heartbreak for 400
you can only offer them fleeting comfort, so brief it’s a spark of light that was there and then gone. you are that spark; you never last long enough and you never manage to keep them safe.
what is accepting my defeat?
struggle for 800
this is trying to find your place in their life. still searching. you fit together perfectly and yet it’s so easy to take you apart. there’s a space for someone but you’re afraid it’s not meant for you.
what is knowing i don’t seem to belong?
hopelessness for 1600
you watch them sink in an ocean of nightmares while they cry out for help. you want to be the one to reach out to them but your own hands are shaking. maybe this is what you see in your own darkest visions; you are drowning in an entirely different way.
what is being truly powerless?
things i should have done differently for 1200
shatter your life and watch the shards fall into oblivion. try to put it back together and you’ll see you are bleeding from the sharp edges. the scars will linger but can only be seen when everyone but the voices in your head has gone to sleep. you’ll be left with this.
what is the regret that haunts me at night?
why i’m a catastrophic mess for 800
you try to achieve so much, but your dreams are torn from you and suddenly you’ve lost your wings. you’re bound in chains and pushed off the cliff of failure.
what is falling but trying to fly?
love for 2000
letting it burn you out like a candle, shining bright until there's nothing left to ignite. you will be nothing more than ashes when it’s all over; you will never glow so radiantly again.
what is loving someone too much?
final category: my indecision
you are a fire and you set ablaze anyone that gets too close. when walking away could save them from your flames but break two hearts at once, you’ll be faced with this. you can ask your stars for help but only you can find the way out in the end and every outcome leads to pain.
what is the choice i will never be able to make?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hey! <3
This poem is absolutely, breath-takingly beautiful. I'm crying right now; it's that beautiful. I want it to stay on the front page forever.
Your idea for using Jeopardy, the most famous answer-is-actually-the-question game that is currently known to man, is absolute genius. only you could've come up with that.
I can tell these questions and answers are all unique and fit things that you already know. One thing I would've done (had I somehow come up with this myself, which I find unlikely given that I am based in the typical ABAB format and variants thereof), I might've thrown in a curve ball (I think I'm using that phrase correctly? I'm not big on sports terms ;-;). It would've been neat to see something where you have the question, but don't have the answer. Yes, yes-- that goes against everything Jeopardy stands for-- but I think it proves a point: “It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settling a question without debating it.” Monsieur Joubert was a French essayist; one of the great philosophes and moralists of the 18th Century. This quote, I think, reemphasizes what I'm trying to say.
I hope that makes sense XD
I love you, Shadow.
<3
Ahhh, thank you so much!! Love you too <3
I really love this piece of work. I love the fact that the style of it implies that all of those questions have answers that can only be based upon experience. The way you answered them was in a very factual way, and to put emotions down so concisely is very relatable. I loved the one 'what is knowing I don't seem to belong'.
I like the fact that you've also used semi-colons in various places. It also seems to build up to the last question 'what is the choice that I will never be able to make' which seems to be the conclusion that piece is trying to get to.
Maybe just remember capital letters, but it's not that important and it actually represents the casualness of pain, of grief, and how complex the answers are yet how simply put they can be described.
Thanks for the feedback! Capitalization can actually be a stylistic choice for poetry, and I thought the lack of it worked better for this poem. c:
Yeah awesome I totally agree
this is fantastic <3
Thank you! :) <3
OH MY GOODNESS SHADOW this is such a gorgeous piece and super unique too!! I love the format and all of the answers and questions you posed. This is such an amazing piece, I love it so much <3 <3 <3
Ahhhh, star, that means a lot to me, thank you! Your latest poem is awesome as well, I forgot to say that <3 <3 <3
I am lost for words, SilverNight. The format of your prose, and the intricacy of choice of words, is beautiful. This piece is not quite poetry or short story, it's in its own wonderful category of it's own. I am quite curious as to how you came up with this piece. You colored this piece with so much figurative language and imagery, and it all works well with the emotions and the message you seek to bring.
This was my favorite part. It's so relatable and angst, but not the annoying stereotypical way, but in the very poetic artistic way. I'm ultimately very impressed with what you've come up with.
I like the lack of capitalization, for some reason, it seems to add an extra layer to the work that I can't describe. I haven't seen anything that I deem unnecessary or any grammatical errors, so give yourself a pat on the back for that.
Outstanding job!
Thank you so much for the awesome review! :)
Your welcome. What was your inspiration for this? Music? A book? Movie?
I guess I just had to process some of my own feelings last night%u2014 there was plenty to write about.
Oh love this idea and format!! Well done! This is a great read.
Thank you, alliyah! That means so much to me. <3