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The Apocalyptic Events of Fearlessness

by Serrurie


Humans are vile creatures. They lie, cheat, steal, do whatever they can that is best for them. And so, as many people seem to do in this chaotic whirlwind of a book, they stray away from their own kind. They run away from the cities, which once were good for the economy. They destroy their homes, which once held food and cherished memories. And they hide, in places which were once full of joy. That is how any good story starts. With the humans, seemingly in terror.

Our story starts with the least terrified character of all.

“Ruby!” a boy yelled, searching through his bedroom. The little dog had left a trail of red, muddy fur, but Silas could not seem to find her. A part of him was nervous that perhaps she had been eaten by the neighbours, but that seemed impossible. The neighbours still had a cat that they refused to eat.

The boy found the small red dog hiding under his bed, trembling. “There you are, sweet little Ruby!” He cradled her in his arms, patting bher head. He knew why she was so terrified of him.

On the balcony was a boiling pot of water sitting over a campfire.


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25 Reviews

Points: 465
Reviews: 25

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Wed Sep 20, 2023 12:09 am
farq4d wrote a review...



Hi there, I’m here to leave a quick review.

Thanks for sharing this, I really enjoyed reading it. It reads like a good intro for a longer story. One thing I love about the story is how you openly tell the reader what is going to happen at the first sentence: “Humans are vile creatures.” Nonetheless, I still found myself surprised when I got to the end of the story.

As the reader, I felt led astray when the narrator described the boy’s worry that the neighbors might have eaten the dog. Since even the neighbors refused to eat their own pet, it was more of a shock to find that the protagonist of our story was the one willing to eat their own pet. The contrast of Silas calling Ruby his “sweet little Ruby,” right before implying that he will be eating his dog really hammers home the claim in the beginning of the story.

Overall, great work. I look forward to read more about Silas!




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229 Reviews

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Mon Sep 04, 2023 8:03 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hey, foxmaster here for a review!
Image
(I'm taggin' @Rose here because this her amazing banner)
What I know
so, this seems like the world after an apocalypse, where everybody eats their pets? I feel like the world-building here wasn't that powerful and I'm still pretty confused.
room for improvements
Here, the beginning part is a really rather long paragraph, while the other paragraphs here are really short, and it messes up the way of writing here, if you get what I mean.
Also, in the second- to last paragraph, you wrote bher in stead of her.
what I like about this
Okay, let me say that the ending completely shocked me, really. I wasn't really expecting it, even though you spoke about the neighbors that ate animals, but I didn't really pay much attention to it. This story was the definition of short and sweet.... without actually being sweet, if you get what I mean.
overall
overall, this was a powerful, dark piece, and I greatly enjoyed it, and look forward to reading more of your work.
happy writing,
-Foxmaster




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162 Reviews

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Sun Sep 03, 2023 10:58 pm
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Rose wrote a review...



Greetings Storyteller,

Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye a compelling story titled “The Apocalyptic Events of Fearlessness” that deserves a good review. So without further ado, let’s begin.

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I. It all begins at the beginning
Your work radiates a sense of upcoming chaos, doom and transformation. The compelling start of the story immediately draws the reader in, creating a chilling and engaging atmosphere. I must say, you used a good title, a bit too long, but it does explain the whole situation without giving much away.
Themes of fear, human nature and survival are introduced. It has been proven that people will do anything, and almost anything to survive.

II. The Door to Improvement
If you ever write a sequel, which I really hope, you could consider focusing on the character development of the main character. Additionally, expand on the world-building by providing more details about the apocalyptic setting.
Definitely add plot twists and moral dilemmas, these will add to the layer of tension of the story.
These suggestions are offered with the intention of boosting the story’s depth and impact, so I hope they are helpful.

III. When All is Said and Done
The story offers a promising beginning to what could be an engaging and thought-provoking series. With its captivating start, chilling moments, and a world filled with potential, there is much to look forward to in the sequel. I hope you continue it.

That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!

Yours in Puzzling Shadows,
Rose




Serrurie says...


So glad you liked my story! But this was simply and unfinished world I summed up as a short story and posted on here. But thanks for the advice!



Rose says...


Of course, it was a pleasure! I appreciate the clarification and I understand that your story is a brief glimpse into a new world.
Good luck with your future writing projects and welcome to YWS!



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209 Reviews

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Sun Sep 03, 2023 10:52 pm
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AmayaStatham wrote a review...



Salutations, curious mind!



Image

Rinisha here, ready to dive into the pages of this intriguing story. 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause we're diving into my review magic! ✨

The Good Stuff:

First of all, let's talk about the parts that really rocked!

Your title is really strong and that is the thing that drove me to read the story. You have already made a great start leaving me wondering what will happen next. I like the name you’ve chosen for Silas and the one for his dog, Ruby. Fancy the cliffhanger at the end. Good job!


(Areas to Improve:) Eventual Suggestions for Sequels:✒️

I have the feeling that this is just the prologue of some bigger picture. Because of this, I can't really tell you what to work on your content, so I’m going to give you suggestions for upcoming sequels. (I am not into sci-fi a lot, but hey. I saw the 100 on Netflix, so yeah.) You can take your story any direction you want, so take a look at my suggestions.

1.Create a plot twist backstory for Silas:

Maybe one where his parents were killed in a brutal way or his neighbours are cannibals and ate his earlier dog that's why he is all Alert. (Maybe his neighbours are just poor and some criminal robbed them and killed their child, that's why they had to eat other stuff, because they didn't have any money left.)

2.Make it all have been in Silas’s head :

Maybe it was all a dream and Silas is actually a grown up, but he fell into some sort of coma after his house got burned down by his neighbours or fellow Aliens? Maybe this is his time to reflect on what's happened.

3.Make Silas a bad guy:

What if Silas went through something horrible as a child and couldn't really control it and he didn't get therapy because his foster parents thought it would eventually pass. So, he became a baddie.

Overall Feelings:

You have made a pretty strong start. I would definitely recommend you to continue this if you like to. I can't really say much because your story is short, so I'll keep it short too. I hope you check into my suggestions and find something to inspire you.

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Amazingly yours,
Rinisha
– Be yourself and keep writing! 📖🎉




Serrurie says...


Thank you for reviewing my work! Unfortunately, this was only supposed to be an unfinished piece that I mainly only finished just to post it on here. But I%u2019m glad you enjoyed it!



AmayaStatham says...


That's alright.




Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.
— Captain Jack Sparrow