My skin is red and dry as an autumn leaf,
and through its cracks is charcoal black.
I'm still as a quill in a writer's block.
A vulnerable kitten may wander by,
and find rest in the nook of my armpit.
It might take a bite, and who could blame it?
Not I, for the space is meaty.
When passed the torch it set me alight,
But not this one.
This one with its toxic gut, it may walk a mile more.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Heya!
This is a very unique poem. I liked how abstract it was, and I just think it's very interesting.
Well done!
Hi Scartuina, acm here for a review! I thought this piece was really descriptive and had good comparisons in it, but I'm not sure I got the meaning. Here's my take:
I though that this meant the person was crying or had been for awhile.
Just two corrects, but the word, 'it's' should be its, since the apostrophe means that you add in an is. Also, you should change the word 'is' to 'are' because cracks are plural.
I thinks this is means that things that you loved and sheltered are turning against you.
Just once more, 'it's' should be 'its'.
So that's all I have for a review. I really liked this piece and can't wait to read more of your poetry!
I will fix the grammar stuff but I won't change "is" to "are" seeing as singular refers to the colour charcoal black, indicating a solid and unobstructed colour.
Hey there, Scartuina! I'm here to tell you what I personally think this poem means.
Okay, so... The red, cracked skin and writer's block means that the person is aging, but they're not really getting anywhere in life. The kitten means that even the 'lowest' people are doing more things with their life than the narrator. The torch means when people try and get the narrator to do things, they are 'set alight', so panic attacks maybe? So it's about how the person's anxiety is holding them back from achieving things in life, and people just keep ignoring them/taking advantage of them? The last bit didn't make much sense to me though. But yeah, that's what I got from this. Nice writing, by the way. I liked all your metaphors. 
I'm just happy people are getting different things out of it
that's always the goal of any poem I write. That people can read it and apply their own meaning to it.
Hello, Godly here and happy review!
Hm an interesting poem to say the least. You wanted us to find a meaning so I will try my best to dig down and cracks open this mystery. But for now I will talk about its ups and downs within the poem.
I like the comparisons a lot! They're unique, interesting and draws me in as a reader. The poem seems to remind me of waxworks or candles - back when Romans used to turn people into candles. This takes the whole thing in a literal sense and thus presents a story of the poem. However seeing as you use so much imagery and you wanted us to look for a meaning, I highly doubt the literal sense.
What really puts me off with this poem is the excessive use of imagery. Sure you can use imagery in every line and that is fine. The thing that you can't do is make it almost random. The first few lines flow but then it takes this armpit idea and shatters the flow of the poem. This imagery is not only a put off but it can ground a halt to the poem entirely. If you lead up to the sudden change, whilst it would effectively defeat the point, it will make it more likely for the reader to want to read on.
My last confusion is the title kitten. It's relevance is unclear. Is it supposed to put a dark poem off as innocent? Do you want the reader to focus on the kitten? Or is it something else entirely? If you don't mind could you please let me know under this review.
OK onto the deep stuff!
As I have been typing this review I have reconsidered my literal idea and twised it into a more metophorical sense. Why did I do this? Well after re reading a few times and seeing your name and profile picture, I decided that I couldn't be too far off. This poem seems to talk about feeling lonely or useless. How the narrator feels like they're always going to be none other than someones disposable benifit. Thus the candle idea comes into play. The narrator feels so useless to himself that he'd rather just stand there like a wax work and nevery have to consider it again. But as we get further into the poem we start to realise that he is reconsidering his feelings to the extent he wants to walk on more. But he doesn't like this so he tris to damn it down with insults and pain but it is no use. He wants out. This could be a representation about one who is about to suicide but regrets the idea pretty quickly. Overall an incredibly dark poem with a confusing face.
Keep writing,
All the best
Godly
I'm glad my poem could make you think
All meanings you can find are really correct.
But I wrote this poem with the idea of responsibility,
handing the torch is in reference to the relay race or the more well known olympics. The narrator was unready for the responsibility of continuing the race, the torch lit him alight when handed to him. The narrator speaks from the perspective of an immobile body, a corpse perhaps. The kitten to me represented the new and the fresh, the innocent even. The idea was that even if you feel unready for responsibility you will in some way contribute to the furthering of society as a whole.
I wrote this after my mum talked to me about her unrealistic expectations, her having been a grade A student overachiever. About how I felt I would be burned out from all that I am unready for.
Thanks for the review and I can see where you got your understanding from
No problem! Thanks for telling me the message it is a powerful one
(I think the armpit pit threw me off course)