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A Fleeting Eternity - Chapter Eight

by ShadowVyper


Ky was silent for a long moment, trying to think through what Alcan had said. She knew he was a good friend, but she’d never suspected that he would risk his own safety to protect her secret. “Wait. So, you knew even before the soldiers came to look for me?”

“Well, no,” he admitted. “I had no reason to suspect you before that. But that made all the pieces fall into place… and made me like you more.”

Ky looked up at his smirk and smiled despite herself.

“I still can’t believe you did that.”

Ky thought back to that moment, shaking her head. It had been one of the most stressful moments of her life, and she still remembered it clear as could be. She’d have taken another interrogation by the soldiers over another moment with Aleth, any day.

The soldiers came stomping into the stable. Ky peered out of the stall, then quickly ducked back inside, eyes going wide as her heart instantly began to race. Why were the soldiers here? It’d been a full week since she’d come to the stables – had she done something wrong? Made some goof-up that tipped Broer or Alcan off, and made them call for the soldiers?

“Everybody in the hall now!” a booming voice echoed through the stable.

Ky pressed her back against the wall, mind racing for her next move. Should she obey and go out to the hall? Was her disguise strong enough to stand up to their scrutiny, if the soldiers were here looking for her? Or would it be better to make a run for it and see how far she got before she took an arrow to the back? Ky looked up at the rafters overhead, desperately trying to think of a way that she could heft herself up to them without being seen.

“Is this everyone?”

“Missing my newest hand.” Broer’s voice carried.

Ky sighed silently. So much for hiding without her absence being noticed. She took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway, lifting her chin and striding towards where the soldiers were standing with Broer and Alcan. Running could always happen as a backup plan, if her disguise failed.

The soldier in charge looked her over as she approached, then roughly gestured for her to stand next to Alcan. He barked orders at his men to begin searching every inch of the stable as he stood in front of them, then turned his attention on Broer.

“Seen anything out of the ordinary?”

“No, sir,” Broer answered.

“No unusual people milling around the barn? Anyone trying to stow away? Equipment missing?”

“Nope.”

“Well if you see anything out of the ordinary, you let me know.”

“Yes, sir,” Broer answered. He hesitated a moment. “Can I ask what – or who – it is that you’re looking for?”

“A girl went missing from the harem,” the officer answered, snapping at one of his soldiers that approached, ordering him into another stall to search.

“Must be a looker, to make the king search this hard for her.”

“Nah,” the officer waved his hand dismissively. “Just a troublemaker. She stabbed a lieutenant when she was being brought in from the mountains last week, and it’s come to our attention that she’s somehow escaped from the harem. Have to figure out where the little jerk is.”

“I see.”

Ky kept her gaze fixed on the floor in front of her, keeping her expression carefully neutral. As long as her heart didn’t rip through her chest, everything was going to be okay. But at this moment, with how hard it beat against her ribcage, she wasn’t sure if it was going to stay put or not.

“You just got these two hands?”

“Yes, sir,” Broer answered. “We only care for the king’s and his guests’ horses, so I generally only have one assistant at a time. Alcan is about to head into the castle to be a palace boy, so he’s helping me train my new boy.”

“That’d be this one?”

Ky saw the officer’s feet come into view. She still didn’t look up, mouth dry, desperately trying to swallow back the fear that bubbled up inside her.

“That it would.”

“How long have you had him?”

“About a week.”

“You get brought in from the Mountains, too?” the officer asked. He smacked Ky’s shoulder with the back of his hand, hard enough to make it smart, but not hard enough to really hurt her. “Look at me when I talk to you, boy.”

Ky finally looked up, forcing herself to take a deep breath. The soldier’s face was as tired and weathered as every other soldier’s, and his blue eyes seemed bored. Suddenly they sharpened as he looked down at her, narrowing suspiciously.

“I say you from the Mountains, boy?”

“Yes, sir,” she answered gruffly, forcing her voice to be confident.

“How’d you get so banged up?” he asked suspiciously, gesturing at her face.

She took another deep breath. She hadn’t had a mirror since the haircut, to have any idea how beat up she still looked. Her left eye was still a bit tender, but she felt mostly better, and wasn’t sure how long the bruises would linger.

“My mouth runs faster than my fists can move, sir,” she answered. “I smarted off to one of the older boys in my sector and he didn’t take too kindly.”

“See, now, that’s mighty suspect, boy,” the officer said, giving her a shove backward. She stumbled into the wall behind her. “You being a brand-new boy, beat up the same way that girl would be about now.”

“I ain’t no girl,” Ky spat.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out, ain’t there?”

Ky’s head was light, chest tight. She forced herself to keep scowling at him, resisting the urge to look for a path to escape. If she was going to make a run for it, she had to have the element of surprise. Otherwise he’d just grab her and slam her into the wall again, if he suspected she’d try it.

“Drop your trousers.”

“You wanna have a look at my boy?” Ky asked skeptically.

“That gonna be a problem?” the soldier asked, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword as he loomed over her threateningly. “Don’t got one to show me?”

“No, I got one,” Ky spat. “Just didn’t realize that’s the sort of welcome I’d get here in the City. Ain’t you even gonna buy me dinner first, before you go demanding I take my pants off?”

The officer’s fist came towards her face too fast for her to dodge it if she’d wanted to. It slammed into her face so hard it knocked her off balance, driving her into the ground in a single motion. She grabbed her face, pain ripping through her entire skull.

The officer cursed at her.

“I didn’t mean nothing by it,” Ky said, spitting out a mouthful of blood from her split lip. “No shame in looking at another man’s member, if that’s what gets you off. I might even let you touch it if you ask real nice.”

The officer’s kicked her, hard, in the ribs. She coughed, clutching her side, writhing on the ground as she struggled to draw a breath. “I see what you mean about that smart mouth.”

The soldier stomped down on her crotch. She howled, clutching at herself as he removed his foot, writhing and muttering curses. It hadn’t hurt near as badly as the first kick had, but she had to put on a show if she wanted to survive this – the only question was how dramatic of a show she should put on, to convince a bunch of people who would actually know what that’d feel like to be kicked there if she were as male as she claimed.

Another soldier walked up just then. “Stable is clear, sir.”

“You best learn to mind your betters, boy,” the officer snarled, kicking her again for good measure, then turned towards Broer. “You see anything out of the ordinary, let me know.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I just can’t believe it actually worked,” Ky said. “I thought my cover was blown for sure.”

Alcan chuckled. “It was well played, for sure, getting him so flustered he forgot to make you obey his order. But made me start wondering, since you never did produce any evidence that you’re Kyber instead of Kybernia.”

Ky choked on a laugh that escaped. “Kybernia?”

“Well I don’t know what your real name is. I’m guessing it’s not Kyber.”

“Kylia,” she offered gently. The name felt strange to say after so many years of being Kyber. She looked down. “Ky is what everyone always called me, though.”

“Ky works,” Alcan answered.

They were silent for several long moments. Ky focused on keeping her breathing even and regular, desperately trying not to let herself obsess about the time with Aleth. That’s not how she’d imagined her first time would be.

“I’m going to die.”

“It was just sex,” Alcan answered. “I’m sure it wasn’t fun, but it’s not going to kill you.”

“What about the king?” Ky asked, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. “Aleth’s going to tell him that I’m actually Kybernia instead of Kyber.”

“I don’t know that he’ll particularly care,” Alcan answered. “I mean… you can do the job, so what does it matter if you’re actually a girl?”

“I’m supposed to be in his harem,” she said, curling up into an even smaller ball. She couldn’t even imagine what the other girls from her township must have gone through these past few years. She hated a single time. “I don’t think he’ll appreciate that I adopted a false persona for the sole purpose of avoiding his bedroom.”

“There’s no guarantee that he’s going to tell the king,” Alcan pointed out. “Don’t stress about things that haven’t even happened yet.”

“What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to go right back to work and pretend like nothing happened,” Alcan answered. “There’s not much more you can do. Just take things one step at a time. Come on.”

Alcan bent down and helped Ky get up, then put his arm around her shoulders and walked her until they were at the ladder. He let her climb down first, then wrapped her in a tight hug for several moments then stepped away.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, Ky,” Alcan said. “But I hope this is all behind you, and that Aleth will leave you alone now that he’s gotten what he wanted. I’ll see what I can do in the meantime to help.”


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Fri May 08, 2020 4:54 pm
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mellifera wrote a review...



Shady! :D

Ky looked up at his smirk


ahh, the infamous Smirk is back, but this time not from Aleth.

Ky sighed silently. So much for hiding without her absence being noticed. She took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway, lifting her chin and striding towards where the soldiers were standing with Broer and Alcan. Running could always happen as a backup plan, if her disguise failed.

The soldier in charge looked her over as she approached, then roughly gestured for her to stand next to Alcan. He barked orders at his men to begin searching every inch of the stable as he stood in front of them, then turned his attention on Broer.


For soldiers searching the place, and for Broer to have just said the new hand was missing (loud enough that she could hear, as I'm sure she's close by), they have very little reaction to her appearing? They don't question her arrival, or that she was hiding. Broer doesn't say anything. I didn't realise she had come out at first, which mostly is my fault for reading too fast, but I was expecting more of a reaction when she stepped out.

“A girl went missing from the harem,” the officer answered, snapping at one of his soldiers that approached, ordering him into another stall to search.


OOH so she was already in the harem and escaped then. I really like all the insight that we're getting into what happened/her past here!!

“You just got these two hands?”


I know what he means but out of context,,, lol

“No, I got one,” Ky spat. “Just didn’t realize that’s the sort of welcome I’d get here in the City. Ain’t you even gonna buy me dinner first, before you go demanding I take my pants off?”


OOH shots fired. I'm wondering if something changed between then and now that made Ky less mouthy, or if she genuinely figured out that, as she put it, "her mouth runs faster than her fists" and being quiet and unassuming worked out better for her.

,,,or I see she might have learned right after that.

Alcan chuckled. “It was well played, for sure, getting him so flustered he forgot to make you obey his order. But made me start wondering, since you never did produce any evidence that you’re Kyber instead of Kybernia.”

Ky choked on a laugh that escaped. “Kybernia?”

“Well I don’t know what your real name is. I’m guessing it’s not Kyber.”

“Kylia,” she offered gently. The name felt strange to say after so many years of being Kyber. She looked down. “Ky is what everyone always called me, though.”


I loved this exchange <3 I love goofy characters, or those who try to find some humour in tense situations, and that's being reflected right now in Alcan.

“It was just sex,”


*stares in the camera, deadpan*

“Aleth’s going to tell him that I’m actually Kybernia instead of Kyber.”


it's a very dark prospect but I do enjoy that she's continuing the Goof

“But I hope this is all behind you, and that Aleth will leave you alone now that he’s gotten what he wanted. I’ll see what I can do in the meantime to help.”


ONE CAN ONLY HOPE also I, too, hope that Alcan can help her out. I don't know what he would be able to do, but I HOPE SO. she needs it.


OKAY, so something very interesting to me is that, rather than a rule/law/etc implemented into the worldbuilding, where falsifying your identity or not being allowed, as a girl, to work in the stables is punishable by death, it seems to be a case of an unreliable narrator? Which I'm VERY much into and here for. Ky is imagining the worst case scenario, and she's been thinking about the possibility for so long that it's become reality to her. Or, at least, from what Alcan said, that's how I'm interpreting it.

And we got to learn about Ky's past! I'm definitely still wondering why she was brought here, and what the circumstances were that led her to stabbing the lieutenant were, but I am starting to suspect that it might be that the King sends out men to collect those who will serve him and bring them back. This is my Current Theory but I suppose we'll find out!


Anyway, this was a nice change of pace from all the High Intensity Scary Gross Stuff that's been going on, and I'm really glad that Ky gets to just talk to someone she trusts right now. She needs friend <3

I hope you have a wonderful time and I'll see you around again soon!




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Tue Jan 21, 2020 10:11 pm
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JabberHut wrote a review...



Oh now this was lovely!

This was a moment we really needed. I like that we're continuing where we left off in the previous chapter, so we can dive more into this relationship and take a break from all the scariness she had been facing beforehand. Plus, we get more Alcan, and he's slowly becoming a dreamboat, I'm just sayin'.

The flashback was awesome. It's another REALLY strong example of her personality, and it's actually made me super hungry for MORE. This is the hero that I really want to see more of, and now I'm detecting Alcan is gonna be that support we all need to make that happen.

You gave a lot of thought to this flashback because once again, it's thriving on these details that wouldn't have even occurred to me. The way you handled the soldier punching and kicking Ky, how he used that to confirm she was a guy and the thought process she went through properly play that out -- it was all done really well. It was very believable, and I was really impressed with how that scene played out!

I wonder if her lines in the flashback were really just for show, and that's why we haven't really seen this side of her yet. Like she was trying extra hrad to seem masculine, and idiotic courage seemed like just the way to do it! :D PLUS, it proves as a great distraction for the soldier from his original objective. It was very calculating of Ky to think through all this and pull it off so swimmingly.

I could even picture Alcan hiding a laugh or smile due to her sharp tongue.

I was also amazed that the stable staff is so small. I figured there'd be more horses, like the king would have more than one at his disposal at the very least. One riding horse but probably some processional horses too. There's probably other nobles in the palace as well or even family that would use horses. So it's interesting that they only take care of the king's horse and his guests' horses. It really helps downsize the palace and where they work because I think I've been imagining it far bigger than it actually is. It's probably just a large estate as opposed to a castle.

It seems a bit soon for Ky to think she's going to die, unless she tends to exaggerate like that. Still, I'm glad Alcan shut that down real quick. Actually, this scene here really shows how straightforward a thinker Alcan is. He gets straight to the point and thinks reasonably with a cool head. DEFINITELY someone Ky needs, I think. I like how these personalities are balancing out so far.

This inside joke about Kybernia is just hysterical. I freaking love this.

Alcan's gruff response with "it's just sex" disturbs me a little bit, but I think it plays well with his bluntness. At least, I think he seems blunt. He might not think through things before he says them or his ignorance might be at play here, but he's at least honest and straight to the point. Plus, it's a blunt way to diffuse her comment about dying. xD

The idea that the king might not care is SO HUGE HERE. Alcan is a PALACE BOY and has been working at the palace in general for longer than Ky. Alcan is now diffusing Ky's fear of the king with such a simple expression that once again makes me wonder what is the fear of Aleth telling anyone about her? If the king would see through this accusation and see her value as a stable boy... that means he thinks reasonably, too. He sees value in his staff, despite how gruff he might be in volunteering his servants for his guests to use. With such a reasonable leader, I wonder how the abduction was reasoned out in the king's mind? Why was what he did a good idea if he can (hypothetically) see value in a female stable boy? I REALLY look forward to learning more about this guy and perhaps even interact with him more!




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**My Thoughts**

Wowowowowow. This was a good chapter. I loved it, probably my favorite one yet! I really liked the flashback, she's such a smart mouth.

**Formatting, Grammar, Punctuation, and Capitalization**

Do I even need to go over this section? Perfect as always.

**Plot**

That flashback was awesome. It added the fact that Kylia (I like that name) has already tricked a soldier before and that maybe Makata will be kind to her. I really hope she avoids the harem and stays in the stables.

**Characters**

Ky: Brilliant, as always. She is also a smart mouth; I love her little retorts and such. Overall, this character is just amazing. There is so much detail that has been put into her.

Alcan: A wonderful friend. From the last chapter and this one, it seems like he picks up on small things. Her not wanting him to see her dress, for instance.

The Soldier: Idiot. How can you forget to make someone follow your orders? Jeez. And kicking and punching Ky? That's a bit much.

**Quick Review**

I LOVE THIS BOOK SO GODDAM MUCH.

Keep on writing, I love this book so much. Have a great January!





The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.
— Lemony Snicket