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What Silence Actually Is?

by Shakthi


I thought it’s the absence of sound,

But there’s still my mind which bores.

I felt it’s what the deaf heard,

But there’s yet their heart which threats.

-

Then what silence actually is?

Is that the Language of Breeze,

With which I always freeze?

Is that the Music of Seconds,

Which plays itself as it fleets?

Is that the Song of the Nature,

Which stuns me with its feature?

-

I search for Silence,

For what it actually is.

It seems to be getting nearer,

But something pushes away the answer.

I’m there in the center of this infinite circle,

Getting lost and finding myself in a miracle.

-

---Quest Continues---

-

Thunder roars and lightning showers!

Waves clash and waters splash!

Storms hit and forests split!

Stars dash and planets smash!

-

Universe is just banging around,

And Silence is just walking along.

Nature has setup mixers over,

And I’ve to put up amplifiers there.

-

It’s not only the things I see,

But also the things inside me,

Which always hips and hops.

-

I hear my hammering heart,

I feel my chattering teeth,

I allow my thumping lungs,

And, I follow my staggering legs.

-

Do I know what silence is?

It’s not cold, which make me shiver,

But the stalking Fear.

It’s not fire, which set me quiver,

But the sneaking Anger.

-

I need an escape from my emotions,

For they started controlling me.

I need an eternal Peace,

And so I need some vacuum space.

-

And now, what Silence actually is?

I think I found..! (EUREKA!!!)

-

It’s Silence, when I can control my emotions.

It’s Silence, when I can listen to my insights.

It’s Silence, when I have nothing to blame.

It’s Silence, when I make my thoughts gleam.

-

---Seconds Fleet---

-

And now, I can say that I’m silent…

'Cause, I see the world,

So beautiful than ever.

'Cause, I feel my mind,

So grateful than ever.

-

It’s just that…

You don’t have to close your ears,

But open your thoughts which glow.

You don’t have to shut your words,

But just let them flow.

You don’t have to hide your emotions,

But seek your ‘real you’ to show.

-

You don’t have to search out for silence,

For it’s just within you.

Throw the mask you wear,

And find what you really are.

It is going to get differ,

When you find who you are.

-

---Silence..! Is just finding out your own way!---

-

World has its own way,

For it can throw you in its bay.

It’s quest for you to play,

To find your own way.

And, there I conclude my tale,

IN MY OWN WAY..!

With the meaning of Silence,

As 'the part of my lovely life'.


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User avatar
271 Reviews


Points: 8
Reviews: 271

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Sun Oct 30, 2016 5:02 pm
Charm wrote a review...



Hey! I'm here to review your poem.

I thought it’s the absence of sound,
Bbut there’s still my mind which bores.
I felt it’s what the deaf heard,
Bbut there’s yet their heart which threats.

I found this stanza confusing which is not a good sign as it's the first stanza. I don't understand the meaning. Also why is the first word bolded and italicized?

Then what silence actually is silence?
Is that the Language of Breeze,
Wwith which I always freeze?
Is that the Music of Seconds,
Wwhich plays itself as it fleets?
Is that the Song of the Nature,
Wwhich stuns me with its feature?

I found the repetition unnecessary and you don't need to capitalize every beginning of every line. I'm not going to correct the rest of your punctuation because that is a waste of effort on my part. I just want you to know that I find the bolding and bad punctuation distracting and adds to the confusion. I don't understand what this poem is about.

marmalade




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1080 Reviews


Points: 125
Reviews: 1080

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Sun Oct 09, 2016 4:21 pm
Kaylaa wrote a review...



This is Kaos here for a review.

The first thing I noticed about this poem is the amount of punctuation marks you use along with ellipses and overall I think most of them could be taken out. I didn't really see why they needed to be here when a period would do just fine. If you were trying to go for punctuation and variation of it, you can use semicolons and dashes and mess around with that, but a good rule of thumb is if you're going to use punctuation marks, only use one or two in a poem. It also really depends on the length but they made the work feel pretentious which I don't think that was what you were going for. With it, it did feel like "I have figured out something new that nobody else has!"

I thought it’s the absence of sound,

But there’s still my mind which bores.

I felt it’s what the deaf heard,

But there’s yet their heart which threats.


The fourth line doesn't really make sense and I think you could use some rewording in this stanza.

One of the things that I didn't really think you needed to do is capitalize the word 'silence' because it's not a person and it feels like you're trying to make it more important than it already is. The message that you're trying to get across could have been done without the caps or exaggerated ellipses and rather told in a down-to-earth manner because this intercepts the message and makes it harder to take seriously for the reader.

The other words that are capitalized also don't need to be and you actually highlight when you just use words with emotions attached to them like "anger" or "peace" but you don't explain what they mean to you. A small way that would even help is finding synonyms that better describe what you mean. For example, I wouldn't call 'rage' irritation or 'irritation' rage because they're not the exact same. But really, I think what overall needs to be focused on is the imagery which I'll get to.

The rhyming here doesn't really feel like rhyming and most of them feel off a beat because they're not. I think you should take it out just for the sake that it isn't really needed and the poem isn't benefiting from it. It could be replaced with a better focus on the imagery here instead of it jumping around a lot it seems. If you insist on keeping the rhyming, search "RhymeZone" because you can generally find rhymes there and a list of them instead of not knowing if something rhymes or not.

To the imagery. I thought this poem was too broad for my liking and didn't dig down into any details. What does silence /sound/ like? Think about imagery like using your five senses and then apply that to the poem. I don't think of silence like you do, that's another factor that goes into it. Is it good? Is it bad? I would write silence with a more negative effect with it because of the blank noise tearing into my ears and it becoming something screeching. The silence giving my thoughts a place to think when I don't always want them to have free roaming. Give us more depth in the poem.

I hope I helped and have a great day!





"You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things..."
— Gone With the Wind