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maybe the raindrops will break the windshield

by SilverNight

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47 Reviews

Points: 251
Reviews: 47

Fri Sep 24, 2021 6:48 pm
LilPWilly says...

I'm curious, who's the boy?
This is such a pretty poem.

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79 Reviews

Points: 1701
Reviews: 79

Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:18 am
AilahEvelynMae wrote a review...

Hi there, Ellie-Mae here for a quick review!

Wishing you a happy day/evening/morning/night/whatever is applicable to your part of the world! First off, please remember that my reviews are my own opinions :) I’ll give honest feedback, but nothing at all is intended to hurt or discourage you in any way at all! <3 So, without waiting any longer, let’s get right into it and digest the spectabulous piece of literary work!

this is awesome! it sounds so pretty and it is beautifully written. th last sentence is definitely an eye-catcher!

"or maybe ill listen to enjoy the silence instead"

this has such a mysterious feeling to it and that makes is absolutely extraordinary:)


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136 Reviews

Points: 15350
Reviews: 136

Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:22 pm
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FireEyes wrote a review...

Hey Silver! Incoming review!

Here we got some great poetry. I hope this review will do it some justice! On with the review!!

I'll start out with critique. I have a slight problem with the punctuation, not in the way that it was used, but why it was used. Most of what you have are complete thoughts, but I feel like they don't really need to be separated into "sentences." Like how thoughts run through your head when you're half asleep in the passenger seat on a long car ride. They just continue with no end in sight.

here, the river moves on, the trees do not.
This line doesn't click in my head as some of your other lines did. I think it has to do with the flow of a river. But if you're in a moving car, as I assume you are, the trees would be "moving" too.

But that's all for critique. Let me praise your work! As I said in my critique, your lines go on like thoughts you have when you're half asleep. I really like this aspect of this poem. Every Winter I usually drive to AZ and I'm lost in my thoughts and they way you wrote reminded me of all those great car rides and exciting imaginary adventured I've been on.

and imagine you're to my side if i turn my head.
I mean who hasn't done this. This line alone makes the mood feel like Van Gough's original "Starry Night." The darkness of the road (perhaps), the shaking of the car over small rocks, the long and sharp turns, I can feel all of this motion while pretending someone I want is there. Amazing!

But that's all I have for today. I hope you found some of it useful! I don't think I've reviewed and of your works before. I'm glad this was the first one! Anyway byeeeeeeeeee<3


A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.
— Paul Simon