When you're part of something big,
what are you willing to lose?
For there will inevitably be a Cost.
It may be small like your social life.
But what if is was you family?
Your friends?
Your humanity?
Are you so willing to give up all that?
Is it so worth it,
what you do?
It better be,
because there's nothing worse
than losing your family
because of what you do.
Knowing they died
because of you.
Slowly, day by day,
you humanity slips away;
not being able to grasp those stray wisps of you.
And you know that the only thing that can make you feel better
is if you kill them,
the ones who did it.
A small taste of happiness
as you watch them suffer,
a taste of happiness,
that which you have forgotten.
So ask yourself,
Is it really
Worth
The Cost.
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Thank you for all your comments. I will be sure to remember them when next I post/write.
This poem is really Interesting, I kinda Love it!:)
one thing is that i think you should first re-read it before posting it.
The poem rymes, but not on a "silly" way I like how sometimes you didnt ryme.
I can relate to this poem. If you would like to know how just message me.
thanks <3
lINDSEY.
I kinda liked the idea of this but maybe this could be the beginning or ending of a story. I didn't really think that it would fit with the whole Poetry genre. There are just some minor details I would like to revise.
When you're part of something big, what are you willing to lose? I think that maybe there should be enters in between these
For there will inevitably be a Cost. It may be small like your social life.period But what if it was your family? Or Your friends? Your humanity?
Are you so willing to give that up? Is it so worth it, what you do? This line is a little confusing
It better be, because there's nothing worse that losing your family because of what you do. Knowing they died because of you. Slowly, day by day, your humanity slips away; not being able to grasp those stray wisps of you. I like this line
And you know that the only thing that can make you feel better is if you kill them, the ones who did it.
A small taste of happiness as you watch them suffer, a taste of happiness, that which you have forgotten. Love this line
So ask yourself,
Is it really
Worth
The
Cost?
Overall I liked this, you just had some minor errors like forgetting the "r" in your and such. Keep writing this was good!
Okay, to be honest I'm not a fan of this and I'll tell you why. The first (and biggest) issue is the format - you have a huge block of text and then choppy little lines, and really it isn't fun or easy to read. Also, I got the idea of what you were saying but not really the emotion behind it. Obviously, this is just my opinion, but I just wasn't a fan.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver