LMS VI: Shadows & Dragonfire - Chapter 1.7

Hey again Scar - I've made it to the end of chapter one!

I'm hopeful I can get through chapter two at a similar pace but I'm notorious for getting distracted and reviewing other things so please shout at me if I don't get back to reviewing this at least by next week.

I'm glad you addressed the point about them having slowed down at the beginning of this section. Even though they aren't on an official time crunch this delay has to have had an impact and it makes sense they're all feeling it. Lorne feeling stabby made me chuckle too, love that characterisation!

I like that Vena is joining their little group. She's a good character to be in the situation not only because of her expertise but also because of how she interacts with the others. She has a very clear voice and I'm glad we get to see some more of her. I also want her to have a chance to shoot down a pigeon xD

The point I made earlier about not knowing how the chapter end would be different to any of the section ends is, I think, still valid. There's an awful lot crammed into this first chapter to the point where I feel like most of it goes by too fast. We've had so many scene changes and revealing conversations happen that I feel like this could easily be at least three chapters already with some of the action drawn out.

The characters also behave like we're already half way through the novel - especially considering they've all only just met Vena and Issy didn't know most of them at the start of the chapter. I think part of this is because it's hard to tell just how much time has passed (something that I think could be indicated better with this being split into chapters). As the reader I still feel like I'm getting to know them but I'm not really learning what I would expect to at the beginning of a novel.

The plot seems solid, and the characters are likeable enough that I think if you adjust the pacing everything will fall nicely into place! I'm not sure what's planned for this group next, but I'm looking forward to reading chapter two (in hopefully not too long).

Hopefully my thoughts on chapter one have been helpful but please shout if you have any specific questions and I'll do my best to answer!

Icy

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! Well here we are at the halfway mark and the end of the first chapter. This has been a great journey so far.

First Impression: Well this was a surprise here and an ending that I did not expect to see, but one that's pretty strong nonetheless. Vena joining up to their little questing part was also a fun little surprise, but I love that decision because it would've been cruel to leave her behind after we get to know so much about her in the last couple of chapters.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Lorne sat by his little brother's side, slowly and methodically stitching up Issy's side as he listened to Vena speak in low tones to the village's leader a few feet away. Now that they'd killed the beast, Vena wanted to move on. Which meant they were also going to head off again. Nearly a week in one place had slowed their pace quite a bit and everyone was starting to get a little... irritable. Honestly, Lorne couldn't blame them for it. Even he was starting to get a little stabby. At least his shoulder was feeling better. Not healed, not even close, but definitely better.

Alvena sat down beside him, apparently done speaking to the villagers, and sighed heavily. "Last they saw," she said, tilting her head a little as she watched him. Lorne glanced at her. "Avery was headed dead east, along the river."

He hummed, adding another stitch to Issy's side--and ignored the cursing his brother threw at him for that. "I take it that's the direction you'll be headed?"

"Not to mention whatever likes to hide in rivers around here," Issy muttered, and Lorne sighed. He tied off the stitches and tugged his brother's shirt back down. Lorne gave him a look. "What? Let's just say I've seen a few things, alright?"

"Right." Lorne stared his brother down for a long moment then looked to Alvena. "I think we'd be amendable to that, though perhaps it'd be best to ask Sage and the others."

Travelling with Alvena was quite different to when she wasn't with them. The elf woman frequently scouted ahead and at one stage, she'd returned with a large, fluffy cat with white and black fur. Lorne squinted at it, not quite sure if he'd ever seen something like it before. He might've, a long time ago. Besides, the damn thing was bigger than any cat he remembered seeing before.

Sage stared it down and the cat stared back; Lorne didn't like the look in the dragon's eyes. At least he didn't try to eat the thing. Lorne didn't think that Vena'd like that, if Sage had even tried.

Their first night camping was uneventful, as was the second. It was as the sun was setting on the third that they came across Edda.

Or, rather, what was left of Edda.

Lorne stared at the smoking husk of a village with a deep and unsettling feeling of unease. The buildings were all half-collapsed and burned out, some of them still smouldering slightly. He exchanged a look with Emrys and Cassidy, then at Sage, Alvena and Issy.

"I don't like this," Sage said softly, eyes narrowing as they all turned to stare into the village. They were on the edge of it and hesitating. Lorne figured they'd get a move on eventually.

"Neither do I," Alvena muttered and turned to give Lorne a look.

The village of Edda was deserted, crumbling beyond disrepair and into ruin. Lorne was pretty sure no one had been there in weeks, at the very least. If not months, if the state of some of the buildings were anything to go by. At least there weren't any corpses left. Just a few scattered bones.

And blood. A lot of blood, dried and flaky and deep rust in colour.

Vena's leopard had slinked off ahead, sniffing intently as it went, while they all followed. Vena stopped in the middle of the old wooden bridge and watched it. Lorne moved to the railing, peering over it into the river. He listened half-heartedly as Emrys and Sage began to search a nearby building and Cassidy and Issy investigated the half-collapsed ruin of what may have been a tavern.

She sighed. "So it would seem," she said, crossing her arms and frowning. "I am quite...put out. I feel that staying here would be unwise."

Sage and Emrys came a stop by them, empty-handed. "Are you suggesting we keep moving?" Emrys asked and they both turned to look at him. "What? It's a legitimate question."

"That is exactly what I am suggesting," she said, gesturing to the village in general. "Unless you want to invite yourselves to be haunted tonight?"

"So we are to move on, then?"

Lorne sighed deeply and leaned back against the bridge's railing. "We can at least find anything useful before we head out, right?"

Vena nodded. "Search for supplies, weapons, wood--anything useful, really."

With that, they all scattered to search the village and all it's half-decimated buildings. Vena stayed by the bridge with her leopard while Lorne searched a nearby crumbled building. Sage and Emrys searched a few more buildings a little further down the way while Cassidy and Issy searched the tavern and a few other buildings on the other side of the river.