Imagine if you had a love;
Not a human one
But a bond, something
That carried you through your troubles
And heartaches and pain
And actually pointed you in the direction
Of the future you didn’t know you wanted.
*
Imagine going through years
Of trying to perfect this entity
Into something that you want to share
With the world or anyone else,
That’s felt like the Earth was shattering
Crashing, as if they were being consumed
By the darkness of that blade in the bathroom,
Blood on the vanity
*
Imagine you finally got there,
To a place where you know
If you were over there,
You’d be praised, accepted and appreciated
But even so, when you go
To the closest thing that you have to there,
Then they just stand there stare at you,
Quiet, making you ponder, what’s the
Reason they’re not understanding the emotions
The joy, the fear, the tears you’ve cried to get this far?
Then just say plainly, “It’s Anime.”
*
Imagine hearing that word,
The word that carried you through
Three years of self-hate and loneliness,
Made you stronger in the next four,
And brought you to that floor,
Only to hear it spit on and torn
By older men who can’t see past their diplomas and noses
Calling it “cheap” and calling it “done,”
Saying “there’s no originality”, Or
“Who’s art style are you stealing?”
Then turning their heads, sighing,
Saying “besides this, you’ve got potential.
Just drop that and you’ll be successful.”
*
Imagine what you’d feel:
Too stunned to know that it’s real.
That the thing that you’ve put over
Six years, blood, tears, money
And gave you smiles, hollers, and cheers,
Process and progress, only
For it to be shunned for where
It came from and the generic genre
Of an art style they call “done” and “trashy,”
And then to be so carelessly told
“Throw your Savior away.”
*
Imagine now, this response,
From an Art Student that
Followed the rules,
Played the games, but
Did not do one single thing.
I didn’t give up my art.
I tweaked it, yes, but you can still see
My roots and where I give credit to my abilities,
Because I refuse to turn my back
On the subject that gave me the chance
To have a life I want to live,
That gave me confidence in what I can do,
And most important; made me realize
That the pen is stronger than the blade,
And that the closing my book
Isn’t the final rule.
*
Imagine this:
Anime are cartoons.
So thus cartoons like Disney or Marvel must be
“Done”, “Trashy”, and “Cheap”
Because of the generic style, they’re mainly American,
And obviously someone must have stolen
Their ideas from someone else
Kinda like writing, except;
It was accepted there that anything new
Is just a new take on what has been done before,
And nothing is original.
But it’s still seen as great because who cares,
If The Lion King is Hamlet on four legs,
Or Warm Bodies is Romeo and Juliet without the death,
Because there’s still the emotion there.
*
Imagine if I was to say
"You can’t look up to Walt Disney
Because his art style is dated."
Many would get mad and say I’m wrong,
Then I’d say “You say the same about my heroes.”
Hiyao Miyazaki is a legend,
But because he’s Japanese
He’s placed into this box of shame
Along with the rest of us that love it too.
So might I say, to you who looks down,
Think before you say
That what many love is stupid,
That it’s a waste of time and that we should
Stick to the "correct version" of animation,
Because that “trash” has saved lives like mine,
Saved lives of my friends, gave them places to love
And characters they inspire to be.
Now if you can’t see that,
Throw your version away,
Because it seems you’ve forgotten
What the point behind art is.
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140,573 Literary Works • 673,519 Reviews
Hey!
Really great emotional content in this piece. I can really see where you're coming from, and I feel like you've laid out this poem in a very convincing essay-style which is perfect for the point you're trying to make. You've got everything you need to keep this strong and sound. I really love that you're using argumentative style in this and developing your thesis and points in an emotionally charged way. You do that really really well.
That being said, I do want to review, so I'm going to do that by providing you with something you could edit in this poem. The top, compared to the bottom, is a little weak. In an essay when you finish writing it, you should always rewrite your first paragraph because you finally know what your direction is. I feel like this poem needs that too despite it being a poem and not an essay. You get a really strong idea about three stanzas in, and the first two become sort of, not useless, but not as important. The shift in character really makes it feel like you have some lazy weight that isn't completely pulling it's fill, and my suggestion would be to trim the top. Not because long poems are bad, or anything like that, but just because that section of your poem feels a little like you were searching for how you were going to end it, and it's done, so now you can trim off what you wrote when you didn't know where it was going and when you didn't really know what your thesis was exactly going to be worded like.
Also, explore capitalization! I think this is really strong in this style, but it could be just as strong in other styles too, so I'd really like to see you exploring other styles of capitalization in other poems. This means capitalizing only when you have the start of sentences, or not capitalizing anything, or any sort of capitalization you want, you could just capitalize for emphasis too, like just words you want people to SCREAM. or when you wanT thEM TO CRESCENDO!
Here's a thing I wrote to give people when I suggest playing with capitalization Capitalization in Poetry
and here's a guide to posting stanzas and things on YWS just in case you need it
How to Format Poetry
Oh! And here's a thing about editing poetry
Editing Your Baby
AND LAST BUT NEVER LEAST! A great resource for all words poetry.
Kiss My Assonance - 5 ways to improve your poetry
[and a link to the index. Poetry Tutorials Article Index in case you want to check other things out]
HAPPY POETING!
I am really excited to see what you do next.
Very creative!
Hey, Jay here, your friendly neighborhood critic!
So, I'm not very good at poetry. . .
I don't do much poetry--if I ever write one, it's going to be a prophecy. "Child of lightning beware the earth, through a quest the Seven shall birth" and all that shenanigans.
So, I don't think I'm fit to actually write a REVIEW on this.
But seeing as I'm a hardcore Otaku I just HAAAAAD to come and read this.
Great job!
Really describes the feeling of getting pulled into anime--and all the feels that come with anime. xD
It also does well a description of my brother-in-law's feelings on me and anime.
In-law: "Get a life, anime is crap. The animation style is lazy and the plots are all the same."
Me: "Get away--it's fun stuff here. You only watched the stuff that was REALLY popular--that's all the same."
Hello Harry here for a review: Lets go part by part and don't take it the wrong way if I sound rude. Just trying to help. (Imagine if you had a love
Not a human one
But a bond, something
That carried you through your troubles
And heartaches and pain
And actually pointed you in the direction
Of the future you didn’t know you wanted
Imagine going through years
Of trying to perfect this entity
Into something that you want to share
With the world or anyone else
That’s felt like the Earth was shattering
Crashing, as if they were being consumed
By the darkness of that blade in the bathroom
Blood on the vanity ) OK first off I like the beginning but you have some problems here. One you need to check your punctuation. Even poems have periods and commas and you used none here, Just because it is a poem doesn't mean that there is no punctuation. I made the same mistake, the reader wants to know where your sentences split and where to pause. But over all you have a great start, you get right to the point and start telling a story and asking questions to get the reader thinking. I am running out of time so I can't go part by part but lets finish up with the ending and middle. The middle was a great job because you stuck to the story line and didn't go all over the place.
The ending was a little more confusing but I went back and read it again and it was a great job. You ended it where the reader wants more but you just stop it. Like you ran out of ideas, that happens but try getting rid of the ending or change it to where the reader has no more questions about the story. Overall good work And Happy Writing.
Just going to comment a bit here~ Some styles of poetry don't use punctuation as much, that's what the line breaks are for. There are tons of different types of poetry, and I think you're reviewing it as just one. Not trying to offend, just something to think about.