*Someone is going to want to put me in an asylum after this... Just so you know I love cats. They're my favorite animals. Also, I wrote this because I really am crazy about fruit. Not this crazy, but I do love it. This is for JFW1415's contest.*
Orange slivers glide across my tongue
Juices squirt from tiny nodules
Drips from the corner of my lips
Upside-down strawberries
look like neon-pink umbrellas
when I cut off their tips
Tangy sweet lingers on my fingers;
I lick it off to savor the flavor
Come back to me
No, those wretched ones stole my loves-
they ate half my fruity pie.
Not one would explain to me why.
Oh, the horror! My darlings are gone
Why oh why did they eat half my pie?
They stole it and ran on.
I’ll go to the circus, since they have to be there
I’ll go and I’ll find the thieves
No others but freaks would steal and not care
I take up my knife from the cutting board
And with a glint of steel in my eye
Set out to seek revenge.
***
Circus freaks with their crazy hair
And bizarre smiles and noses
Need to lay off the crack
So I say in a maniacal voice
While brandishing my knife
“I’ve come to get my pretties back!”
Can’t say it was me who made them flee
Because I truly believe they would have fled
Without my knife so slick and orange-red.
After they’d gone and I searched their small flat
I could not find my fruitful dearies
Just small bits of this and that
Before I went home to guard my true loved ones
I sat with my hands propped up and hummed glum songs
So absorbed was I in my lost eaten pie
In a place full of crazies I shouldn’t have jumped
when a small yellow cat popped up
to greet my hand with soft purrs.
Curiosity killed the cat, I’m told
I picked up the cute little thing in my hand
And my darlings say for the cat that was that
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,565 Reviews
Just popped in to say that your entry for the contest was much better than mine! You actually took the time to develop a decent storyline to yours, unlike mine which was short and dull. The flow was good enough as were the descriptions. My favorite stanza:
~Day
Really random! I like it!
Awwwesome. I loved it. Sounded like a nursery rythmn but better.
Although I do like nursery rythmns---some of them.
Hey, I entered that contest as well!
I liked this one, not for it's sheer wordiness or anything, but because it was enjoyable and funny. I'd have to agree with Fiction about the second part being better than the first because I believe it's more descriptive and clearer. And it included circus people, which made me giggle.
All in all, it was pretty good! Not going to nitpick it at all because I think it's fine on it's own. Keep it coming!
~Horseradish
I think that you have a great descriptive poem. I have to say that I like the second part over the first.
I think that you will probably get first or second place. Good luck, FictionThis is my favorite part...