Cushion

Wow. Very, very creepy. I like it a lot!! Leaves a lot to the imagination, which is one of the best things to do in these situations. Demons, parasitic aliens, poltergeists......many possibilities. My one question is: "My pallid yellow" what? Its pallid yellow what? I'm confused. Other than that it was very good! Well done! Especially the crimson floor beginning to dry.

Nice to meet you, Scartuina! I'm here to review your wonderful poem today, so let's begin, shall we?

To be honest, this poem does strike me as a little formulaic. It relies on a lot of repetitions to keep it going (particularly when it comes to you've sat here too long/I've sat here too long/I'll sit here forever), although that necessarily isn't a bad thing. Personally, I don't mind it, as it gives me a way to tie together the various stanzas present into a cohesive arrangement, and provide a consistent narrative. I imagine that this was, of course, your purpose. Too, you include a large array of descriptive and vivid imagery, and I'm impressed with how much you're able to convey in a short amount of lines. We have the established characters, the drama, violence, and horror elements that are conveyed to the end. So, all in all, I like this poem - it's decent, and wording such as "with your sandpaper skin and one big eye" provide a sense of surprise and horror that your poem does nicely with.

On the other hand, I have a few complaints. Sometimes your imagery comes off as contradictory, or doesn't do a good job of creating comparisons. For instance, your first line indicates that the cushion is "shiny and round as a coin," which is not supported by an further descriptions - both describe it as like sandpaper or mottled, or a lot more disturbing. I suppose it probably comes across as a thought in my head that coins should be relatively smooth (or, at least, not resembling sandpaper, unless they're particularly bad coins), or perhaps the narrative is less reliable than I imagined. In the case of the latter, that makes me even more impressed with the poem. Regardless, I'm not a big fan of that particular usage of imagery, and I can say something similar for describing it as "soft and malleable," when it quite clearly appears to be the opposite. So that's something I'd suggest you work on, especially when it comes to the consistency of your visions, as vivid as they are.

Beyond that, I thought that "hard to leave like a puppy in the rain" fit awkwardly with the rest of the poem, especially given the line's length. I didn't have an easy time relating to the line as well. Why can't you just carry the puppy home? Why do you have to stay with it, out in the rain? Furthermore, "The tiled floor is collecting crimson" is kind of an odd way to say you're bleeding out, even if it was meant to be indirect. It also uses the passive voice, which makes the line seem weak, and I'm not a big fan of it. Finally, my last critique comes in the form of your using the same structure to end each of your lines. Personally, given that this appears to be a free verse poem, as only a few lines rhyme (which is something I else I don't prefer, as it gives the impression that you're attempting to rhyme to your readers, which leaves them confused when you don't), I'm not sure why you have to end your lines in the exact same way, especially as it leaves some of them awkward and disconnected. This particularly applies to lines that could easily fit in the same sentence, or be tied together with semicolons (for instance, "You've sat here too long,/ Your pallid yellow is collecting dust")

All in all, I think this is a fine poem, with good metaphors and imagery, but I didn't feel like you really explored the usage of figurative language and the nature of free verse poetry. Feel free to experiment, be a little more random, and be sure to emphasize your usage of imagery while preserving the cohesive nature of the poem. Also, what made the narrator, who is the main focus of the poem, consider the cushion as a cushion, right until the very end, and then accuse the cushion of lying? Is the narrator less sane than I'm imagining, or were they manipulated by the cushion into this unfortunate demise? How could the narrator have been fooled, in that case? Regardless, there were many aspects of this poem that I liked, and I advise that you continue experimenting and pursuing your poeting endeavors. Finally, thanks for this good story! It was a lot of fun to read!

-Silver

Honestly... I liked it, but it was a little confusing. I'm not sure what this 'cushion' is. I was curious to find out, but I never did. That's a little unsatisfying. The style was good, but a few lines seemed to come out of no-where, and the ending... The poem feels incomplete.
I liked it though, and I want to read more from you, just remember to...explain yourself, please. I hate being kept in suspense.
Keep writing!