Synopsis of the book: 17 year old Nova is kicked out of school for hacking into her principal’s email. She's sent to live with her strict uncle in the countryside. She expects this to be a boring summer with terrible Wi-Fi. But when her uncle disappears, she finds a hidden room in the basement, coded messages, and a burner phone with one instruction: Activate Protocol Raven. Suddenly, she’s being hunted, recruited, and trained by an off-the-books spy network—and she's the key to stopping an attack no one else sees coming. With a sarcastic team of teen agents and her hacking skills, the fate of the world now rests upon her.
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I wasn’t planning to get expelled on a Tuesday. It just sort of… happened.
One minute I was eating a lukewarm pizza in the cafeteria, minding my own business. The next, I was sitting in the front office, facing a very red-faced Principal Sherwood, who looked like he was about to explode.
“This is serious, Nova,” he said, holding up a printed screenshot. “You accessed restricted files. You impersonated a staff member.”
He was technically right. But he was also missing the point.
Mrs. Carter’s son stole the physics exam answer sheet to protect his GPA and stay on the soccer team. Then she deleted the camera footage — yep, the teacher herself — to cover for him.
My best friend, Maya, got blamed because she happened to be near the office at the wrong time, and apparently failing a mock test made her look “desperate enough” to cheat. No one believed her. No one believed me either. So, I did what any reasonable person would do to help her best friend.
First, I made a fake IT update email that looked exactly like the ones the school sends out. When Mrs. Carter clicked the link and typed in her password, I got access to her account. From there, I logged in on a school computer, dug through the system’s hidden backups, and found the original camera footage. It showed exactly what I thought it would.
I emailed the video to everyone in the school — students, teachers, admins.
That’s when everything exploded.
“Do you deny hacking into school property?” he asked.
“Nope.”
“Do you understand the severity of your actions?”
“Deeply. Existentially.”
He blinked. “Nova, this isn’t funny.”
“I’m not laughing.” I gestured toward my face. “This is my serious expression.”
Beside me, my mom let out a sigh that sounded like it had been building for seventeen years.
That was the end of the meeting.
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An hour later, I was in the passenger seat of our car.
It was quiet. And not the peaceful or gentle kind of quiet.
It was the kind of quiet that crackled with unspoken disappointment—like thunder in the distance, just waiting to roll in.
My mom’s hands gripped the steering wheel like it was the only thing stopping her from screaming. Her jaw was clenched; her eyes locked on the road as if glaring at it hard enough would erase everything that happened in the principal’s office.
I shifted in my seat. The silence was suffocating.
“You’re mad,” I said, staring out the window at a blur of trees and grey sky.
“No,” she replied, her voice tight. “I’m… processing.”
Ah. Processing. That’s what she called it when she didn’t trust herself not to say something she’d regret.
“I didn’t do it for fun,” I tried.
She didn’t answer.
“I did it because Maya was getting blamed for something she didn’t do. No one was listening.”
Still nothing.
Mom doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand that I can’t just stand there and do nothing while someone I love is being punished for something they haven’t done. Not again.
“You’re going to your uncle’s.”
I blinked. “What?”
“You’re staying with your uncle Max for the summer.”
“You’re—what—just sending me away?”
"This is for your own good," she said, like shipping your teenage daughter off to the middle of nowhere was some kind of a favor. “You need Discipline Nova. You’re too reckless. Too impulsive. You act first and think… eventually.”
Ouch.
I stared at her, waiting for the part where she took it back. Said she didn’t mean it. But it didn’t come.
Instead, she just kept driving like this was a perfectly normal Tuesday —like I hadn’t just been expelled from school.
“So that’s it?” I asked. “One mistake and you’re done with me?”
“It’s not one mistake,” she said, her voice rising slightly. “It’s this mistake, on top of a hundred smaller ones. I thought taking your laptop away would stop all your hacking, but you’ve resorted to using the school computers. And then the excuses that you make later? The way you always think you’re the smartest person in the room—”
“I am the smartest person in the room!” I snapped.
Her eyes locked onto mine, no anger, no surprise — just a hollow exhaustion that seemed to settle deep in her bones. Like she’d been carrying the weight of this fight for years and was running out of strength.
“Well, then maybe you’ll learn something useful from your uncle for a change.”
“He lives in the woods. With no wi-fi. He once made me do push-ups just because I was chewing gum too loud!”
“He’s a retired military officer. He has discipline,” she said flatly. “Which is exactly what you need right now.”
I open my mouth to argue, but the words get stuck. Because underneath her anger, I see it: the fear. The helplessness. The sadness of someone who’s trying their best and still feels like they’re losing.
And I hate that. I hate that I put it there.
“You’re really doing this,” I whisper.
She nods. “You leave tomorrow.”
And just like that, I’m being shipped off to the one person on earth more terrifying than Principal Sherwood.
UPDATED VERSION OF THE CHAPTER:
I wasn’t planning to get expelled on a Tuesday. It just sort of… happened.
One minute I was eating a cold pizza in the cafeteria, minding my own business. The next, I was sitting in the front office, facing a very red-faced Principal Sherwood, who looked like he was about to explode. I half expected steam to come out of his ears.
“This is serious, Nova,” he said, showing the emails on his laptop. “You accessed restricted files and impersonated a staff member!”
He was technically right. But he was also missing the point.
Mrs. Carter’s son stole the physics exam answer sheet to protect his GPA and stay on the soccer team. Then she deleted the camera footage — yep, the teacher herself — to cover for him.
My best friend, Maya, got blamed because she happened to be near the office at the wrong time, and apparently failing a mock test made her look “desperate enough” to cheat. No one believed her. No one believed me either. So of course, I did what any reasonable person would do to help her best friend.
I created a fake IT update email that looked exactly like the ones the school sends out. Header, signature, even the pixelated little logo with the eagle mascot. It was flawless. When Mrs. Carter clicked the link and typed in her password, I got access to her account. From there, I logged in on a school computer, dug through the system’s hidden backups, and found the original camera footage. It showed exactly what I thought it would. Maya was innocent. She hadn’t stolen anything.
I emailed the video to everyone in the school — students, teachers, admins.
That’s when everything exploded.
“Do you deny hacking into school property?” he asked.
“Nope.”
“Do you understand the severity of your actions?”
“Deeply. Existentially.”
He blinked. “Nova, this isn’t funny.”
“I’m not laughing.” I gestured toward my face. “This is my serious expression.”
Beside me, my mom let out a sigh that sounded like it had been building for seventeen years.
“I’m so sorry,” she said massaging her forehead. “This isn’t like her. Well, it is like her, but—”
“Mom,” I said.
She ignored me. “She didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”
“I meant all of it,” I corrected.
Sherwood pinched the bridge of his nose. “Regardless of intentions, the outcome is the same.” He shuffled a stack of papers, exhaled, and finally said it, “Nova, you’re expelled, effective immediately.”
That was the end of the meeting.
***
The moment I stepped into the hallway, every pair of eyes pretended not to look at me. And failed.
My mom walked ahead of me, stiff and silent, heels tapping too loudly against the tile.
A pair of juniors whispered behind their hands. Someone else lifted their phone like they were about to snap a picture, then thought better of it when Mom shot them a death-glare so intense it could’ve melted lockers.
“Keep walking,” she muttered, not slowing down.
But I stopped.
Because Maya was there.
She stood at the end of the hallway, clutching her backpack with both hands. Her eyes were wide, worried, like she had been waiting the whole time, bouncing nervously between hope and dread. Knowing her, she was probably pacing while I was in the principal’s office.
“Nova,” she breathed when I reached her.
“I told you I’d fix it,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm even though my chest was still racing.
She blinked—once, twice, like she wasn’t sure what to say first. “They’re saying you’re expelled,” she whispered finally.
“Yep.” I forced a shrug, trying to play it off.
She stepped closer, lowering her voice so my mom wouldn’t hear. The guilt was clear in her eyes. “You didn’t have to do all that for me.”
“Yes, I did,” I said. “Because you didn’t cheat. And nobody else cared enough to look.”
Her eyes got shiny, and she looked down at her sneakers. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “If I hadn’t been there… if they hadn’t blamed me—”
“It’s not your fault,” I cut in. “It’s theirs. They covered for the wrong person. I just…did what they should have done.”
She hesitated, biting her lip, like she wanted to say more but couldn’t quite find the words. Finally, she looked up, her voice almost a whisper. “I… I don’t even know what to say. I mean… thank you feels so small.”
I gave her a small, wry smile. “There’s no need to thank me. Just…take care of yourself. I don’t think the rumours about this are going to die down anytime soon.”
She let out a shaky breath and nodded, as if my words were a lifeline.
I glanced at Mom, who was waiting for me near the door, her posture stiff, jaw tight.
Maya noticed. Her face fell, worry flickering across her features. “Are you going to be okay?”
I hesitated, then shrugged, trying to sound casual. “I’ll survive. Probably.”
Without another word, she pulled me into a hug so fast I almost stumbled. It was tight and warm and felt like something inside me wanted to crack open.
“Text me,” she whispered.
“You know my mom will probably confiscate my phone,” I murmured back.
She rolled her eyes. “Since when has that stopped you before?”
A laugh slipped out of me before I could stop it.
Reluctantly, I stepped back. Maya took a small step too, like she wasn’t fully ready to let go yet either.
“I’ll check in later,” she said, voice soft but certain.
“Please don’t do anything dumb,” I said automatically.
She raised an eyebrow. “You literally hacked the school network,"
“…Fair point.”
We shared a weak, stupid grin. One of those that didn’t fix anything but made everything feel less impossible.
I finally turned toward the doors where Mom stood, watching us with an unreadable expression. The soles of my shoes clicked softly, each step felt heavier than the last, like I was leaving one version of my life behind and stepping into another I hadn’t chosen. A strange, unfamiliar one.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my shoulders and my mind. This was the start of a very long, very complicated summer.
Mom led the way, already moving toward the parking lot. I fell into step behind her and glanced back at Maya standing at the entrance.
She waved once, small and tentative, and I waved back, forcing myself to smile.
***
10 minutes later, I was in the passenger seat of our car, doing everything I could not to think about the word expelled. Or about the look on Principal Sherwood’s face. Or the way Mom wouldn’t even look at me.
It was quiet in the car. And not the peaceful or gentle kind of quiet. It was the kind of quiet that was so loud, it crackled with unspoken disappointment—like thunder in the distance, just waiting to roll in.
My mom’s hands gripped the steering wheel like it was the only thing stopping her from screaming. Her jaw was clenched; her eyes locked on the road as if glaring at it hard enough would erase everything that happened in the principal’s office. Erase me. Even the turn signal clicked too loudly.
I shifted in my seat, curling my fingers into the fabric of the seatbelt. The silence felt heavy, almost suffocating.
“You’re mad,” I said finally, staring out the window at a blur of trees and grey sky.
“No,” she replied, her voice tight. “I’m… processing.”
Ah. Processing. That’s what she called it when she didn’t trust herself not to say something she’d regret.
“I didn’t do it for fun,” I tried.
She didn’t answer.
“I did it because Maya was getting blamed for something she didn’t do. No one was listening.”
Still nothing.
Mom doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand that I can’t just stand there and do nothing while someone I love is being punished for something they haven’t done. Not again. Not after what happened to Dad.
“You’re going to your uncle’s.”
I blinked. “What?”
“You’re staying with your uncle Max for the summer.”
“You’re—what—just sending me away?”
"This is for your own good," she said, like shipping your teenage daughter off to the middle of nowhere was some kind of a favour. “You need discipline Nova. You’re too reckless. Too impulsive. You act first and think… eventually.”
Ouch.
I stared at her, waiting for the part where she took it back. Said she didn’t mean it. But it didn’t come. Instead, she just kept driving like this was a perfectly normal Tuesday —like I hadn’t just been expelled from school.
“So that’s it?” I asked. “One mistake and you’re done with me?”
“It’s not one mistake,” she said, her voice rising slightly. “It’s this mistake, on top of a hundred smaller ones. I thought taking your laptop away would stop all your hacking, but you’ve resorted to using the school computers. And then the excuses that you make later? The way you always think you’re the smartest person in the room—”
“I am the smartest person in the room!” I snapped.
Her eyes met my dark brown ones, not with anger or surprise, but with a hollow exhaustion that seemed to settle deep in her bones. Like she’d been carrying the weight of this fight for years and was running out of strength.
“Well, then maybe you’ll learn something useful from your uncle for a change.”
“He lives in the woods. With no wi-fi. He once made me do push-ups just because I was chewing gum too loud!”
“He’s a retired military officer. He has discipline,” she said flatly. “Which is exactly what you need right now.”
She sighed, one hand briefly leaving the steering wheel to rub at her temple. “I’ll call him tonight. He won’t mind. Honestly, I think he’ll be glad to have you.”
Like I was some kind of charity case he’d be proud to take on.
I open my mouth to argue, but the words get stuck. Because underneath her anger, I see it: the fear. The helplessness. The sadness of someone who’s trying their best and still feels like they’re losing.
And I hate that. I hate that I put it there.
“You’re really doing this,” I whisper.
She nods, jaw tight. “I’ll help you pack in the morning.”
And just like that, I’m being shipped off to the one person on earth more terrifying than Principal Sherwood.
***
That night, I couldn’t sleep.
The ceiling above my bed looked the same as it always did — cracked paint, that one weird water stain that kind of looks like a dinosaur. But everything felt… different. Like my room wasn’t mine anymore. Like the walls already knew I was leaving.
I rolled over and opened the top drawer of my nightstand. Buried beneath some crumpled receipts was a photo.
It was the three of us. Me, Mom, and Dad.
I was maybe eight in the picture, perched on Dad’s shoulders, laughing so hard my eyes were shut. Mom stood beside us, grinning so wide it crinkled the corners of her eyes. The way she used to. Before. I haven’t seen that smile in a long time. That spark.
Back then, everything still felt possible.
I ran my thumb along the edge of the photo, slow and careful, as if touching it too hard might make it fade.
Dad would’ve understood. He always said truth was worth fighting for, even if it got you in trouble. Especially then. He used to call me his little firewall. Said I had a gift for seeing through the lies.
And then…he was gone.
Everyone talks about him like a cautionary tale now. But not me. I remember the look in his eyes when he told me, “If you don’t stand up for what’s right, who will?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and shoved the photo back in the drawer carefully slipped the photo into my backpack, knowing I’d take it with me to Uncle Max’s. A little piece of home I could hold onto.
I missed him.
I wish he was here.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,742 Reviews
Love the title
Heyy, thank you
Hi SanaPathan, I have so many things I want to read now that my Green Room work has winded down that I resorted to rolling dice. Congratz, the dice chose a chapter of your story so here goes =D
Oh this is such a boomer thing to do XD I love it!I will just skip the synopsis since I don't like spoilers (why yes, I rarely read the back of the books I have either!)
pls ignore that I started this story not in chronological order. Blame the Green Room!Love the first sentence already =D Reminds me why I chose this story as a Highlight XD (and I guess this might be in the January Highlights as well ^^)
Hmmm I don't think I like how you just dump the exposition on us though. That is a very unengaging couple of paragraphs. Maybe if you break it up with more context in real time, the director giving more info on what happened and Nova adding her own, internal commentary, this would work better? I do like the final line tho: "So, I did what any reasonable person would do to help her best friend." I can get right behind an MC who does stuff like that and thinks like that =D
While I do like how she explains how she did it, v professional xd, I feel like if you got even deeper in her head and showed more of her voice or what she felt while doing it, this would turn out more engaging. As it stands, it has the same "expostion dump" feel as the previous exposition dump.
I do love the dialogue exchange at the end of the first section. Had to smile all the way through
Loved this sentence in particular: "my mom let out a sigh that sounded like it had been building for seventeen years."
Maybe Nova should have sent the video anonymously. It sounds like she used her own account for it and got caught that way. Or maybe she didn't care abt getting caught?
I do wonder if her mom is super annoyed but also kinda ...proud bc Nova did rectify a legit miscarriage of justice.... at the cost of her own standing
This sounds like an excellent prompt for more context, instead of earlier in the chapter where it just felt like an info dump
That paragraph here also feels... like it contains too much information. I wish she wouldn't spell it out like that. It feels very hand-holdy.
Uhmm this might be cultural differences but i dont understand how... you can just send someone away like that? Don't you need to go to school? What do you even do when you are expelled? Was the hint abt the exams earlier actually abt giving out a handy timeframe, that readers now know this takes place before the summer holidays? Also what does it mean that she got expelled right before the holidays. Does she need to retake the exams or do they still count????
Well... I'm pretty sure she's not doing that right? This should be much earlier in the day and she's all angry which also shouldnt be normal....
Oh I like the "this mistake on top of" line. Also how oblivious Nova has been about this mounting tidal wave of things she did wrong. Would love to get some sorta summary of all her "small" transgressions xd
I don't like this line tho: "would stop all your hacking," because it sounds... so ill-informed and not what she should be saying here.
He sounds like an excellent fellow lol "He once made me do push-ups just because I was chewing gum too loud!”
I kinda sounds like Mom already prepared for that. Like, Nova getting expelled just makes her spring this on Nova much earlier than planned. It feels like Mom already called Max and set this up LONG before this Tuesday XD
I like the premise of this story. It sounds fun and I already know I will love the future chapters which is a huge bonus too :3
Heyy! First of all, thank you so much for the detailed review, and I am honoured the dice picked my chapter
.
You%u2019re right, I might have info dumped too much. I didn't want to spend too long on the expulsion scene, so I went with a summary style, but I agree it could feel heavy. Your note about adding more of Nova's internal thoughts was really helpful. I%u2019ve actually revised the chapter a bit after reading your review to improve that.
About the timeline, you read it correctly. In my head it is a few weeks before summer break and her exams still count. I will try to make that clearer
And yes, her mom had already planned to send her to Uncle Max for the summer for reasons that come up later, so the expulsion just sped things up.
Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment in such depth. It%u2019s really helpful, and I%u2019m glad the premise hooked you. I hope the later chapters live up to your expectations too
Nova's narration is humorous. Her dry humor is very funny and it resembles and relates to teenagers of this day and age.
What Nova did even though it was technically illegal showed Nova's zeal for justice and the cost of doing what's right which was really powerful for me. I really liked the plot of this story. Nova is seen to have a commitment to doing what is right and what she did showed loyalty to her moral beliefs and standards. I like that this story is also fast paced.
Hey! Thank you so much for reading! I'm so glad you enjoyed Nova's dry humor. I wanted her voice to feel relatable and grounded, so it's great to hear that it connected
Oh. My. GOD! This is the best concept ever!!!!! There's only one mistake I saw which was, " 'You need Discipline Nova." which you should only uncapetalize your work. I really have no words other than wow. You reviewed my work so now I'll definetly look into yours! I really love how Nova has that teen sass, she's likeable but doesn't have the best train of thought and is very impulsive. Nova is exactly what I would expect her to be but she doesn't show too much remorse for her actions. She shows remorse because it afects her mom. She has a strong sense of justice but doesn't know how to act accordingly. I'm totally hooked! I really love Nova's character and I will be readind more into this!
Heyy! Thank you so much!! I%u2019m seriously so happy you connected with Nova and picked up on all the things I was trying to show in her character. You're totally right, she%u2019s bold and impulsive, but deep down she really just wants to do what's right (even if she messes up the how sometimes). Thanks for catching that typo too, I%u2019ll fix it! I%u2019m so glad you%u2019re hooked and I can%u2019t wait to dive into more of your story as well!
btw, my chapter 2,3 & 4 are up if you'd like to check it out
Hi! I really love your work! I think this is a fascinating topic and the first chapter is very intruging.
I like the main character Nova - smart, courageous, risk-taking, and had a deep sense of justice. As she was expelled I couldn't help but felt supportive for her. You made the first chapter very effective - introducing the context, building up on the main character, and leading into her adventure, which will be the main plot. You also had delicated language and very real conversations, which made my reading experience very enjoyable.
Keep up this great work with your novel! I love the idea of trying to write a long novel and I'm also working on mine, so good luck for both of us~I'm so happy that I read this today and I'll keep up with your future chapters!
Heyy! I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review, it means a lot to me
I'm so glad you connected with Nova and felt invested in her story right from the start. t%u2019s so encouraging to hear that the first chapter worked well in setting up the story and building the foundation for the adventure ahead.
Good luck with your own novel too! I%u2019d love to check it out sometime.
Nova is so alive! She feels like a teenage girl. Her voice is sardonic, intelligent, emotionally guarded, and that’s such a tough line to walk! You let her be clever without turning her into a caricature, and her pain seeps through in the small things, which makes it feel more dynamic. She's so real!
Like this, for example:
I love this interaction! Nova is self-aware, witty, and deeply principled -- she’s the kind of protagonist readers root for from chapter one.
Nova’s relationship with her mom is so layered, as well. I can tell that there’s history here. I can feel the frustration, love, and worry through every word. Since this is only the first chapter, I expect it'll be explored more too! It isn't easy to write human relationships, but this is a good example. For instance:
This is huge. You drop it just enough to suggest trauma or backstory without over-explaining. It creates mystery and depth. I want to lean into the story more, and that’s exactly what compelling writing does.
Her hacking background is a little vague, though, especially for something so critical to the story. You show her execution of the hack, which is perfect. A sentence earlier about why she knows how to do this might be helpful. It's not every day that a teenage girl knows how to hack!
With that logic, this sentence could become:
Something like this. The foundation is strong, but if she’s going to be hacking stuff again at her uncle’s, I think giving that context of how deep her skills go would set it up better. Skills don't come out of nowhere, after all!
Great first chapter!
Hi! Thank you so much for this amazing review! I%u2019m so glad Nova felt real to you! I%u2019ve spent a lot of time trying to balance her sarcasm and emotional walls without losing the vulnerability underneath, so hearing that it came through means a lot.
You're absolutely right about the hacking background. I held back on including too much early on because it%u2019s tied to a bigger part of Nova%u2019s past that I%u2019ll get into later %u2014 but your point is super helpful, and I%u2019ll definitely look for ways to hint at it a bit earlier without giving too much away.
Thank you again for the thoughtful feedback
-Sana Pathan
Hey SanaPathan! Welcome to YWS! looseleaf here with a review.
I absolutely loved your first chapter! You immediately seize the reader's attention with your opening lines, and you keep it with the speaker's entertaining personality. Your writing is very "snappy" (if you will), and you manage to move the plot along without the reader feeling like they're missing information. Kudos to you!
That being said, toward the end, I think the plot moves too fast. The reader has just been introduced to the dynamic between Nova and her mother, which is fascinating. But it is thrown off course when Nova's mom announces “You’re going to your uncle’s.” I think this part of the chapter could use a little more exposition. Have the mom wrangle with sending Nova to her uncle's---realistically, she couldn't book the flight/plan with him that quickly. Readers need to get to know and establish Nova's relationship with her mother more before you physically split them.
Other than that, your writing is fantastic. Your descriptions are succinct and to-the-point without being bland or overly analytical. I love Nova as a first-person narrator with her interesting observations. Nevertheless, you do a great job of revealing her flaws, such as when she shouts that she is the smartest person in the room. Yikes!
As always, please take my critiques with a grain of salt. Your writing is your writing, and nobody has the final say in it but you. I look forward to reading the next chapters of this story! I know they will be amazing. :)
~ looseleaf
Hi looseleaf! Thank you so much for your detailed and encouraging review! it honestly means a lot to me. I%u2019m really glad you enjoyed the first chapter!
I totally get what you mean about the ending feeling a bit rushed. I%u2019ve been debating how to pace that part and add more depth to Nova%u2019s relationship with her mom before the big decision. I%u2019ll definitely work on your suggestion!
Thanks again for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. It%u2019s really helpful and super motivating to know someone is enjoying the story and looking forward to the next chapters!
- Sana Pathan
Hey! Just wanted to let you know that Chapters 2 and 3 are up now! I%u2019d really love it if you gave them a read and let me know what you think