin spin spin like the folks and the jokes and then we grow and we go to the pokes!
(Ha!)
 
Chorus
(Hey!)
The real world 
(hey hey)
The real world
(hey hey)
Cause in the real world
(hey!)
The drugs 
(hey hey)
The drunk
(hey hey)
The hit and runs-
This all happens in the real world!
 
Verse 4
Now we living on the streets, dancing at the feet, trying to earn a few bucks.
Hanging from the ceiling, dropping like women at a barfight.
We living on the streets, now we rocking to the beats, getting our hands on some paper.
Now we right some shit down about life for the kids, 
So they don't end up like us.
But now it's all done we gon' have some a fun.
I've turned into the stoner on the corner.
 
Chorus
(Hey!)
The real world 
(hey hey)
The real world
(hey hey)
Cause in the real world
(hey!)
The drugs 
(hey hey)
The drunk
(hey hey)
The hit and runs-
This all happens in the real world!


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1455 Reviews


Points: 82907
Reviews: 1455

Donate
Sun Jun 24, 2012 8:29 pm
JabberHut wrote a review...



Hi, Tobes!

You've an interesting piece here, definitely. In fact, the rhythm was very easily detectable just with the song. It all flowed so well! Kudos on that.

Before I start, it would be awesome to put a warning on the top of your work in the future if it has something not appropriate for younger viewers. For instance, the F-bomb qualifies as a 18+ (or R) rating. One day, the rating system will actually be functional, but for now, the warning label's our temporary idea! No worries. :D

So I'm having a hard time with the title. It doesn't make grammatical sense even as a fragment, so it's hurting me. xD Therefore, I can't tie it into the song.

I didn't get much of an impression about old people, though. In fact, I felt like a teenager was the speaker. I don't know what kind of old people you're talking to, but none of the ones I know would go ranting about drugs and alcohol like this song does. xD Maybe I'm missing the point. The start of the song did this very well and obviously in the sight of a more mature individual, but it kinda got a bit carried away later on.

I liked the picture you painted through the piece, though. It was a very clear image with lots of details, and it helped further the point that the "real world" is kind of stupid.

I didn't quite understand the bridge, particularly the spinning part.

But really, my only complaint is the speaker. I don't quite understand who they are and what they're trying to say. I'm hearing a lot of the same thing: "lulz they're drunk and stoned and homeless and they're future's kinda gone now lulz." Like it's meant to mock people. Isn't there any other way to strengthen the speaker's character? Give them a little more voice of an old person. I don't know how else to explain it. xD

I do find it funny that an "oldie" is the speaker of a fast-paced song.

The song was interesting overall. Not my cup of tea, but it certainly was interesting. It had some good moments while others were more like, "Where are you going with that, speaker?" I'd take a read through to make sure every line has a purpose to the song's message. No tangents! ;)

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

Spoiler! :
Image




Random avatar

Points: 740
Reviews: 12

Donate
Fri Jun 15, 2012 6:49 am
Murmurations wrote a review...



Haha I really like this! It seems like a fun sing to listen to while in the car with your friends. The flow is nice and natural and it would sound great to some music. I think it'd be a punk song or something :D

Is that something you had in mind?




User avatar
39 Reviews


Points: 2209
Reviews: 39

Donate
Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:42 pm
laylaflame wrote a review...



Pretty good song here:) You have a nice structure and beat going. Well, I imagined a loud drum beat and some cool guitars in my head.. kinda like a rock/ punk song.

There were some bits I really liked, such as the last two line in verse 4:P It was good how you related it to other context in the song (the stoner) and reminded the reader/(listner) of the beginning, while giving it a little twist.
In fact I liked all of verse 4:) and the chorus, you have a nice rhythm in it.

However I was a little bit lost in the middle as to what the message was, and who exactly your meant to be.. (an oldie?)
Personally I dont like the bridge, but they just be because I couldn't imagine a beat there.
Otherwise, I could easlily see this being a great song with the right singer and music to accompany it.

oh and I think if you have to music stop right before the last line, that would be cool. :P just a suggestion..




SirTobes says...


Thanks for the review! The 'oldies' is pretty straight forward. It means old people. In verse 2, there's a reference too teenagers 'dults (adults) and oldies. It pretty much says the adults and teens are wasting their lives and tutus oldies are the only sensible ones. They are all he's got.




I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
— Orson Welles